Feeling such in a bad mood. Ranting

[andsorry]

I'm writing just to let of steam. I had a bad week. Stupid TA took points off my grade because we had different meaning of the word response. Then I did poorly on two exams. I despise exams. Right now I don't even want to be in college. I greatly detest this place. I want a job in the real world but I don't have enough experience and anxiety is crippling me. The depression is slowly creeping back in. I did everything right. I went outside, exercise, I even got a dog to cheer me up. I'm not loving life right now. I want to go back to counseling, but I can't stand how they always write down everything.

 

[MikeyC]

Sounds like quitting college will be a knee-**** reaction to how you're feeling right now. Feelings are always strongest after something bad happens because you haven't had time to see it from different angles or let the effects wear off. Despite not doing so well in the exams, stick to college so you can get that better job you speak of.

Counsellors write things down because they have many clients and it's impossible to remember the events of everyone. It's only there for them to remember what you've told them, not for their social reading.

 

[andsorry]

I'm paranoid that it may get used against me in the future, or someone will find out I'm depressed. People in my social circles don't take to kindly to people who have depression.

 

[MikeyC]

Anything that is said or written down in a counselling session stays in that room. There is no way anyone would find out unless you told them. If you feel you do need to see someone, I still urge you to go back and let them write things down.

Furthermore, if you're in college and they still don't have an open mind about mental health - even if they don't fully understand it - they're not really your friends. If they're not going to accept you for something that doesn't even concern them, it says more about them than it does about you.

 

[PhillipJFry]

If it makes you feel better, grades are pretty arbitrary. For example, you can go through med-school making C's, or making A+'s, and either way you'll become a doctor.

And if it makes you feel less alone at least, I'm also not loving life right now.
But I hope sincerely that things become better for you

 

[PugofCrydee]

People in my social circles don't take to kindly to people who have depression.

Then you need to find different social circles.
People who don't show at least SOME respect for the terrible affliction that is depression simply show a lack of intelligence.

Yet they'd often be the first ones crying for help if they became depressed themselves.

In the end it's more important to those types to be included in the social norm. So they hear one j e r k say something negative about depression, then like sheep blindly follow..