Online friends.

[razzle dazzle rose]

I've met a few people in real life who I've met online. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. I actually traveled to Melbourne to meet some guy and we're still friends today.

Razzle, you can come and meet me anytime you like (even though it is quite a flight).

You should come visit meeee instead Though I would love to visit Australia, and meet you of course. I have never been anywhere. One day perhaps.

 

[MikeyC]

You should come visit meeee instead Though I would love to visit Australia, and meet you of course. I have never been anywhere. One day perhaps.

Honestly, if I could hop on a plane today and take an overseas trip, I would do it. Too bad I have no money or time!

Perhaps one day I'll fly to...wherever you are. That would be so cool.

 

[razzle dazzle rose]

Honestly, if I could hop on a plane today and take an overseas trip, I would do it. Too bad I have no money or time!

Perhaps one day I'll fly to...wherever you are. That would be so cool.

I am in California!

I have all the time...but no money. Ahhh If only we could teleport ourselves...

 

[da_illest101]

I don't think that actually meeting someone is a requirement for friendship, it's all about the connection (no pun intended)

for a relationship I found it was really hard to do

 

[Pookah]

I can form connections with people more easily sometimes online. Its more mental stimulation.

Some things can't be simulated here tho, like human touch and facial expressions/body language.

 

[coyote]

I can form connections with people more easily sometimes online. Its more mental stimulation.

Some things can't be simulated here tho, like human touch and facial expressions/body language.

true but at least we're spared things like halitosis and B.O.

 

[OceanMist]

It's a lot easier for me to communicate over a computer. Social norms and body language are usually absent online. So is voice tone. It's tougher for people to see my shy aura online, if they do at all.

Unfortunately, online isn't nearly as great as connecting with someone in the flesh. Human beings are programmed for in-person communication. Ha, i wish it wasn't that way. Can't change it though.

 

[vj288]

So I hope you can help me out. How to you see your online friends ?? would you like to meet them in person ??
Personally I would.

Lately I've been a semantics nut so I had to look up the definition of friend before replying, and came across this.

friend [frɛnd]
n
1. a person known well to another and regarded with liking, affection, and loyalty; an intimate
2. an acquaintance or associate

The second definition is easy, I would say I have lots of these online. The first is a little trickier.

The internet, for the most part, is purely verbal communication. By "verbal" I mean communicating through words, not interacting in any ways but. At least for me personally, I think there's a lot of non-verbal things involved in getting to know a person. I feel there are people I have almost never spoken to who know me better than some of you guys who I've communicated millions of words to online.

I can control what I say online, but control of my demeanor or facial expressions, or reactions to things, or the excitement in my voice are not as easy to control. I find this makes it more difficult to know people.

The next part of the definition, regarding with liking, affection, and loyalty, I do find I have in people from the internet. This is of course constricted without being able to feel I really know them. I do, to a point, hold these feelings toward people I know solely online.

So that is about how I see my online friends. I find there is a clear difference between them and any friends I've had off-line. I would be more comfortable saying I am friends with them in a specific setting, that setting being online. I know and like the part of them they are able to show through the internet, but I don't feel that's all of them.

I don't want to meet any of them offline like I want to see friends from high school over winter break. I don't think an online friendship directly correlates into an offline friendship. It would take a lot of meetings and a lot of patience on there part for me to even begin to feel comfortable around them. This goes back into why I would be more willing to call them friends in a specific setting. I may be willing to try someday though (it would be a push socially for me), it's not even an option for me now though, financially or socially.

 

[MikeyC]

I am in California!

I have all the time...but no money. Ahhh If only we could teleport ourselves...

Teleportation...in about 100 or so years, maybe!

I have neither time nor money at the moment, which kind of sucks. I'll go to America one day!

 

[anomicdeer]

I know what you mean and I have wanted to meet some of them in person.
Never did though of course.

 

[coyote]

...I find this makes it more difficult to know people....

i was thinking about this earlier today

i'm a pretty open person, and i strive to present myself online exactly how i am in real life

but i wonder if the people i interact with online know me the way people do in real life - or do they have a whole different notion of who i am and what i'm about?

i'm aware that a great many people present themselves as something different than who they are in real life - to many varying degrees

sometimes it's to protect themselves, sometimes it's with malice aforethought

mostly, i think people just want to communicate about a particular part of their life, so they don't reveal many other aspects that don't have to do with the topic they're discussing

i don't think there's anything wrong with that, because we do the same thing in real life - people i only know through work don't necessarily know that many details of my private life

but i often wonder if the people i'm getting to know online aren't really someone completely different, and they're simply presenting what it is they want me to see, or what they think I want to see

perhaps people do that to some degree in real life, too

but i think it's more difficult to get a good sense of the whole person online

[end stream of consciousness]

 

[vj288]

[Coyote's stream of consciousness]

Very well said. I agree in your thinking that people may display themselves off-line as some my do so online.

