Need help, very confused

Nikoli

New member
I started dealing with OCD when I became 10 years old and moved for the first time to another state, in not so great living conditions. I began to have urges to avoid cracks or turn only the left faucter handle on because it would symoblize my father and I who are left handed and if I did not do this I would be conviced my father would die. Slowly it grew with each new fear, until this day where I am fully consumed.

The thought however that continually attacks me and impairs my judgement is what if I merely have a deeper connection with my brain and a global consciousness (http://www.redorbit.com/news/display/?id=126649) of some sort. Perhaps we have a more developed brain, giving us some sort of telepathy. This continually haunts me and constantly prevents me from taking the steps forward in healing. I have never actually had a confirmation of my OCD but the great amount of evidence that presents itself to me shows a clear relationship with the disease. Can anybody give me their feedback on my thoughts, or just tell me I'm being crazy so I can shut my head up
The thing that keeps me up the most at night is sometimes my feelings and compultions are correct.

Thank ya.
 
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