OCD taking its toll...need some advice

[wasp]

Hi All,
This is my first time posting on here, so a bit about myself before I get to my question:
I don’t think I’ve ever been officially diagnosed with OCD, but I have no doubt in my mind that I have it. I was in therapy for a few months last year and my therapist simply agreed that I display symptoms of OCD…is that a diagnosis? I obsess about the cleanliness and neatness of everything around me. I think back to where I put things like my phone, purse, laptop, etc. throughout the day and won't touch those things without washing my hands afterwards if they touched something that I have deemed "dirty." Nothing that goes outside of my room can be put on the bed, I wash my hands to the point of damaging them, and I can't function normally during the day if I haven't made the bed in a certain way and brushed my teeth, washed my face, etc. in a certain order in the morning (the list goes on, but I’ll stop here for now). I recently moved to a new city where I hardly know anyone and I don’t know where to start looking for help. Though, I do have to admit that part of my reluctance to seek help in this city is my shyness…I know it will take me a long time to become comfortable enough to tell a new therapist anything tangible about myself. I’ve been procrastinating.

That being said, I guess my question for you all is: have any of you lessened the severity of your symptoms on your own? Are there any tricks you have to keep yourself from thinking about cleanliness/the bed being made or to stop yourself from washing your hands so often (which seems to be my biggest issue)? I know I should seek professional help, and I plan to in the future when I’m more comfortable with this city. But I'm also sort of looking for a quick-fix because I just moved in with my boyfriend of over 2 years and my OCD is taking its toll on our relationship (we had a huge fight last night). He’s had the patience of a saint, but my compulsions are starting to get in the way of both of us living a normal life. Any advice you have would be greatly appreciated.

 

[OCDavid]

I have been in your situation of being certain I had it but reluctant to get help. Sounds like you tried to get help in your previous city but your therapist wasn't knowledgeable enough to diagnose. It may be uncomfortable to tell a therapist but bear in mind that the personal hell you go through will continue until you do. Not only that but the risk of your behaviours ending your relationship. I don't regret the day I was diagnosed and put on medication. My life improved immediately.

 

[S_Spartan]

Wasp...I can relate to your story 100 percent! I also moved to a new city last year to be with my girlfriend and ever since my OCD has worsened. My main thing has been hand washing. I actually felt a little bit relieved reading your post because I've never heard anyone else describe exactly what I feel. That feeling that something is "dirty" and that you must wash your hands after touching it or you simply can't relax. I also have a bed thing where I need to feel that the bed is completely clean. This is hard when you are living with another person who does not have OCD because they don't understand what we are going through. So my girlfriend will go into the bedroom and put something "dirty" on the bed without even registering a thought about it. Then I'll feel like I have to wash the bedspread and the sheets. She doesn't do this on purpose but she doesn't have OCD and thus the object isn't "dirty" to her. It can be very stressful.
The only thing has been helping me is just trying to make myself think logically about it. I find that my OCD makes me think of things as either "clean" or "dirty". Night and day. Total opposites. Instead I'm trying to learn to think in degrees of dirtiness. So instead of thinking "this object is dirty, I've touched it and now I'm going to get sick and die," I try to think "this object may be dirty but it's only moderately dirty, not enough to make me get sick or die." It is OK afterall for things to be slightly dirty. Heck, there are people who live in absolute filth and they seem to get along alright! Just watch that "Hoarders" show!
I don't know if any of that that makes sense or not but it's something to try.
My girlfriend tries to understand my OCD, she even tries to connect the dots to figure out how I can think that something is "dirty" when it is not. But if you aren't an OCD sufferer then there is no way for you to understand what it feels like.
I hope things get better for you and your boyfriend.