i'm sorry sweetie
it seems like to me with the SA, we go through cycles of good times and bad times, even if it's just moments. i think right now you're just in a rough time struggling, and the more you worry about it, the worse it will get for you. remember that people have beat these disorder. it's all mindset. try to focus on something else. remember that you're only human. none of us are perfect. never will be.
look at the others in your family, they all have their struggles too. it's easy to feel like you're the only one in the world suffering from something so irrational. i mean, hell, when i was 6 years old, i never thought i'd be posting on a forum bitching about how fightened the thoughts and presence of
other people made me. but we just gotta fight through it. look at yourself and find something you life. find some selfesteem somewhere, force yourself to be able to wear your heart on your sleeve, that way you don't feel like you're constantly hiding from your family.
you'll get though this, just take some deep breaths, there's always sun after the rain