rko74
Well-known member
hi folks, im new to this site.Im 31 and live at home with my folks, i have had the social phobia/avoidance problem since well school days.I havent been working and feel more comfortable at home.I have a education level of grade 9 unfortunately, i just couldnt hack school.Im really embarassed to mention that fact, im not proud of it.I quit school entering grade 10, and been living at home ever since.I did try going back to school to finish when my family moved back to Ireland, we are orginally from Ireland.I went to the college there, but i felt so dam uncomfortable in the classes.I had this feeling like when i was sitting at my table and writing or whatever that i would loose control embarass myself.Best thing i can describe it as , is like when you feel like your going to fall that feeling of loosing total control.Kinda hard to describe, but its not a very nice feeling at all.Part of my problem also, it goes back into my childhood, we orginally lived in Ireland then we moved to England and then Finally Canada.Me and my brother put on fake accents, so i started putting on a english accent. When we moved to Canada we intentionally started trying to put on a Canadian accent to fit in with everyone.I would put on the Canadian accent at school etc and when i went home i just talked with my normal Irish accent.When i was at home with my parents i was able to let my personality go and at school etc i was way more stunted personality wise.
This accent thing kinda became a problem when our family moved back to Ireland because i was back in Ireland.I decided to try and intentionally not use my Canadian accent when talking with other people.I tried talking with my normal irish accent , but i found it kinda like a conflict inside myself.I wanted to have my irish accent but whenever i opened my mouth i sounded Canadian.Hahaha this probably sounds weird, its hard to describe it all.But its like a internal struggle, like i dont know which way to talk.I feel this has some bearing on my social phobia problem.Also im very self concious around other people.
Im currently not working or in school, im living at home with my parents and not sure what to do with my life.I feel much more confortable at home, and dont want to face the problem because it makes me so dam uncomfortable.At the same time i know this is not the right way to live and i must find a job and make a life.I guess im afraid to break outa this shell of living at home for so long.
This accent thing kinda became a problem when our family moved back to Ireland because i was back in Ireland.I decided to try and intentionally not use my Canadian accent when talking with other people.I tried talking with my normal irish accent , but i found it kinda like a conflict inside myself.I wanted to have my irish accent but whenever i opened my mouth i sounded Canadian.Hahaha this probably sounds weird, its hard to describe it all.But its like a internal struggle, like i dont know which way to talk.I feel this has some bearing on my social phobia problem.Also im very self concious around other people.
Im currently not working or in school, im living at home with my parents and not sure what to do with my life.I feel much more confortable at home, and dont want to face the problem because it makes me so dam uncomfortable.At the same time i know this is not the right way to live and i must find a job and make a life.I guess im afraid to break outa this shell of living at home for so long.