I still wonder though, if people did want to become closer, are they able to do so through a purely textual medium. Or are there some unspoken forms; glances, gestures, shiftiness, sighs - that are lost in translation.

How close we stand to someone while we talk signifies our relationship with them. When we shake our leg we can say we're nervous or anxious. We can smile when we're happy, and smile when we're sad, smile when we're frustrated, smile when we're excited, smile when we're seductive, smile when we're sly smile when we're sincere, and able know exactly what each smile means. Online we have one smile for them all.

Knowing these things are not all inherent traits, reading people offline is a skill, and one that we improve the more time we spend with a person.

Can we develop that sort of relationship online though? Maybe the same process can be done through textual cues, talking a certain way may signal certain thoughts or feelings. Or are these even important in knowing someone?

There's that middle, where people offline and on can both know each other to a point, and hide parts of themselves as well. As you move to the extremes though, it seems increasing difficult to know someone more fully in an internet setting, and in contrast hide yourself completely offline. It's difficult to know someone offline to begin with, the online setting adds more obstacles and slows the process.

I may be complicating this, things are usually simpler than I make them out to be.

 

[Dead_on_Arrival]

i'm a pretty open person, and i strive to present myself online exactly how i am in real life

but i wonder if the people i interact with online know me the way people do in real life - or do they have a whole different notion of who i am and what i'm about?

I have to say that I am definately more open online than in real life. I think the notion that you guys have of me is quite probably a better notion of how people see me in the physical world.

I have found it hard, and still do, to open up to people including family and friends. However, on here I have been able to bare my soul as it were, to a group of complete strangers, with whom I share a greater affinity than anyone I know out here. I think this is due to the compassionate nature of this place and the wonderful people that inhabit it.

 

[MrJones]

I have to say that I am definately more open online than in real life. I think the notion that you guys have of me is quite probably a better notion of how people see me in the physical world.

I have found it hard, and still do, to open up to people including family and friends. However, on here I have been able to bare my soul as it were, to a group of complete strangers, with whom I share a greater affinity than anyone I know out here. I think this is due to the compassionate nature of this place and the wonderful people that inhabit it.

Seriously, get out of my head! I could have written that XD

 

[KnuffleBunny]

I guess I'm different. I like people online but save for my long distance boyfriend, I would not purchase a very expensive plane ticket to go meet someone I met online. I don't have the money for that. Also I have questions as to whether the friendships I have are actual 'friendships' and I doubt that very much for most of them.

I suppose this makes me a bad friend or something, but if I feel like if I try to make a close connection with someone online there's no real guarantee in the end of real friendship. And if I won't make the plane trip, then what's the point.

 

[nosferatu]

I talk to two people online. I've known one for 2 years and the other for about a year. I don't know if I'd consider them friends, though. Mostly because I don't think they consider me a friend. How can they? I mean, I neglect them most of the time. Sometimes It'll take me days, weeks, or even months to get back to them. But it's not like I do it on purpose. I like them both. I think they are wonderful people, and I wish I had friends like them in real life.

The one I've known for 2 years might come to live near me for a bit, and We have talked about meeting up.

 

[jonas89]

I guess I'm different. I like people online but save for my long distance boyfriend, I would not purchase a very expensive plane ticket to go meet someone I met online. I don't have the money for that. Also I have questions as to whether the friendships I have are actual 'friendships' and I doubt that very much for most of them.

I suppose this makes me a bad friend or something, but if I feel like if I try to make a close connection with someone online there's no real guarantee in the end of real friendship. And if I won't make the plane trip, then what's the point.

No I don't think it makes you a bad friend, and of course there is nothing that guarantees that you'll ever see those individuals, but hey you newer know what the future beholds upon it sleeve

I talk to two people online. I've known one for 2 years and the other for about a year. I don't know if I'd consider them friends, though. Mostly because I don't think they consider me a friend. How can they? I mean, I neglect them most of the time. Sometimes It'll take me days, weeks, or even months to get back to them. But it's not like I do it on purpose. I like them both. I think they are wonderful people, and I wish I had friends like them in real life.

The one I've known for 2 years might come to live near me for a bit, and We have talked about meeting up.

sounds like a great opportunity

 

[Aletheia]

I think people drop their masks online.

Without bodies in the way, it's more like touching souls.