Kalinova17
New member
Yesterday was my lowest time, i should be disturbed by it but i'm not. I kind of lost control. I was about to cross the street like i always do, but usally i'm ver careful and wait 2 seconds after the "walk" signal to let all the bad drivers make a speed turn so i won't get hit. But yesterday, as soon as the walk signal came up i saw a guy driving very fast like he wasn't going to stop. An impulse overcame by body and so i walked right in front of him. He stopped his brakes hard and looked sorry, But wanted him to hit me. Its strange cause thats not how i want to die but i was not in control. I've been getting worse and worse. I don't know how to start getting help. Its expensive right? I live in southern California and don't know were to go. I was forced into therapy like 4 years when i was 14 but the therapist was condescending and tried to pick a fight with me. I have no more appetite and barley sleep. I don't enjoy doing anything anymore. I'll post more about it latter but now i have to work.