I am the father of a 21 year old male, diagnosed with OCD when he was 7. Your feedback on two issues is appreciated. My son is not currently seeing a therapist or receiving any treatment, so my wife and I are right now on our own in figuring out how to be most helpful, or least hurtful.
My son has OCD compulsions regarding trash, touching things for a certain number of times, and others that only involve him (although loved ones are affected by these types of problems). He also has other types of what we think are compulsions that involve him giving instructions to others. For instance, he will ask my wife to make a series of movements and gestures, and when she misunderstands the specific instructions it starts all over again. Last night she stood quietly moving as he directed and redirected, for more than 20 minutes before he stopped his instructions and walked away. Another example: he may demand that mom and dad leave the house while he does something in the house, or that we not be in a specific room when he is doing something in another room in the house. He can be very insistant that we use certain words and not others. For instance, once he asked if I would do something and I said I would prefer not to. He persisted until I rephrased my response as yes or no.
I do not believe he is using alcohol or drugs and I don't think this is just an effort to hide things from us. It seems more related to trying to reduce anxieties.
I would like to know if people on this forum recognize these "other-directed" behaviors as OCD or not? If the insistance that others act in certain ways is part of an illness such as OCD, should they be accommodated or resisted?
My second question involves violence. If I resist those "complusions" that affect my freedom of choice or movement, or resist his instructions or behaviors towards my wife or me, he will occassionally escalate to very abusive and aggressive language, damage walls and other objects, hit or wrestle with me. Dealing with with this violence, which I interpret as rooted in a disease, is very challenging. But my question is whether others living with OCD have experienced volience coming from the frustration of not having a complusion satisfied? If so, how do you deal with it? What is the humane and helpful response?
Thanks,
MEH
My son has OCD compulsions regarding trash, touching things for a certain number of times, and others that only involve him (although loved ones are affected by these types of problems). He also has other types of what we think are compulsions that involve him giving instructions to others. For instance, he will ask my wife to make a series of movements and gestures, and when she misunderstands the specific instructions it starts all over again. Last night she stood quietly moving as he directed and redirected, for more than 20 minutes before he stopped his instructions and walked away. Another example: he may demand that mom and dad leave the house while he does something in the house, or that we not be in a specific room when he is doing something in another room in the house. He can be very insistant that we use certain words and not others. For instance, once he asked if I would do something and I said I would prefer not to. He persisted until I rephrased my response as yes or no.
I do not believe he is using alcohol or drugs and I don't think this is just an effort to hide things from us. It seems more related to trying to reduce anxieties.
I would like to know if people on this forum recognize these "other-directed" behaviors as OCD or not? If the insistance that others act in certain ways is part of an illness such as OCD, should they be accommodated or resisted?
My second question involves violence. If I resist those "complusions" that affect my freedom of choice or movement, or resist his instructions or behaviors towards my wife or me, he will occassionally escalate to very abusive and aggressive language, damage walls and other objects, hit or wrestle with me. Dealing with with this violence, which I interpret as rooted in a disease, is very challenging. But my question is whether others living with OCD have experienced volience coming from the frustration of not having a complusion satisfied? If so, how do you deal with it? What is the humane and helpful response?
Thanks,
MEH