Cooking for others

Horatio

Horatio

Well-known member
I guess it was inevitable and if I wanted to avoid such things I shouldnt've been stupid enough to leave home.

Two new flatmates have arrived, previously myself and the others had been looking after ourselves but now they want us all to share meals and take turns cooking...

I can not begin to describe the anxiety this has caused. As it is I am terrified of interacting with my flatmates. When Im home I spend all my time in my room and I only cook for myself when they arent around. Sometimes I even leave the house by climbing out my window to avoid having to walk down the hall and be forced to communicate with them.

Im convinced they think Im 100% weird and want me gone. Flatmates dont want fat weird guys who are no fun, every advertisment seems to want outgoing fun flatmates. That aint me and I dont dare tell them about my socialphobia or depression.

The other day I was so paranoid that they would ask me to cook that I stayed at work until 10pm before coming home.

I am an average cook and I CAN cook if I have to, its not so much the cooking that I am afraid of but having to stand in the kitchen on an allotted day every week with them around me, being forced to communicate. My socialphobia and depression goes in cycles, and if a particularly bad day coincides with my cooking day I dont know what to do. I dont want to have a panic attack in front of them, and if I make a mistake with the cooking I dont want to have to hear them complain.

I am really beggining to regret ever leaving home and honestly dont know how Im going to cope. Ive seriously considered spending all my money on renting my own house so I dont have to worry about such things but it just costs so much!

has anyone else had such worries over simple things like cooking for others? wouldnt be so bad if I got a kitchen built inside my room so I could cook in private, but I cant see the landlord agreeing to that!

argh - why cant they just accept that I prefer to stick to myself and dont want them to cook for me and dont want to cook for them!

me hates people
 
J

jourjaune

Active member
climbing out the window? haha that's totally something I would do. Anyway, have they seen you cook? If not perhaps you could just use the excuse that your skills go nowhere beyond pouring yourself a bowel of cereal. Sorry I couldn't be of much help. Good luck though
 
M

MadCat

Well-known member
They probably can't accept it because their style of life expects everyone to converse and communicate. If a person isn't social they consider that person to be odd/strange/weird or whatever else you want to call it. In most cases they believe in a more stronger form of strange which makes them think you are sick and disturbed.

I'm saying this from personal experience of people considering me the above.
 
M

maggie

Well-known member
I agree, others don't understand how we feel, how difficult these situations are for us. I couldn't cook in front of others either, it would stress me out for days before it was my turn to cook!! 8O So, on my night, I might say, too tired to cook, how about order pizza (but I would order it before so no choice involved) :twisted: pizza and beer, there's supper!!
 
Horatio

Horatio

Well-known member
haha - order pizza and beer is what I normally do when Im just looking after myself and am too afraid to cook in the kitchen around others.

and when I DO cook for myself I make sure its something very simple that doesnt require me to be in the kitchen for long.. eg: Sausages or Steak with bread only takes 5 minutes to fry up. Yeah I know its not that healthy but it takes a lot less time to cook than an asparagus quiche with salad and finely chopped parsley. And the less time I spend in the kitchen the better!

Only problem... I get the distinct impression that such crude "man meals" will not be suitable for my flatmates and that they would much rather prefer the asparagus quiche... so unfortunatly pizzas is out of the question :(

and yes maggie, the roster hasnt even been made and Im already stressing out about my first time cooking... 8O
 
M

maggie

Well-known member
Hey Horatio! I just had big idea! How about tell your hungry flatmates you just started a (very healthy, cleansing) juice fast! No eating for one month. :twisted: So really no need for you to cook, or eat with them for a few weeks, buys you some time. Plus, they will be so envious of how healthy you are!!!!!!!! :D (and maybe leave you alone for a while) :wink:
 
Chilling__Echo

Chilling__Echo

Well-known member
lol the first thing i thought of when i read your post, jourjaune said it for me, i can also see myself going out the window.

i'd feel weird enough having to eat what they cook. one of the things that really set off my anxiety is eating diner with someone else cooking since i'm such a picky eater. but maggie's idea is a good one, go on a crazy diet!
 
N

Nightshade

Well-known member
Would it be an option to cook something like a big stew or curry at a time when nobody is around, then say they can heat it up when they want to eat it? Preparation time is longer but you can cook it anytime.

Not everybody wants fun, outgoing flatmates. Being considerate to others is always a popular feature in a flatmate, and some flats are very independant.

I don't know the ages of your flatmates, but you may find older flatmates easier. And living alone isn't necessarily a bad plan if you are finding it that stressful having flatmates.

One thing I would try to do is avoid thinking things like "they think I'm weird, they don't like people like me, I don't fit in if I can't be really confident and sociable like they are etc". You don't know that. You can't read their minds. Honestly.

I know this is easy to say. I know that you probably know it and you have probably heard it a hundred times, but a couple of months ago it was helpful when someone said this to me, so I thought I'd mention it.
 
annie

annie

Well-known member
Horatio said:
Two new flatmates have arrived, previously myself and the others had been looking after ourselves but now they want us all to share meals and take turns cooking...
Click to expand...

Horatio just because these two new flatmates want to take it in turns to cook, it doesn't mean you have to, does it?
Tell them you would like to cook your own meals, plus your not happy cooking for others, your not a bloody chef for gods sake. I would just tell them that, of course I have a big mouth and would just say that, but I understand that you might not feel comfortable speaking out.
Don't uproot yourself because of them, they moved in, tell them you are doing your own thing. Who cares what they think of you?

annie :)
 
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