Jkhayes
New member
Uhg, where do I start...
Me: I am 20 years old and I live with my parents. I have 0 friends other than a few that I talk to in chat rooms.
I had always thought I was just extremely introverted and maybe a little shy. It started to get worst lately so I did some research and found "Avoidant Personality Disorder", now I am certain it fits me.
I recently lost my last real life friend due to my constant avoidance behavior. I kept making up excuses for reasons why I couldn't "hang out". I really hate small talk and hanging out.
From age 1-12, I lived with an abusive father. I spent 90% of my life in my bedroom and I wasn't allowed to make any noise. I had a few friends, but they weren't allowed over- I had to go to their house to see them, which was not common.
It's similar now days. It's not uncommon for me to go a whole week without going outside. We live about 10 miles away from town, so I can't exactly "get out" whenever I want. I also don't have a car, money, or driving skills.
My real issue here is this:
I have graduated college (Associates in Computer Science) and I owe $18,000 in student loans. I must start paying these back in 3 months. So I must get a job before then. I spend 2-3 hours every day looking for job openings in my area.
The problem here is my disorder is so serious that it's impossible for me to talk on the phone. I only apply for jobs that allow me to apply online or E-mail my resume. I also have to set up interviews over E-mail, because I can't answer my phone or call people. In the last 3 years, I have only talked to my mother on the phone (because of callerID). I don't answer to anyone else.
There are very little jobs here in IT.
I refuse to work in a job where I have to interact with customers.
I can't handle phones.
I have 3 months to find a job.
Due to my frustrating view on ethics and morals, I refuse to get a job that requires me to be a slave to the job- working 9-5. I have pretty high standards for work and I can't settle for anything less.
I can't get psychotherapy because we have very little money. Plus my parents work about 10-12 hours a day (7 days a week) and I don't have a car. We couldn't possibly afford therapy or fit it around their schedule.
I try to talk to my mother about this a lot, but she goes completely silent and doesn't respond very often. I like to believe she still cares, perhaps she just can't help me and is ok with that.
I'm not scared to work though. I am looking forward to getting out and interacting with co-workers. But I refuse to deal with customers and phones. I want a job where I actually matter and feel important.
So many obstacles, personal issues, and demands that it's driving me in a position that I don't think I can get out of.
Given these conditions, what would you do?
Me: I am 20 years old and I live with my parents. I have 0 friends other than a few that I talk to in chat rooms.
I had always thought I was just extremely introverted and maybe a little shy. It started to get worst lately so I did some research and found "Avoidant Personality Disorder", now I am certain it fits me.
I recently lost my last real life friend due to my constant avoidance behavior. I kept making up excuses for reasons why I couldn't "hang out". I really hate small talk and hanging out.
From age 1-12, I lived with an abusive father. I spent 90% of my life in my bedroom and I wasn't allowed to make any noise. I had a few friends, but they weren't allowed over- I had to go to their house to see them, which was not common.
It's similar now days. It's not uncommon for me to go a whole week without going outside. We live about 10 miles away from town, so I can't exactly "get out" whenever I want. I also don't have a car, money, or driving skills.
My real issue here is this:
I have graduated college (Associates in Computer Science) and I owe $18,000 in student loans. I must start paying these back in 3 months. So I must get a job before then. I spend 2-3 hours every day looking for job openings in my area.
The problem here is my disorder is so serious that it's impossible for me to talk on the phone. I only apply for jobs that allow me to apply online or E-mail my resume. I also have to set up interviews over E-mail, because I can't answer my phone or call people. In the last 3 years, I have only talked to my mother on the phone (because of callerID). I don't answer to anyone else.
There are very little jobs here in IT.
I refuse to work in a job where I have to interact with customers.
I can't handle phones.
I have 3 months to find a job.
Due to my frustrating view on ethics and morals, I refuse to get a job that requires me to be a slave to the job- working 9-5. I have pretty high standards for work and I can't settle for anything less.
I can't get psychotherapy because we have very little money. Plus my parents work about 10-12 hours a day (7 days a week) and I don't have a car. We couldn't possibly afford therapy or fit it around their schedule.
I try to talk to my mother about this a lot, but she goes completely silent and doesn't respond very often. I like to believe she still cares, perhaps she just can't help me and is ok with that.
I'm not scared to work though. I am looking forward to getting out and interacting with co-workers. But I refuse to deal with customers and phones. I want a job where I actually matter and feel important.
So many obstacles, personal issues, and demands that it's driving me in a position that I don't think I can get out of.
Given these conditions, what would you do?
