can't do this anymore

[thelostworld]

i feel like giving up..i fucking can't control my facial expression so that i look like a bewildered idiot asshole wherever i go even when i'm driving , people stare at me EVERYWHERE and i never want to go out into the world again. out of millions of potential eggs why did my fucking egg have to be fertilized..this really blows and i dont know whats keeping me from offing myself, i dont want your sympathy but yet at the same time i feel so pissed i hope i don't offend anyone. i know for a fact that evey YOU all would think i was crazy or weird if you saw me out on the street. i am overwhelmed and feel like im losing it .. here's a nice quote i saw once:

"Life is a sexually transmitted disease"

 

[Scottish_Player]

sorry you feel the way you do thelostworld i dont have anything useful that i could say to you other than i know how you are feeling as i have been there maytimes and will still do many times in the future.

I liked your little quote it makes total sense,do you know who said it :?:

 

[maggie]

hey thelostworld-perfect description of how I feel I look- 8O -bewildered idiot asshole...trust me, I know how you feel, and I wouldn't think you were crazy or weird, cause I feel the same and react the same.

 

[wutnow]

There's no choice but to keep going. It sucks, but even as you're thinking about it, you're getting over it - till the next 'it' happens.

You do indeed have my sympathy, I know how bad it can get. I knew I was f:cked by the 2nd grade, had the thousand-yard stare by the 4th. I remember laying on the shag carpet in a cigarette smoke filled house on a sunday afternoon thinking I was in for a lot of hurt and for a long time. I was right.

I've had complete strangers want to kick my ass because of my stressed-out mask. If there's 10 people in a crowd, I'm going to be the one that's f:cked with or hassled. I've even had a drunk ask me what my problem was. Got off a bus in Fargo and not two steps away some big badass is blocking my path asking me who the f:ck I think I am. It took me all of 3 seconds to piss off a complete stranger to the point of imminent, one-sided violence, without saying a word or even acknowledging him.

The rest has been one long endurance test. I'm racing this thing to the finish, trying to get happy before I run out of time.

And truthfully, it hasn't all been bad. I've had random and brief periods of happiness amidst the turmoil and chaos.

Keep trying, man. It's the only thing left to do. If you cash it in, you're done. Keep going. :arrow: :arrow: :arrow:

 

[screwedup]

hey
i know how you feel i dont want to be felt sorry for either i just want to be left alone too.
i am so angry and tried all the time i have taken to stress now to make me feel better and then i cry and feel better,
Take care.

 

[AnnaMaria]

I've alienated people because of my bewildered look too. My advice is to message your face with your fingertips, especially the forehead and cheeks.

 

[ignisfatuus]

"Life is a sexually transmitted disease"

That's actually quite amusing if you're in the right frame of mind.

If there's 10 people in a crowd, I'm going to be the one that's f:cked with or hassled.

I'm always surprised to hear that people see me as aloof. Maybe it is my facial expression or demeanour; I don't really pay attention as I'm too busy trying to remain unnoticed.