New here Looking for advice

[Anonymous]

Hi all,iam new here so this is my first post.I have tried other sites looking for advice but all i basicaly get is the same answer "visit the doc" but thats one of my problems iam scared too.Iam scared to talk to him have to tell him everything about me i can just picture it now him sitting there looking at me thinking "what the hell is he talking about"

I have never been to a doc about social anxiety but iam sure i have it,i know that they are no substitute for a doc but i have done most online tests for it that i can find and they all come back more or less saying i have cause for concern.

Iam 22 year old male and the last time i went into a shop to buy clothes must have been about 10 years ago with my mum,now everything i can get online i do and anything i cant get online i ask other people to get me it from shops.The thought of shopping as most prob know is a scary worrying thought for me.

I have 2 questions i would like hepl/advice on,The first is what diffrence does medication make,personaly i cant see how it could help me go into a shop and but clothes? and secondly any advice or help on how to aproch/bring up the subject with the doctor.I was thinking of sending in a letter a the day before my appointment when i make one and let him read it so hes know most about me before i go in.

I could go on forever here about the problems i have with it but i know how boring those long posts can somtimes get 8O

Thanks inadvance foor any help and advice

Mark

 

[Anonymous]

Hi Mark and welcome to the forum.

Sorry you are going through such a rough time. It's the phobia/anxiety that is making you worry and concern yourself with meeting and telling a Dr. how you are suffering and it's not going to be as bad as you are anticipating! Don't waste your time writing a letter, I know from past experience that most Dr.s will not read them or they will just skim over them and they will still ask you what your problem(s) are regardless in case anything changed. The Dr. is going to make you comfortable! They will bring up the subject by saying something along the lines of: "What brings you here today?" Try to stop worrying, you will find out that all the worry, fear, and concern was NOT neccessary at all! You can easily tell them your problem(s) by admitting that you've known something was 'not normal' and you researched your symptoms and tested positive on a few online tests for SP/SA (agoraphobia?) and that you haven't shopped in ten years. That should pretty much sum it up for them!

The Dr. will decide if medications can help you, and if they are the right ones, they can help to give you some added courage, and help.. but they won't be a total cure, the biggest part(s) will still be up to you. Not knowing your exact chemistry, they may choose something that doesn't work for you at first.. so if it doesn't, it's important that you let them know! It could take quite a few tries until something works and feels comfortable for you.

Going to get help (Dr.) is the first step on the road to recovery, you'll feel good about yourself after taking that step, I promise!

Best wishes to you mark!

 

[Kaya]

Hi Mark. When I had to go to the doctor it was a really daunting thing. The first time I had a few drinks and went along and the doctor was very sympathectic, I managed to hold it together, although he did not do much to help me.
The second time was a few years later I went to another doctor, and I was a mess, I was very panicy, I cried, it was really horrible, but this time the doctor was very knowledgable about the condition and how to treat it and was absolutely wonderful at helping me.
If you are afraid that the doctor may be unsympathetic or unknowledgable then you could try contacting a support group for social phobia or related disorders in your area who can give you a recommendation on a good local doctor who has treated other people with the problem - then you will know he/she will know what you are talking about when you get there, and be aware of the right treatment for you.
As far as medication goes there are several different kinds that work differently. Some make you feel more relaxed and confident somewhat like alcohol, others work with the chemicals in your brain to make you feel less anxious.
Hope this helps somewhat.

 

[MrMr]

welcome.yes the advice on asking the local sa group for a referal to a gp that has treated sa is good.for me,i went to a different gp as i couldn't face my regular one,but it was still hard to do.to my surprise he understood and offered me cbt and some meds,which was great as this was what i had hoped for before going.he has been really understanding and supportive.put it this way u are faced with two options.one do nothing and stay as you are or go to the gp and open up new options.i would chooose the second every time,but it's hard,but so is living with this every day,a little pain a lot of gain.best of luck

 

[MrMr]

and remember,you will get a lot of support on this forum.it has helped me understand sa a lot and it's a good source of information.

 

[Scottish_Player]

Hi,thanks for the replys.

Normally when i post on some sites i get no or little response,i try not to take it personaly maybe its to do with the way i write my posts?


