Do I have SP?

[Anonymous]

I've been thinking about this lately.
I'm a pretty independant guy in my 30's. I don't have a problem going to movies or eating out alone. I generally don't like talking to new people even people I know. I hate to say this but it is because I really don't give a shit most of the time what they say. I don't like to pretend I'm interested so I don't engage in any conversation. Could I have depression maybe or am I just an asshole?

I spend a lot of time at home alone but I seem to enjoy it. I have projects I work on and it sometimes consumes me to finish it. I like my space. Its quiet and I don't like loud places. Is being antisocial a social phobia?

I don't always have this problem. There are some people I like to be around and talk to but not many. I don't have a problem interacting with people. At work I direct people to their duties everyday but I rarely chit chat with them because i don't care what goes on in their lives. What's wrong with me? You may think of me as a jerk as you are reading this but I'm not... I may be just selfish in my own way.

 

[racheH]

It doesn't look to me like you do. Not caring what people say doesn't suggest that you care what people think of you, which is the cause of most symptoms of SP. Maybe you just have nothing in common with most people you meet. If you're unsure you could join a club involving something you're interested in, so there'll be something you'll want to discuss.

There's nothing wrong with not wanting to be around people alot; it doesn't necessarily make you more selfish than someone with SP. I haven't always cared about how people were myself, just as long as they were happy with me personally. That's the difference I think. If you feel you can judge and value yourself independant from other people's feelings about you, and their feelings don't automaticly transfer to your perception of yourself even if you know in you're head they're wrong, I wouldn't guess you had an SP. If you're unhappy in some way though, there could be something else wrong. Maybe you just got worried when you found out that people with certain disorders behave in a similar way to you. It doesn't always mean a problem though; it could just be your preferred way to live, in which case if you're happy that's all that matters.

 

[Anonymous]

Only your doctor would know for sure. You seem to me (NOT a doctor) more likely to have traits of Avoidant Personality Disorder (which often overlaps with SP and are often considered equivalent, but there are differences) or even the scarily-named Schizoid Personality Disorder. Much will depend on 1) whether you truly feel that you have problem (which would argue against schizoid) 2) whether you want closer relationships despite either not caring about most people or being scared of them (first part is AVPD-like, the second is more SA; wanting to be closer argues against schizoid) 3) whether you really don't care what people think most of the time, or whether you think you don't care and are in denial about a certain level of fear/anxiety (avpd/SA like traits).

I'm fairly similar to you in a lot of ways. I never thought much about SA or AVPD until I began to realize how I was behaving and found myself wishing for closer relationships. I began to discover how much I actually was fearing, which I didn't realize before because I got SO good at avoiding stuff and persons I didn't want to deal with... I think I'm somewhat AVPD AND SA, not as fearful as many here with most folks, much more uncomfortable than many here with close persons, yet sometimes I don't care what they think and other times it's all I think about. Sometimes I can be rather "normal" and other times I'm a pathetic freak. I hope this helps you out some.

 

[Anonymous]

Only your doctor would know for sure. You seem to me (NOT a doctor) more likely to have traits of Avoidant Personality Disorder (which often overlaps with SP and are often considered equivalent, but there are differences) or even the scarily-named Schizoid Personality Disorder. Much will depend on 1) whether you truly feel that you have problem (which would argue against schizoid) 2) whether you want closer relationships despite either not caring about most people or being scared of them (first part is AVPD-like, the second is more SA; wanting to be closer argues against schizoid) 3) whether you really don't care what people think most of the time, or whether you think you don't care and are in denial about a certain level of fear/anxiety (avpd/SA like traits).

I'm fairly similar to you in a lot of ways. I never thought much about SA or AVPD until I began to realize how I was behaving and found myself wishing for closer relationships. I began to discover how much I actually was fearing, which I didn't realize before because I got SO good at avoiding stuff and persons I didn't want to deal with... I think I'm somewhat AVPD AND SA, not as fearful as many here with most folks, much more uncomfortable than many here with close persons, yet sometimes I don't care what they think and other times it's all I think about. Sometimes I can be rather "normal" and other times I'm a pathetic freak. I hope this helps you out some.

I think you nailed it. I seem to am AVPD and SA somewhat also.
I'm analyzing myself more today. I can honestly say that when a co worker chit chats about his wife or kids or money that I don't want to hear it. He/she is wasting precious moments of my life. It makes me tense and edgy. Sorry, this is how I truly feel. However, if one of my few friends talk to me about this I listen and care.... sometimes. Sometimes when they talk to me, my mind just wanders and I tend to think about things in my life. I dunno , I'm weird.

I know I'm not a social animal but I feel quite comfortable with it. In my twenties I used to be scared of being labeled antisocial. Now, in my thirties, I don't give a rat's ass what others think. I rather listen to nothing than to listen about somebody else's life. I'm not sure if I suffer from depression or not. I am unhappy sometimes and joyful at others. I can laugh at funny things. There are people I hate and people I like. At my job, I can talk a lot about work but anything outside of work, nada.
Maybe I'm a to a degree narccisist because I'm only thinking about myself.

 

[Anonymous]

I wish I had more time to write right now, but lunch break is what it is

You've touched on soemthing I've been thinking about too-- Am I a self-centered jerk, or does my lack of much contact with others naturally means that I'm focused on me? Is it possible to forget how to be interested in other people? (Some characters in a Naipaul novel did.)

I'm much more interested in people when things go beyond the small talk. Maybe I'm more interested in subjects and info than people. I don't know. Perhaps I don't care so much about their family life because I don't seem to care too too much about mine. Do I not care because I don't, or do I not care because I avoid and fear and have convinced myself that I avoid because I don't care? I dunno.