needing HeLp

[aligurl09]

hey im suffering from social anxiety. basically its rubbing me of my life. i remember always being shy while meeting guys, new people, in class while working in groups, not enjoying public speaking, or participating in gym class. BUT.. I was also going out with family n with my close friends.. after a while I started staying home alot and not even going to skool during hs. That caused me to almost not graduate bcuz I missed so much skool. Now im 18 but I dun feel ready for college bcuz of all of my issues but my family jus doesnt seem to understand. I am reaching out for help but nobody seems to understand that I have a problem. I am commuting to school bcuz its close to home but I dun wanna go to classes. I already cut 2 classes and its gonna catch up with me. How do I go about getting help? bcuz I know I need it more than anything.. I am so depressed you have no idea. I wanna get help n then go off to college after I deal with my issues somehow.

 

[Anonymous]

Maybe you should see a psychologist. That's what I'm doing. It seems to be helping a little. I'm also taking medicine and looking at some self-help books. You could ask your doctor about finding a psychologist or maybe look on the internet for psychologists in your area. I hope you find some help. Good luck with college.

 

[jim]

Hi Aligurl, I would recommend that you do some research on Social Anxiety and see what options are available to you. I've only recently diagnosed myself and am currently reading a book called Dying of Embarrasment (look it up on Amazon). You can also check the website http://www.socialphobia.org/ for more info. There might be therapists available in your area who can work with you on this. Just trust that it is possible to improve your situation - and try not to miss school, even if its painful. I'm 26 now and have been through this since I was 17 I think and still went to high school, college and even grad school. At times it was torture I just wanted to give it all up but somehow I made it though school. I admit, going thru school didn't help me with my SA one bit but at least I can get a job and be independent. Just knowing that there's treatment available is exciting don't you think?

 

[Anonymous]

Ok, If you want help, please do what i write here. Let's take this in simple steps or what i call interventions.

1. Go see your family doctor and explain your problem clearly. Have a complete physical and blood work... (this will eliminate any possible physical causes to your problem.

2. If your doctor is convinced that you suffer from social phobia, then read as much as you can on the syndrome, and physical responses your body goes through when you have an attack and such.

3. Try, either with a specialist, or with profound introspection, try to identify what causes you to fear being around people.

4. Then, this will take some time and effort, it won't be easy, but you will need to confront your fears as bruttaly as you can.

You see, people like us usually run away from fear. We avoid what our brain thinks is danger. So do this next time you walk out of the house and start feeling anxious.

Say to yourself it is ok to be afraid. Repeat it as many times as possible. If a panic attack hits, simply sit down where you are and let it pass. No one has ever died from one. Just let it take its course. It's okay to be afraid. Then when it has passed, examine your body's response to all this: did you hyperventilate? where you dizzy, etc. Try to identify what triggered this? What were you thinking exaclty when you started to panic.

The trick is to identify what you fear and not control the anxiety attack. Let it be. After a while you will see that the attacks will be shorter and less intense... THen you will be able to manage it properly...

I must say here that i have been suffering from general anxiety disorder for many years and i am on my way to a complete cure.... But it takes time and a whole lot of effort and courage on your part to accomplish this.

You really have to take up an attitude that panic is not the enemy, panic is your friend that will help you understand what is missing in your life. Treat panic as a teacher....

 

[Anonymous]

On this page, under MENU - What Is It?, print out the page that gives the meaning of social phobia or anxiety. Show it to your parents and tell them you have this problem. Hopefully, if they see it in writing, they'll assist you in getting help. This problem isn't silly, as I once thought. It's real and very serious. As for college, I don't know which one you'll be attending, but I went to Maryland. It's a huge campus and I hated every second of it. I'm now in a small community college and it seems to be a lot better. You may want to try small.

