I gotta be the best

[thequietone]

This is unreasonable and selfish, I know. I'm just getting so frustrated in my college art classes because...I'm not the best anymore! I know I should just chill out, but I need those compliments, I need to look around the room and know that if a company employer who needed a drawing walked in, he would pick mine.
I'm not sure if this over achiever thing is related to OCD. Does anyone else feel this way at school, work, about grades or projects?

 

[spurs]

can you use it as inspiration to work even harder so that you do become better? in sport when i come across someone who is more skilled it motivates me to work harder even though i'm not as naturally talented as them. when someone is closing in on me when i'm running, i start to speed up so they can't overtake me, whearas if i was alone i'd just go at a steady pace.
the biggest myth about art is that it all comes down to talent.
most artists will tell you that it's "90% hard work and 10% talent" and really this could be said about anyone who is at the top of their field.
and maybe you just think others are better, becasue art is so subjective anyway what really is "better"?
i think that the desire to be "the best" is a strong biological drive. you feel like that for a reason, so try and use those feelings to your advantage.

 

[applesewer]

I was talking to my mum yesterday about almost the exact same thing...I wanna be the best artist in the world....but sometimes I look around and everyone else is making great art, while I've been in this annoying rut for the past year or so....but she reminded me that art is subjective....what one person considers genius, others may consider it total rubbish....it's like this artist/ musician I've been obssessed over lately called Daniel Johnston....He's very little known and yet some people, me included, think he's a total genius. It's like if I do something that I think is genius, but no-one else agree's, I'm not bothered cause I know it's genius, but if loads of people love one of my songs, but I hate it, no amount of praise will ever satisfy me. So I think so long as you do your best and stay true to your own vision thats all that matters.

 

[thequietone]

Thanks for the replies. What I need to do is STOP comparing myself with everyone else...but I just can't stand not being the best at Art, the one thing I consider myself skilled at.
Art is subjective, of course but in classes you are usually given a specific project with guidelines to follow, so there isn't too much breathing room.

can you use it as inspiration to work even harder so that you do become better?

That's the one thing it's good for! My therapist told me that ambition and determination are on the same wavelength as OCD, that there are good qualities to setting high standards for yourself. It's how things get done.
Anyone seen the movie, "The Aviator"? The guy in it is so messed up, with worse OCD than me, but at the same time he's this amazing builder of planes... The best thing is to find a happy medium between CRAZY-ambitious and LAZY. [/i]