whispering_screams
Well-known member
hi wassup
inviting someone to your house
- Thread starter whispering_screams
- Start date
sabbath92003
Banned
Yeah, I'm the same way. I feel my house is never clean enough for others to visit. But at some point you have to stop cleaning and just accept that you've done your best to clean. It's more important to have company than to have no anxiety about your dwelling. Nice people will accept a few dirty dishes or dust, because in the end it doesn't really matter if your place isn't perfect.
GloomySunday
Well-known member
Everybody lives differently, has different ideas about cleanliness and good taste. It's your home and you can keep it as you please. It's there for you to live in and feel comfortable in.
A reasonable amount of cleanliness is a nice thing (I always tidy up before visitors come) but I wouldn't obsess about it. The things you feel "aren't right" about your home nobody else would even notice or care about!
A reasonable amount of cleanliness is a nice thing (I always tidy up before visitors come) but I wouldn't obsess about it. The things you feel "aren't right" about your home nobody else would even notice or care about!
whispering_screams
Well-known member
:idea:
whispering_screams
Well-known member
I want to try being a good hostess!
sabbath92003
Banned
whispering_screams said:
Usually we don't have people over, but last weekend my wife says to me "by the way my sis and her bf are going with us to the concert tomorrow and they'll come by to hang out". Yipes, I started cleaning and cleaning, but eventually I stopped or I would have been too tired for the concert. They came over, complemented my A/V set-up and we left, no big deal.
Definitely buy some chairs or a futon or something. Express yourself thru your surroundings. Music is big for me, if u don't have tunes, buy yourself an mp3 playing boombox and burn some cds to play. Also wall posters are a cheap way to display artworks, musicians, etc.
Normal is over-rated, be yourself.
GloomySunday
Well-known member
Why not ask this person you like for their help? I mean, would they be prepared to come and help you find furnishing, pictures and stuff? If you like them as much as you say, maybe it's a good way to spend some time with them? I think most people would welcome the idea.
whispering_screams
Well-known member
I would LOVE to buy a boombox but I'm a broke college student with a minimum wage job. 
GloomySunday
Well-known member
whispering_screams said:
With MP3's and being able to play CD's on computers, there's no real need to invest in expensive hi fi. I have an audio cable running out of the back of my computer and it's plugged into a second hand amplifier with speakers. It sounds amazing!
Music really does help to set the mood. Whilst musical tastes differ from person to person, we can mostly find some "common ground" with people we know. Whenever I have a guest round I always put something on I know they'll like, something we both can enjoy. It takes the edginess out of the situation somewhat and may help with your new guest.
I hope things go well for you
afterforever
Active member
My OCD is slightly different from what you guys are describing in these situations. I HATE having people over, not due to a fear of my cleanliness being judged, but because I'm a MASSIVE, MASSIVE mysophobe. It means that my one, safe, germ-free zone (my room) is going to be potentially infiltrated by someone who's been out in public and totally filthy in my eyes. I keep everything in here so meticulously germ-free and sanitary that I'd freak if someone even touched something. I remember one time, I had a friend over who took public transportation to get here, and he sat down on my bed, to which I had to bite my tongue and hold back my usual reaction until he left, just to save face. So yeah, as you can guess, I rarely have company.
whispering_screams
Well-known member
GloomySunday said:With MP3's and being able to play CD's on computers, there's no real need to invest in expensive hi fi. I have an audio cable running out of the back of my computer and it's plugged into a second hand amplifier with speakers. It sounds amazing!
Music really does help to set the mood. Whilst musical tastes differ from person to person, we can mostly find some "common ground" with people we know. Whenever I have a guest round I always put something on I know they'll like, something we both can enjoy. It takes the edginess out of the situation somewhat and may help with your new guest.
I hope things go well for you
Thanks for the ideas. If you got any more suggestions, keep them coming.
afterforever said:
I've been like that... and I still am. I have to change my clothes immediately when I get home. I can't sit down on my chair or bed otherwise. If I don't change my clothes, I have to sit on the floor. And I put things into categories of "contaminated items and areas" and the uncontaminated ones. And I'm allowed to touch the contaminated ones if I'm about to go out or come home but not before I touch the uncontaminated ones. But I've been realizing lately that I WANT TO HAVE A LIFE! And I want to have people over. After all, it'll be people I like.
I don't care too much about the contamination as I used to. Having said that, god knows how long it'll take me to touch the faucet with my bare hands after washing my hands. lol. I sometimes worry that if someone use my bathroom, they wont turn it off with a paper towel like I do and will spread bathroom germs everywhere they touch. lol. I know I won't get sick if they do that because I've lived with other people and I never got sick from that sort of thing but I still can't change my thought process when I'm all alone by myself. When I invite someone over, it'll be really tough for me because my home is the one place where I don't hide my OCD/anxieties.
My OCD is weird. When I first meet someone, I behave like they are "contaminated" somehow and I'm trying hard not to catch something from them lol, (I don't mean to act that way but it ends up appearing that way, it's like a reflex). But after I get to know them, I stop acting that way. And if I know them well and like them a lot, I'll even be willing eat the food they chewed and spit out. And I don't care much about catching something if they sneeze and cough.
afterforever
Active member
whispering_screams said:
I can especially relate to this. Change of clothes, very heavy handwashing, and any exposed part of my body touched something, well, that gets sanitized too. I'll also say that I can relate to the categorizing of items. Anything "unsanitary" goes on top of my dresser by my bedroom door, and I become grossly upset if it travels beyond that point. And yeah, I'll usually touch the contaminated items if I'm about to go out, seeing as it's no harm in that situation anyway. Totally agree with you about wanting to have a life...I generally don't go out anywhere much, and there's a lot of pressure on mine to find a job after I'm completely done college in a couple of weeks, which kind of sucks because I haven't exactly been forthcoming with this condition to my family, so it's really hard to explain to them why I don't go out or look for work or anything. I've kept it well hidden. That's how it goes, unfortunately