Haven't left the house in 8 years or talked to anyone, help!

[JD999]

After all of this time, I'm finally looking for help!

I haven't left the house (except for necessary things like funerals) for 8 years. I've never had a girlfriend, and I haven't really talked to another human being (male or female) face-to-face for almost 8 years except for family at the funerals a few times.

Ever since graduating high school is when my life stopped. I'm still living in the past from high school every day as if I just graduated yesterday. I'm 26, almost 27 years old now, I don't know what to do. This is killing me and I feel depressed and miserable all of the time. I feel like I'm trapped like a caged animal.

Hard to believe but true. There are levels of social anxiety, and then there is what I have, an absolute horrid beast of what you would call a "life" if you can even call it that, more like an "existance".

If I can't leave the house to get help, how do I solve it? I'm in a catch-22.

Social anxiety (even if that's what I have) is an absolutely evil thing to have happen to someone, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy (if I had one).

Can anyone offer advise?

 

[Danfalc]

Jd999

First of all im sorry to here of the precadimt your in, im pretty much in the same boat as you with only going out for the things that i must do.Your not going to like the advice im going to give you.But you need to get out and start recieving some sort of treatment for this.I know how hard it must seem for you, i get panick attacks as soon as i think about leaving my flat, but at the end of the day if we dont bite the bullet and try and help ourselves were going to be in the same situation 10 years in the future.

If you try but just cant cope with leaving the house, maybe you will be able to get some sort of home treatment team to come to you? Whatever you decide to do i wish you luck and hope you find some way to start dealing with this shit that is social anxiety

 

[paul]

hey JD,

sorry to hear you're suffering from this problem too :? yes it is evil. Well first of all starting by getting to know THIS forum might actually help you a lot; it helped me. It's pretty easy to feel comfortable here and maybe after a little bit, on one of your most "up" days, you should try something extremely small (could be as small as taking out the garbage). Keep doing little things! I definitely know that feeling like "I just can't do it - it's like someone asking me to stick a knife down my throat" but unlike that this will not kill you (hopefully ).
You have social anxiety disorder. Don't bother spending time trying to figure out whose fault it is or being angry for having it (I'm not suggesting that you are). Accepting that you have it is key to getting over it -- how can you defeat something that you don't accept having? As sad as it is, harsh words will not drive SA away.

Good luck with your social phobia -- remember this site and we are all here, we all understand and support you
oh, and welcome to the forums

 

[JD999]

Thanks. I'm going to try to help myself. It was difficult even writing this post at all.

I've been doing research on my symptoms and I'm coming to the conclusion that it's APD (Avoidant Personality Disorder). This probably will be what I'm diagnosed with. Almost everything that I feel falls into this category in every way.

Are there others here that suffer from APD?

 

[Morgs]

Definitely read all the post you can. It's helped me to tell someone. or i am thinking of telling my doctor i even made an appointment for tomorrow
I just hope i can go through with it.

Morgs...

 

[Pearl]

JD999 - l often feel trapped like you, you have to believe there's a way out of this hell though. In my area there's a phone linkup for people living with anxiety and phobias to chat once a week, maybe there's one where you live. I have APD but l try and do things now to break the pattern. All the best with finding help, the only way's up from there

 

[Hellraising]

Re: Haven't left the house in 8 years or talked to anyone, h

I haven't left the house (except for necessary things like funerals)

Then you have left the house.

 

[Mofo]

sounds like agoraphobia

 

[JD999]

Re: Haven't left the house in 8 years or talked to anyone, h

I haven't left the house (except for necessary things like funerals)

Then you have left the house.

1 time in 8 years, for one hour because I was forced to. It was a family funeral.

Never had a driver's license, never had a job, never went to college. My neighbors don't know I live here and I've lived here for 8 years. When I was little I was fine, but not now. Posting in forums is difficult which is really weird.

I don't even have online friends because making friends online (even typing) is just as difficult to me as talking, I have to figure this one out. I'm a little more comfortable to post here now but who knows... I'll probably end up posting here like I always do at every other forum and vanish never to be heard from again.

