Hi guys. I'm new here and this is my first post on the board, I'm 16 years old and have been living with OCD for almost all my life. Since I was around 5 years old I started doing compulsions, I would constantly ask my mom and dad if I would get "sick or a stomache" if I ate the food that was in front of me. No matter what meal it was or what food it was I always felt compelled to ask "will I get sick or have a stomache if i eat this?" I didn't know why I asked it I was only 5 or so. Time went on and I developed a new compulsion, I would constantly crack my neck. I would have to crack it until I got just the "right" one. I never did feel fully satisfied after doing it though. And after I did it I would have to say just the right thing in my head, often times after doing it I said the name of the girl I liked at the time to calm me down. I dont even know why I just did. I never thought I had OCD until I really thought about what it was, I just thought my compulsions and obsessions were part of what I did and didn't really question it for a while. Then around october or november of 2010 my obsessions really picked up. I had just gotten a girlfriend, I asked her out on october 26th and we've been dating 9 months and still going strong 
Around a month after I got into my first serious relationship I started to wonder if I was gay. My world was flipped upside down. I had just gotten a girlfriend and for the past 16 years of my life had never questioned my sexuality. I didn't even think to question it. But one day it popped into my head, and I couldnt get it out. So 8 months later I am still battling with this one question. I have identified it as an obsession but it still continues to haunt me. I think it originated as a younger child but I didn't realize it. For example, when I cracked my neck if I thought of a guys name immediatly after cracking my neck I would have to go through the compulsion again until I said the name of the girl that I liked. I couln't even make sense of it, it was just like that. So when the obsession of homosexuality came up it hit me harder than any other obsession I've had (getting sick, family members getting hurt) I was so distracted by the obsession that I literally couldn't do anything I loved. When snowboarding in the backyard set up that I made I sat at the top of the hill for 30 minutes going through compulsions, it debilitated (sp?) me. When I was with my girlfriend I couldn't even enjoy myself. Now things have gotten better, I feel like I've been moving forward for sure. But last night I got so freaked out, after smoking some marijuana I gave in to my obsessions and started questioning myself. I started checking to see if men turned me on and I actually was able to get sort of hard by thinking of men having intercourse. I got so scared, whenever I did that I never had that reaction before. I got all anxious and freaked out. Then I imagined myself with a woman and I was able to get hard like I always had and it didn't trigger any anxiety. The only anxiety I got was when I imagined myself with a man. I feel like that erection I got from imagining homosexual intercourse was more from the act of doing something sexual. After breaking it down though, it is called sexual PREFERENCE for a reason. I am almost positive I prefer having intercourse with a woman. Could I theoretically have intercourse with a man, I guess so but I don't think I would enjoy it much at all. The crazy part about HOCD is, I just explained all of this to myself but I still don't feel satisfied and 100% sure that I'm straight. Would anyone like to add some insight?
Around a month after I got into my first serious relationship I started to wonder if I was gay. My world was flipped upside down. I had just gotten a girlfriend and for the past 16 years of my life had never questioned my sexuality. I didn't even think to question it. But one day it popped into my head, and I couldnt get it out. So 8 months later I am still battling with this one question. I have identified it as an obsession but it still continues to haunt me. I think it originated as a younger child but I didn't realize it. For example, when I cracked my neck if I thought of a guys name immediatly after cracking my neck I would have to go through the compulsion again until I said the name of the girl that I liked. I couln't even make sense of it, it was just like that. So when the obsession of homosexuality came up it hit me harder than any other obsession I've had (getting sick, family members getting hurt) I was so distracted by the obsession that I literally couldn't do anything I loved. When snowboarding in the backyard set up that I made I sat at the top of the hill for 30 minutes going through compulsions, it debilitated (sp?) me. When I was with my girlfriend I couldn't even enjoy myself. Now things have gotten better, I feel like I've been moving forward for sure. But last night I got so freaked out, after smoking some marijuana I gave in to my obsessions and started questioning myself. I started checking to see if men turned me on and I actually was able to get sort of hard by thinking of men having intercourse. I got so scared, whenever I did that I never had that reaction before. I got all anxious and freaked out. Then I imagined myself with a woman and I was able to get hard like I always had and it didn't trigger any anxiety. The only anxiety I got was when I imagined myself with a man. I feel like that erection I got from imagining homosexual intercourse was more from the act of doing something sexual. After breaking it down though, it is called sexual PREFERENCE for a reason. I am almost positive I prefer having intercourse with a woman. Could I theoretically have intercourse with a man, I guess so but I don't think I would enjoy it much at all. The crazy part about HOCD is, I just explained all of this to myself but I still don't feel satisfied and 100% sure that I'm straight. Would anyone like to add some insight?