it finally happened

[D]

today my biggest fear for about the last 5 years came true...whether it's a part of social phobia or not I don't know. basicly I got asked to read aloud about 10 mins ago. I said politely 'I would prefer not to read if that's ok' to which I get the response from my teacher 'No it's not ok I'd like you to read' then there was a short argument between me and her before she eventually sent me to the library.

I'm really pissed off and have lost all respect for what I thought was a decent teacher, and the fact that she knows I have interaction problems makes it even worse. She obviously has no respect for my problems. She could have just said 'ok fine' and moved on instead of making a scene and making me look like a twat.

I am pretty upset at the moment and I'm not quite sure what to do. I dont think I can go back into that lesson if my teacher can't respect my problems.

Sorry but I had to get this off my chest.

D.

 

[FruitLooPs]

Awe man that sucks bigtime!

I cant believe she would make you do that if she already knew you had problems with such things. It's like shes got some kind of masochist streak or something..

Go see someone at the school about it. Although that could cause more issues I spose. :?

Have a word with her after class maybe and explain that it on no uncertain terms that you dont/cant handle those situations and that she has to accept that or you will go tell someone else or change class.

Surely 90% of teachers would be able to accept that and say sorry to you. I'm assuming that you thought she knows about your problems of course - if you have already told her about them formally then OMG thats just BS go higher than her or something.

Arg thats so annoying. I hated teachers who would do that, especially math because some equations were pretty easy and if you are asked you really feel the pressure and sometimes even if i knew the answer i would lose it just because i was put on the spot.

Bad method of teaching IMO.

 

[D]

Thanks for your reply Loops.

She knows full well I have interaction problems as I tried to drop the course about 2 weeks ago because of them, but she talked me out of it.

What makes this 10x worse is that I have a couple of mates in this class who will probably be asking me arkward questions later. I wouldn't care so much if it was a class of people who I don't care about. This is seriously the worse thing that could happen to me.

She will probably ask to speak to me about it soon and I will say what you said, and if she can't accept that, I'll have to drop the course.

 

[Pro]

That's crap :x When you're at school/work etc and you know that someone else knows about your issues and can partially "protect" you from bad situations. But then they raise the situation themselves.... that sucks big time

 

[FruitLooPs]

Another tip thats often brought up is to either:

1. print off something about your condition that can explain it well

2. get a note from a councilor or psychologist regarding the condition, to prove its not just an excuse or some made up condition.

3. write a letter or points outlining the main points for you, either have it with you when you talk to her (incase you forget things, which is more likely in your case probably) or just write it out in full and give it to her instead.

And like you said, if all else fails then change class or just drop it - it's probably better to avoid messing up your mental health than missing a high school class (depends on the subjects importance I spose though). Alot of people with SA tend to do this anyway to avoid the anxiety brought on by school. Whether this is a good idea or not is debateable though.

As for your mates, hmm thats a tough one. How well do they know you? you could just be vague and say you just highly dislike reading in public - or tell them about the condition if you trust them or know them well - or could just brush it off and change the subject.



I still dont believe that teacher, what a bitch! do your parents know about your SA? if they do then get them to back you up on the matter. Just make sure she gets the message its a big deal to you.

A similar thing happened to me and my brother, he had my best interests at heart but didnt realise how badly this affected me even though he knew I had it. He found out the hardway when I punched him in the face because of it (not recommended for your teacher!) and walked aimlessly across town and back for the night. He embarrased me infront of my friends regarding SA, not a good idea...

An no i'm not a violent person (first time i've used my fists since well forever i guess, im a very passive person) nice to know they work though lol. Sorry for long winded semi off topic post :?

 

[MadCat]

Teachers need to be more educated on these relatively common disorders or be more open-minded. When a person doesn't do something they normally a reason why. If she didn't ask the reason why then she needs a good talking to.

 

[Chilling__Echo]

hm, i might be playing devil's advocate in saying this but maybe she was trying to help you? we don't just learn book smarts in school, otherwise we'd never have to do presentations, group work, or reading aloud. this may sound harsh, but the only way to "get over" something is not to baby it. she may have been giving you the push that she felt you may have needed.

i'm not saying i agree with what she did. i believe that recovery is left for counselors and psychologists to do (and they don't even approach it in the same way. putting someone on the spot is not a good idea). it may also explain why she was so persistant with you. but all that's up to you, YOU decide if you want to *cure* yourself and you also decide how you go about it. if i were you i'd have a chat with her and like the others said, bring some research with you. on MadCat's note, if nothing else, she'd be more aware of something she might encounter again in the future with someone else like us.

 

[LilMissTragic]

I'd ask to have a private chat with her. Explain that she made you feel uncomfortable and embarrassed. If she tries it again just get up and walk out.

 

[Moonie]

I was always thankful for the teachers who respected that some people just don't do well with public speaking/reading and some do. I always found reading from you desk to be harder than actually getting up in front of the room and giving a presentation. From your desk, I think it's harder for people to hear you since you are not facing everyone and not trying to project your voice. However, you are going to encounter presentations in the future, and I find that the more you do, the easier it becomes. I am extremely shy, so it was always hard for me. I would worry about it the night before and push it back if I could. The best thing I did, was stop caring. I would practice what it was that I needed to say, but after that, I'd push it from my min and not worry about it anymore. I'd still be a bit nervous when up there, but I knew my classmates and they knew how shy I was. I think if you make an attempt, it is very courageous and they will repsect you for that. They can't fail you for trying, at least. LOL, it was always funny giving a presenation in HS, but everyone was completely quiet and focused on me, because I never talked at all! It is amusing, actually. I would just talk to your teacher and tell her wht you feel comfortable with. Can you do presentations? Can you do small group work? Maybe you would do better with what you are prepared with. Being asked to read from a book is a bit spontaneous, so perhaps you could tell your teacher you were caught off guard.

 

[D]

Well, believe it or not this all turn out positively. Firstly I told my mum the same day what had happened, and needless to say she wasn't very happy (she does know about my problems). So she phoned up said teacher and no doubt gave her a bit of an earful and she basicly said she would apologise to me and talk to me about it properly, basicly take my problems seriously.

Not only that, but on the subject of my mates, they were surprisingly supportive towards me and they all thought the teacher was out of order. They also informed me that earlier in the year a few people had said the same thing when being asked to read and were allowed to skip it by the same teacher! (I joined the course late). So I feel a bit victimised and I can also use this against her when we come to speak.

Anyway I finish for easter tomorrow so I can relax for 2 weeks and forget about all my college related problems!

Thanks for all your replys.

D.

 

[JoUrNeY]

Yah that sucks!!...

The teacher should be more compassionate and understanding to your situation. I wanna see her put on your lenses in see what happens?

I have spoken to several teachers about my phobias and depression and for the most part, got pretty good responses.

Well, in any case, good luck to you with your classes...