I'm going to try to change this finally. I don't know what I have for sure, I thought it was APD, but who knows.

 

[Hellraising]

When was the funeral?

Would you like to talk over a messenger? I would really like to talk to someone else who's housebound. I've been searching for quite sometime. Send me a message or something.

 

[young]

Re: Haven't left the house in 8 years or talked to anyone, h

1 time in 8 years, for one hour because I was forced to. It was a family funeral.

Never had a driver's license, never had a job, never went to college. My neighbors don't know I live here and I've lived here for 8 years. When I was little I was fine, but not now. Posting in forums is difficult which is really weird.

I don't even have online friends because making friends online (even typing) is just as difficult to me as talking, I have to figure this one out. I'm a little more comfortable to post here now but who knows... I'll probably end up posting here like I always do at every other forum and vanish never to be heard from again.

I'm going to try to change this finally. I don't know what I have for sure, I thought it was APD, but who knows.

Well you're doing good. In the fact that you want to get past this. I'm assuming that since you don't have a job, that you live at home. Have you talked to your parents about this? I used to keep it bottled up inside for the longest time also. It's hard at times to talk to others. They may look at you different. Really though, who cares what others think of you. If you don't love yourself, how can others love you. That was the hardest thing for me to grasp, and at times i don't want to believe it. But trust me it helps.

 

[Jeannie21]

Congratulate yourself for any step you make towards getting better. Focus on what you've accomplished and not on the negative aspects of your life. Even just researching about different disorders and posting on this forum are big steps. It shows that you've set your mind to getting better which is the most important thing.

good luck and know that you can always talk to us about anything.

 

[Invisible_Alien]

JD999 even though it is difficult for you to type or talk to this forum, I think it's an important first step. I doubt you will one day wake up and decide to take a walk outside. You have to take small steps to get help, and this is definitely a first step. Try to keep talking to this forum. It sounds like you do have agorophobia, but could also have APD, SP and/or other symptoms of other conditions. You will definitely need to get to a counselor or therapist at some point. I also have APD although not officially diagnosed with it. That's cause I tend to avoid shrinks as well. Well hopefully you can find some help here in the mean time.

 

[1984]

hi man, all i can say is go out, go out, meet people, travel force urself to do things otherwise youll stay like this forever, about 3 mounths ago i was suffering from sp really bad,never went out always stayed in everyday was the same. my father and i decided 2 buy myself a motorbike, 2 get me out of the house, good thing is that on a motorbike u r the only 1 there i felt free and that made me happy.
i also started to get my confidence back i went 2 my mates houses on my terms, if i felt a bit paranoid i would make an excusse and leave. but the funny thing is that it never happend, i was enjoying the company of my mates like old times. yesterday i went on my mates 21st and had a blast,went back to his after the club and we were all laughthing and joking , i felt like my old self, not 1 bit paranoid. look mate the only person that is stoping u from having a life is urself, just force urself 2 do things that u dont want 2 do otherwise u will never get better, you will only get worse.
hope u get better mate

 

[JD999]

Thanks for all of the support. I really appreciate it.

What would you advise me to do first? Should I worry about something like my driver's license? Or should I just tackle my problem first? How can I get myself ready to visit a psychologist or someone? I would need to prepare myself at least until they teach how to stop doing that.

I know the way I feel isn't right and I know that it's an incorrect way of looking at things, but it seems like I can't help but feel that way. And having been inside so long, it's difficult to just do things so out of the ordinary for me.

 

[Invisible_Alien]

My advice would be to take small steps first. In order for you to get your license and see a psychologist, you would have to go outside. I'd try tackling getting somewhat comfortable going outside first. Try going out for just a few minutes each day at first. Even if you start just stepping out of your doorstep that's still progress. Once you did that you could try going for walks around the block, stuff like that. Maybe then you could work on calling a psychologist to set an appointment once you feel comfortabel enough with getting outside first. You probably shouldn't try to do too many things at once or you may get frustrated. Just remember even small steps are steps ahead.