Hi, let me start by saying i'm new to this forum but have read many posts here which have helped me considerably. I'm really in need for advice/help/suggestions...anything. Basically, in a nutshell i've had OCD all my life. It started with perfectionism and straightening things perfectly, it then went to tapping light switches or objects, and then counting came along. I always counted in "2's"....2, 4, 6, 8, etc. I've had OCD since I was a kid, and it got worse as I grew up. I'm 36 now, and as crazy as OCD is, it's even crazier I lived with it as long as I did before I even knew what the heck it was. I saw a show "Obsessed" and shortly after that about a year ago, I realized I actually had OCD. Anyway, I have probably read hundreds of hours on OCD since then and there's good news and bad news. The good news is that with a ton of effort and hard work i've managed over the last year to completely eliminate all my counting, tapping, straightening, cleaning,stuck thoughts, where i'd think about something and couldn't shake the thought, etc! It took a long time but since i've eliminated those specific types of OCD, my anxiety has almost completely disappeared, as has my depression. This has allowed me to regain control in my life....to some extent.
This is where the issues lies, currently. After those symptoms were gone, don't ask me how, but the OCD seemed to find a way to get at me, yet again. And that is with odd "thoughts" vs. the compulsions. The thoughts revolve around why people's hands move when they talk and how it's basically meaningless as it isn't exactly sign language so my OCD said to me "FOCUS ON THAT, WHY DO PEOPLE, INCLUDING YOURSELF DO THAT WHEN TALKING". That spiraled into breathing, blinking, mouth movement,swallowing, etc. After doing some searching I came to find that was called "sensorimotor OCD". My concern is that while my anxiety is nearly completely gone, and I don't give these OCD thoughts the time of day, they still come into my head because when they initially came present is at a time when I had very high anxiety. What's most difficult is the fact that I could be focused on something completely unrelated to any of this sensorimotor OCD, but if someone's hands move or if I have saliva in my mouth, JUST THE SENSATION triggers the thought.
Just the sensation alone triggers the thoughts. It's almost like I had thought about this meaningless stuff so much when I was highly anxious that it's ETCHED into my mind. I mean most people swallow, blink, breathe..naturally, they don't think about it. In my case this is what my OCD latched onto so I'm doing my best to deal with it, but it's tough. I really would like to ask advice here on my current OCD SYMPTOMS and whether or not this is 'PURE O' and if anyone else here has had or has these sensorimotor OCD symptoms, and if so, what are you doing to deal with them?
I hope this wasn't too detailed, I didn't want to post a few sentences without a little detail. I'm really looking forward to any advice on this and thanks in advance to any replies that may come my way.
This is where the issues lies, currently. After those symptoms were gone, don't ask me how, but the OCD seemed to find a way to get at me, yet again. And that is with odd "thoughts" vs. the compulsions. The thoughts revolve around why people's hands move when they talk and how it's basically meaningless as it isn't exactly sign language so my OCD said to me "FOCUS ON THAT, WHY DO PEOPLE, INCLUDING YOURSELF DO THAT WHEN TALKING". That spiraled into breathing, blinking, mouth movement,swallowing, etc. After doing some searching I came to find that was called "sensorimotor OCD". My concern is that while my anxiety is nearly completely gone, and I don't give these OCD thoughts the time of day, they still come into my head because when they initially came present is at a time when I had very high anxiety. What's most difficult is the fact that I could be focused on something completely unrelated to any of this sensorimotor OCD, but if someone's hands move or if I have saliva in my mouth, JUST THE SENSATION triggers the thought.
Just the sensation alone triggers the thoughts. It's almost like I had thought about this meaningless stuff so much when I was highly anxious that it's ETCHED into my mind. I mean most people swallow, blink, breathe..naturally, they don't think about it. In my case this is what my OCD latched onto so I'm doing my best to deal with it, but it's tough. I really would like to ask advice here on my current OCD SYMPTOMS and whether or not this is 'PURE O' and if anyone else here has had or has these sensorimotor OCD symptoms, and if so, what are you doing to deal with them?
I hope this wasn't too detailed, I didn't want to post a few sentences without a little detail. I'm really looking forward to any advice on this and thanks in advance to any replies that may come my way.