rahulindia
Member
hi everyone i am from india 22 years male. i just finished with my MBA and off late have been reading about avpd on the internet. i have not done well in my mba course and the major reason has been my inability at social interaction. i just got a firing from one of the professors for not interacting wid him that is when i realised there is somethin wrong wid me. not that i didnt know it before but ya there is something really wrong.
from my childhood i am a very shy person and quiet. i just didnt talk to any strangers around me. in my school also i hardly talked to anyone in the class and had no friends at all. i just could not make any friends because i could not talk in a free manner to the people around me. i thought i would be ridiculed or made fun of and would speak the wrong thing. hence i just spoke to people whom i thought wud not make fun of me and were "safe" to talk to .
as i grew up and entered higher classes i just even stopped talking a little bit that i used to talk and cud not relate to any of my peers. my interaction was limited to hi/hello how r u... at that time noone even complained about my behaviour. although i could talk to people formally but cud not form any relationship wid them and show intimacy.
i cud not share some of the things wid my parents and my younger sibling.
i cud not talk to my relatives also freely and kind of just was extremely shy in front of them. the main reason being i wud be ridiculed if i talked. so i preffered to keep quiet.
i thought that i wud change wid time but that has not happened at all.
i started living in an hostel in my college days and there in the first year i fortunately accepted some people as my friends. i was happy but after sometime i just would start to stay away from them becuase i thought that i cud not relate to them.
at present i am in a very unhealthy situation
after an incident wid my college friends where i was rejected i completely changed and i have become an hardcore avoidant now. i just cant call up my relatives and talk to them freely coz i think they wud not be interested in talking to me. everyone thinks i am an arrogant person but i am not its just that i am facing problems in talking to people. although i keep tryin to talk to people but its generally a one off conversation and not any kind of a relationship forms.
some of my common behaviors are
1. afraid to call up relatives/friends as fear of not being able to sustain a conversation and they hanging up on me and passing me as an inept person.
2. afraid of calling my childhood friends when i go back home from hostel then i just am at home most of the time and dont go out of the house for fear of meeting an old acquaintance and wud have to talk to him/her.
3. not being able to form relationships wid anyone. friends/cousins siblings parents anyone have a very formal relationship wid everyone.
4. i have a below avg height and my younger sibling is way taller than me and also doin better at work and studies this has further lowered my self image and i am now even more afraid to converse wid any of my relatives.
5. i do call my parents occasionally but again i am not satisfied wid my conversations wid them they are again very formal.
6. i have to rehearse a lot before i call any elder person whom i have somme work from i usually avoid calling whenever possible.
7. have been facing wid suicide thoughts off late as i have not been able to succeed in life only because of my social inabilities which i feel are not my fault..
8. i really have to script out whatever i have to say when i am speaking to elder people/important people.
pls tell me whether i have avpd or not. i have seen the symptoms of avpd and most of them i do feel are 100% rite in my context.
i want someone to pls confirm about this.
from my childhood i am a very shy person and quiet. i just didnt talk to any strangers around me. in my school also i hardly talked to anyone in the class and had no friends at all. i just could not make any friends because i could not talk in a free manner to the people around me. i thought i would be ridiculed or made fun of and would speak the wrong thing. hence i just spoke to people whom i thought wud not make fun of me and were "safe" to talk to .
as i grew up and entered higher classes i just even stopped talking a little bit that i used to talk and cud not relate to any of my peers. my interaction was limited to hi/hello how r u... at that time noone even complained about my behaviour. although i could talk to people formally but cud not form any relationship wid them and show intimacy.
i cud not share some of the things wid my parents and my younger sibling.
i cud not talk to my relatives also freely and kind of just was extremely shy in front of them. the main reason being i wud be ridiculed if i talked. so i preffered to keep quiet.
i thought that i wud change wid time but that has not happened at all.
i started living in an hostel in my college days and there in the first year i fortunately accepted some people as my friends. i was happy but after sometime i just would start to stay away from them becuase i thought that i cud not relate to them.
at present i am in a very unhealthy situation
after an incident wid my college friends where i was rejected i completely changed and i have become an hardcore avoidant now. i just cant call up my relatives and talk to them freely coz i think they wud not be interested in talking to me. everyone thinks i am an arrogant person but i am not its just that i am facing problems in talking to people. although i keep tryin to talk to people but its generally a one off conversation and not any kind of a relationship forms.
some of my common behaviors are
1. afraid to call up relatives/friends as fear of not being able to sustain a conversation and they hanging up on me and passing me as an inept person.
2. afraid of calling my childhood friends when i go back home from hostel then i just am at home most of the time and dont go out of the house for fear of meeting an old acquaintance and wud have to talk to him/her.
3. not being able to form relationships wid anyone. friends/cousins siblings parents anyone have a very formal relationship wid everyone.
4. i have a below avg height and my younger sibling is way taller than me and also doin better at work and studies this has further lowered my self image and i am now even more afraid to converse wid any of my relatives.
5. i do call my parents occasionally but again i am not satisfied wid my conversations wid them they are again very formal.
6. i have to rehearse a lot before i call any elder person whom i have somme work from i usually avoid calling whenever possible.
7. have been facing wid suicide thoughts off late as i have not been able to succeed in life only because of my social inabilities which i feel are not my fault..
8. i really have to script out whatever i have to say when i am speaking to elder people/important people.
pls tell me whether i have avpd or not. i have seen the symptoms of avpd and most of them i do feel are 100% rite in my context.
i want someone to pls confirm about this.