 

[Anonymous]

Try this

Dear Ali,

This is a textbook example of the kind of situations that my treatment is most effective in when it comes to bringing about solid results. You're shy when meeting the opposite sex ( almost everyone is) ? You hate public speaking (isn't it rated above "death" as far as situations which cause the most anxiety?), you hate meeting new people (it's far easier to meet people you already have a rapport with, isn't it? Making new acquaintances is stressful and sometimes unbearable for everyone). Fine. THEN you stopped "going out with close friends and family," and started "not going to high school." See this is where a problem lies. And, conversely, this is also where a solution lies. Stop it. You're 18, you've missed a tremendous amount of school, and you don't feel ready for college. And now your family is upset with you. OH I FORGOT. AND THEY ALSO DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT IT'S SIMPLY SOCIAL ANXIETY! I'm no nuclear physicist, but I'd guess that...( Sam Kinison-style)YOU NEED TO GO TO SCHOOL! YOU NEED TO GO WHERE THE SCHOOL IS! YOU NEED TO GO CHILL WITH YOUR FRIENDS SOMETIMES! That will solve YOUR FUCKING "SA" problem in no time! Presto! Quit being a pussy. I mean... FUCKING STOP THAT! Idiot. You're just being lazy in school, you're neglecting your friends and family and your wish to spend time with them, and you need to fucking STOP IT; if you want to find happiness. That's how to deal with your issues. Forget the fucking self-diagnosis and stop all that silly shit you're talking about. Much simpler. Oh, and some might say: "well, if it were as easy as simply 'stopping it,' then I bet he, and everyone else with "SA" would have." Of course he tried to "stop it!" To them I say: you're right. He has probably tried to "stop it!" Well, to quote a great ficticious character: "there is no try; only do." I'm not advocating that you "try" to stop it. I'm advocating that you "stop!" this fucking behavior. Once the ridiculousness reaches true cessation, then you will be able to not bother with labeling your lack of ability to FUCKING STOP IT.

Sincerely,

Two Words




hey im suffering from social anxiety. basically its rubbing me of my life. i remember always being shy while meeting guys, new people, in class while working in groups, not enjoying public speaking, or participating in gym class. BUT.. I was also going out with family n with my close friends.. after a while I started staying home alot and not even going to skool during hs. That caused me to almost not graduate bcuz I missed so much skool. Now im 18 but I dun feel ready for college bcuz of all of my issues but my family jus doesnt seem to understand. I am reaching out for help but nobody seems to understand that I have a problem. I am commuting to school bcuz its close to home but I dun wanna go to classes. I already cut 2 classes and its gonna catch up with me. How do I go about getting help? bcuz I know I need it more than anything.. I am so depressed you have no idea. I wanna get help n then go off to college after I deal with my issues somehow.

 

[aligurl09]

mmmkkay

i never said i didnt go out with friends and family i said that i DID that i do go out all the fucken time! and im not being lazy in school even with my issues i still had good grades so go fuck urself!

 

[Anonymous]

Hey Two Words.Either u don't suffer from anxiety yourself or it's so small an issue that u can give the usual advice that most people that don't have anxiety give."snap out of it" , "just do it" , "you just need to go out more".Oh if it were that simple.I know most people have problems speaking in public,talking to stangers,talking to members of the opposite sex.But for someone with SA these are more that just problems,they are practically impossible.And it's not just a case of snap out of it.It's just not that simple,as all of us suffer in different ways.I'm fine at work,no probs(maybe this would change if I were to change jobs),but when i'm out in a pub or club it's usually so bad that i freeze up and withdraw into myself and spent the night isolated mostly saying nothing.I can't make eye contact,unless I really know the person,have trouble making conversation in general,but this is worse as the anxiety grows.I would also avoid going out when the neighbour outside and would cross the road when walking to avoid people.There are so many overlaps with this problem,and I guess I have avoident personality disorder to a degree as well.SA seems to differ from person to person,as does the severity.I suppose this is also true with everything else about us,as we are all different people,wiht different feelings about different things.

I think the good advice is to tell your parents or someone close to you if you think they will understand.You will need to see a GP to diagnose the problem and do the relevent tests to rule out other causes.
There is help out there,but I am aware that it's hard to ask.When I went to my GP it was the hardest thing I'd done in a long time.I mean who want's to go and tell your doc that you have an axiety problem,with all the stigma that surrounds anything to do with problems of the mind.But it was the best move,he was really understanding,gave my some tabs for the anxiety and the depression that acompanies it.He reckoned the best treatment for this was CBT.Although I am still waiting for my CBT,I am trying to get out as much a possible at the weekend,staying later and trying to take small steps forward.I have just started Dr. Richards tapes and I hope they help also.

But I do think that you do need to see your GP,as it is in the nature of someone with SA to diagnose themselfs and then a week later think "oh maybe it's not SA I have,it may be somthing else, "maybe I'm going crazy","maybe I'm a freak that no one likes anyway","maybe It's something else".

Hope this helps u to get some help.