Old friends

[Diend]

Anybody here have anxiety when catching up with old friends? Whenever winter or spring break comes around, I feel a little anxious because I don't know if we're that close anymore. Although some friends I can logically accept the status of our current relationship, but I get nervous when meeting childhood friends because I don't know how friendly I should be with them. So that leaves me acting cold and aloof towards them because I'm afraid they'll think I'm too friendly. Being that way may actually make the friendship worse. Any suggestions on how to deal with this?

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

I haven't 'caught up' with any old acquaintances in person but there have been a couple of times online where the 'catching up' conversation starts.

I have never really had any friendships before, so I don't have the same anxieties you might have; worrying if you're still friends anymore.
Any conversation will be awkward but I think the initial anxiety in the conversation will disappear after an awkward silence and some laughter.
It's probably awkward for everyone but if the person you're talking to is actually interested in how you're doing/what you're doing now- that should be a good thing, right? It means they care.
Even if you don't live down the street from eachother or hang out- they still care.
And that should really count for alot.

 

[AsTimeBurns]

Actually caught up with an old school friend today, hadn't seen him for about 2 years. Suppose I was a bit nervous that I wouldn't be able to think of things to say, but was pretty easy in the end, just talked like we used to.

I'd advise just trying to be yourself (yeah I know, but really that's what I'd suggest). Sorry I can't offer anything better.

 

[Nanita]

My relations with old friends, all ended in my early twenties. It´s definitely "over", and I just hope that I don´t run into any of those people, because I will freak out over the typical questions like "so what do you do for a living", etcetera.

 

[spring]

I advice to be friendly and warm,which is something I'm working on, myself.
I become very cold around my old friends to hide my shyness and vulnerability,which only makes things worse.
I fear that I might get rejected if I show them my feelings but I'm so fed up with my attitude that I'm changing it,so what if someone ignores me;i don't want to be like a stone for the rest of my life.

 

[1BlackSheep]

I have a high school reunion coming up this year and there's no way I'd go! I went to my first one and haven't been to one since. It's soooooo uncomfortable!

 

[OceanMist]

This is a big decision i have in my life. Whether I should establish ties again with my old friends. I'm not sure if I ever will or if I even want to. They hurt me in the past.

 

[Etbow23]

I've basically cut ties with all my old friends that I may have had, something I regret to this day. I can imagine that if I ever were to reunite with any of them, I would feel a lot of anxiety.

 

[Etbow23]

This is a big decision i have in my life. Whether I should establish ties again with my old friends. I'm not sure if I ever will or if I even want to. They hurt me in the past.

me too-I felt really judged by the ones i'm thinking of

 

[DragonFlight777]

Anybody here have anxiety when catching up with old friends? Whenever winter or spring break comes around, I feel a little anxious because I don't know if we're that close anymore. Although some friends I can logically accept the status of our current relationship, but I get nervous when meeting childhood friends because I don't know how friendly I should be with them. So that leaves me acting cold and aloof towards them because I'm afraid they'll think I'm too friendly. Being that way may actually make the friendship worse. Any suggestions on how to deal with this?

So what do you think would happen if you acted too friendly and realize that the other isn't so friendly anymore?

 

[OceanMist]

me too-I felt really judged by the ones i'm thinking of

I had multiple problems with my old friends.

Yes, they judged me in very rude ways, and then two of them stole my car and one stole my cell phone, and then three of them tried to fight me a couple times and hit me.

Then they were all drug addicts too. Some of them lie a lot. It's just this list of stuff that they did to be bad people and made themselves bad to hang around.

 

[twiggle]

I don't really have 'old friends' - they're either my current friends, or they're not my friends at all anymore, so I wouldn't arrange to meet with them.

I sometimes see people I used to be friends with and we usually just pretend not to see each other. Honestly speaking I don't think it's through any particular dislike of one another, just that neither of us cba with the small-talk.

 

[JonSP]

I hate seeing old friends that I've lost contact with, it feels so awkward and have no idea why!