eeek im new

[Leopard]

my agoraphobia is kind of odd.
i dont know how to describe it properly and everyone looks at me funny when i try so i thought maybe a forum with people who understand what its like would be better.

Ok so i'm quite noticable, im like a mixed race 6ft girl and i model so i stand out if not just with height. i find people stare alot and it makes me really uncomfortable when im out. ive been getting it since i was like 12, people stare and i need to be somewhere people arent.
i often totally ignore phone calls and requests for me to go out because i just cannot cannot physically leave the house, its really scary i dont know what scares me but i just cant. its really hard to explain so some of my friends dont understand and think im being deliberately reclusive.
believe me if i could make this go away and go out when i like i so would.

some days its ok. some days i can brave outside. but most days its a nightmare. when im outside i walk with my head down, i recently bought some huge headphones for my ipod which sort of help insulate me in my world so i dont have to be in everyone elses.

im sure i havent described it very well but id really like some help understanding it and maybe even sorting it out.

thankyou
x

 

[sabbath92001]

Hi Leopard, welcome to SPW!

When my agoraphobia doesn't let me out of the house, I pretend my mind and body are an out-of-control robot and I have to force them to do what I want. I've been doing Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) for a while and it's taught me that I can't control my thoughts and feelings, but I can learn to control my arms, legs and mouth. Here are some lyrics that your post reminds me of:

Hold Your Head Up by Argent

And if it's bad
Don't let it get you down, you can take it
And if it hurts
Don't let them see you cry, you can take it

Hold your head up, hold your head up
Hold your head up, hold your head high

And if they stare
Just let them burn their eyes on you moving
And if they shout
Don't let them change a thing what you're doing

Hold your head up, hold your head up
Hold your head up, hold your head high

 

[yuiko]

Hold Your Head Up by Argent

And if it's bad
Don't let it get you down, you can take it
And if it hurts
Don't let them see you cry, you can take it

Hold your head up, hold your head up
Hold your head up, hold your head high

And if they stare
Just let them burn their eyes on you moving
And if they shout
Don't let them change a thing what you're doing

Hold your head up, hold your head up
Hold your head up, hold your head high

sounds like Clawfinger!! :lol:

 

[jimmyfay]

First of all, I don't think anyone can truly explain their agoraphobia to another person. If you've experienced it, you get it. Also, everyone's experience of agoraphobia is unique to their situation. I can relate to your experience somewhat, because I am tall, I am a musician, I am covered with tattoos, and so on... so I am always being "noticed". That can be annoying on it's own, but mix that with the uncomfortable feelings that come along with agoraphobia, and it's quite potent. Do you know the fundamental cause of agoraphobia? Do you understand the physical reactions that go on during agoraphobia? I have a ton of information about your situation... if you have any specific questions about what goes on with agoraphobia, or how to deal with it, let me know. I could ramble on and on, but I only want to give you information you need. I hope I can help...