BelovedAunt
Member
Hi folks, I'm new to this forum so I hope I'm doing this right.
Where do I start?
Well, I'll tell you a little about myself. I'm a 39 year-old divorcee and have suffered various forms of social illness since.....I don't know.....I guess maybe my early teens. My husband left me eleven months ago for another woman. He claimed that he couldn't handle my reluctance to socialise with him - amongst other things. I wont get into all of that just now. We don't have any children of our own, but I absolutely adore my sister's little daughter and love spending time with her whenever my sister lets her visit - which again isn't often. Apparently she doesn't feel comfortable with my "insecurity" and "paranoid tendencies".
Anyway, last night I plucked up the courage to join a couple of work colleagues at a social function. It is the first time I have been able to convince myself to leave the house in that context since the divorce. I felt a little anxious and very self-conscious at first. I struggled to make any significant contact with anybody else at the party - until I found myself in conversation with a charming (on the face of it anyway!!!) gentleman.
Things were going really well until he asked if I would like to see him again, away from the group. Well, I panicked. I felt myself become all flustered and I swear my face was as scarlet as my sweater! I tried hard to compose myself, but the anxiety and the alcohol mixed together and I wet myself. I managed to excuse myself from his company in time to make it to the bathroom before it became too noticeable, but I had to leave immediately afterwards. I was just too embarrassed to face anybody.
So, with the events of last night, I decided to spend my Saturday as I do every Saturday - online. I began using Google in the hope of finding some answers to my questions, and this site came up in the results. This place is amazing! I didn't realise that the type of feelings I feel are so common.
Anyway, I'm looking for some advice. How can I meet new people without going through the turmoil I suffered last night? Are there any other divorcees on this site who have maybe suffered the same problem? Through all my years of social phobia I have never, ever wet myself in public and it is really concerning me. Any help would be much appreicated.
Thanks x
Where do I start?
Well, I'll tell you a little about myself. I'm a 39 year-old divorcee and have suffered various forms of social illness since.....I don't know.....I guess maybe my early teens. My husband left me eleven months ago for another woman. He claimed that he couldn't handle my reluctance to socialise with him - amongst other things. I wont get into all of that just now. We don't have any children of our own, but I absolutely adore my sister's little daughter and love spending time with her whenever my sister lets her visit - which again isn't often. Apparently she doesn't feel comfortable with my "insecurity" and "paranoid tendencies".
Anyway, last night I plucked up the courage to join a couple of work colleagues at a social function. It is the first time I have been able to convince myself to leave the house in that context since the divorce. I felt a little anxious and very self-conscious at first. I struggled to make any significant contact with anybody else at the party - until I found myself in conversation with a charming (on the face of it anyway!!!) gentleman.
Things were going really well until he asked if I would like to see him again, away from the group. Well, I panicked. I felt myself become all flustered and I swear my face was as scarlet as my sweater! I tried hard to compose myself, but the anxiety and the alcohol mixed together and I wet myself. I managed to excuse myself from his company in time to make it to the bathroom before it became too noticeable, but I had to leave immediately afterwards. I was just too embarrassed to face anybody.
So, with the events of last night, I decided to spend my Saturday as I do every Saturday - online. I began using Google in the hope of finding some answers to my questions, and this site came up in the results. This place is amazing! I didn't realise that the type of feelings I feel are so common.
Anyway, I'm looking for some advice. How can I meet new people without going through the turmoil I suffered last night? Are there any other divorcees on this site who have maybe suffered the same problem? Through all my years of social phobia I have never, ever wet myself in public and it is really concerning me. Any help would be much appreicated.
Thanks x
But maybe you could meet new people on social phobia message boards...
