LaMongoose
New member
Hello.
I'm entirely new to this whole forum, and I stumbled across it when looking up symptoms of AvPD.
Anyways, I'll get right down to it.
For a long time I have thought there was something really wrong with me. I felt depressed and suicidal a lot of the time and I still do.
Now that I'm older, and getting through the school they put me in for people who have nowhere else to go, I will be finished next year. While this both scares the shit out of me and makes me glad I don't have to deal with it, I can't help but notice the fear is far greater than the relief.
I have to get a job, and so far I have been unable to work, even an easy job like looking after my cousin's baby made me extremely anxious, I cried.
I don't like admitting that I cry.
I think I am stupid, ugly, fat and unworthy of living, or breathing.
I assume others think so, too.
For years now I've wanted to have a relationship, but every time I have interest in someone I get rejected by them immediately. I just want to be held and have someone to wrap my arms around.
I really wish I had some help. I went to see a doctor, and he gave me something completely irrelevant to my mental health, and I feel hopeless now.
Knowing that I'm not alone has made it somewhat easier for me, but not really. I need support somehow, and I need my parents to help, but they're not interested in my mental health, it seems.
I'm entirely new to this whole forum, and I stumbled across it when looking up symptoms of AvPD.
Anyways, I'll get right down to it.
For a long time I have thought there was something really wrong with me. I felt depressed and suicidal a lot of the time and I still do.
Now that I'm older, and getting through the school they put me in for people who have nowhere else to go, I will be finished next year. While this both scares the shit out of me and makes me glad I don't have to deal with it, I can't help but notice the fear is far greater than the relief.
I have to get a job, and so far I have been unable to work, even an easy job like looking after my cousin's baby made me extremely anxious, I cried.
I don't like admitting that I cry.
I think I am stupid, ugly, fat and unworthy of living, or breathing.
I assume others think so, too.
For years now I've wanted to have a relationship, but every time I have interest in someone I get rejected by them immediately. I just want to be held and have someone to wrap my arms around.
I really wish I had some help. I went to see a doctor, and he gave me something completely irrelevant to my mental health, and I feel hopeless now.
Knowing that I'm not alone has made it somewhat easier for me, but not really. I need support somehow, and I need my parents to help, but they're not interested in my mental health, it seems.