I realy wont to visit the doctor,i dont want to go on and on about it but it realy does worry me,i think one of the reasons is that it takes about 7 too 10 days to wait for you appointment so i have all that time to think and worry and then the day before i will convince myself that iam realy ok and its just in my head.Then once the appointment has passed without me going i will hate myself because i will be thinking i could have had it all over and done with by now.

Iam happy with my life in a way when iam in my comfort zone like my room sitting on this computer.I realy do want somthing to change and its frustrating watching people having a good time (on tv) cause all it does is remind me what i could be doing.Iam 22 and have never been to a party or in a pub how sad is that,its not that people dont want to know me its that i dont want to know people i dont feel comfortable around them.

Iam going to write down a list/letter just now to take to the doctor with me for when i eventualy do make an appointment,because i know once iam in there my mind will just go blank :?

I have only been in this group a since last nnight and already i can see its diffrent from normaly groups,it seems less formal and more relaxed 8)


Thanks again for the replys

 

[Parttimer]

You'll find that the doctor knows what SA is all about and will be sympathetic to you. Soon you'll be looking forward to your appointments because you'll be able to talk about your problems without the fear of being judged.

 

[Kaya]

I know it is hard, but tens days of apprehension and 15 minutes with a doctor is a small small price to pay for the freedom and relief and understanding that treatment can bring. I know that is so much easier to say in hindsight, but it took me getting to the point of suicide to really make me wake up and go see a doctor because the fear of killing myself was scarier than the doctor (I'm sure he'd be flattered to hear that ).
Write it down, make the appointment, if you need some encouragement or want to talk about your fears then come and post it here!

 

[Anonymous]

yes write it down and give it to the doc when he/she asks whats up.i didn't do this and it was real hard to talk to him at first,but once i knew he understood i found it easier to relax and talk to him.still it was one of the hardest things i've ever done,but it has been a real positive move.

i know exactly how your feeling.i used to have a small group of friends,but a few years ago nearly all of them moved away either to get married or for work.i then stopped going out at night,as i'm crap at socialising and can't make friends.so i spent every evening on the internet and most of the weekend.the only other things i did were work and walks.
it got worse and worse over the years and ended up at the point that if i went to a wedding or party,or even out at the weekend,i didn't know anyone (even though i knew their names and maybe made small talk),i never knew what to talk about or assert myself.i guess i developed avoidant disorder to go with my sa.it got so bad last year that i scheduled a holiday to see a friend,so that i would miss a wedding.weddings and parties that should be happy occasions,were a nightmare for me,as i felt like an outcast,no one wanted to be around me or talk to me.i can't really blame them,as i was probably depressed and wasn't able or really interested in holding conversation or having fun.i never relaxed and joined in the fun,i just couldn't let go,unless i was really drunk.so no wonder people were acting negatively towards me and avoiding me.i never went outside if i knew the neighbours were out,i crossed the road or turned back if i saw someone comming.i started to look up escort sites on the net,and got obsessed with this,trying to find a nice escort.i did but when i met her i realised it wasn't sex i was missing but love.so i decided i had to stop and put my life back on track.i destroyed all the links,stopped using my pc and started watching tv again,films and reading.it was hell and i was real depressed over xmas,with all the pressure to be social,i had developed this feeling that xmas was crap over the past few years.but now i'm glad i made this move,as i see some very small changes.i now have started to go out at the weekend,but i really have to motivate myself to do this,as i still have the feelings that some people hate me and i still find it real hard to hold conversations. some nights i'm ok if there are nice people there,but other are hell.but i'm trying to focus on little positives,rather than dwelling on the negatives that only make me depressed.i have started taking meds and am waiting for cbt.i know it will be hard and there will be set backs,but for once in my life i know that everyone can have a good life.i'm real glad that i asked for help,as i was a very independent person,never close to anyone and always worked problems out on my own,which i know now is not the best thing to do.it feels great to finally know that there is a name for this damn thing and that there is help out there.don't get me wrong,i still have bad days and weekends are hard,but i'm more determined than ever to make the most of my life.

btw the net is not bad,only when we become addicted or use it for the wrong reasons like i did to avoid my crap social life and escape the hurt and pain that went with it.i still use it today,but only at work and there's lots of good things on there,like this site.