panic attacks when flirting

[dpow]

Every time I try to flirt with someone I make a complete fool of myself. There is a shopping mall near my house that I go to quite a bit. Two of the stores in the mall have cashiers that I really want to talk to. But every time I walk into their store my adrenalin starts pumping. By the time I get up to their register my face turns bright red, I start to studder, and I feel like I'm about to hyperventalate. I can usually manage to say "hi there" or "how are you doing" but if I try to go any further I start to have a panic attack. I've tried all the obvious solutions like deep breathing, positive thinking, and preparing ahead of time about what I want to say. Nothing seems to be working. Whenever I ask people what I should do they always tell me to make small talk until I am comfortable enough to ask the girl for her number. I wish it was that easy, but there is no way that I can do that without having a panic attack. I've been going in there every week for the last few months and the panic attacks are only getting stronger and stronger every time I try to make small talk. Does anybody have any advice about how I can overcome this problem?

 

[A86]

i feel your frustration. the fact that the feeling is getting stronger & stronger indicates to me that you are in fact edging youself closer each time to say something that will put you out there in the firing line.

usualy from there it will get to the point where you either start to redraw to calm youself, or take the finaly leap into the unknown.

i know 'everyone' says 'just talk' without fully understanding why it just isnt that simple. conversing is difficult, after all, even if you dont want to admit it, you want to impress.

i hope you do muster the strength to take the plunge into the deep end (a deeply admirable trait). unfortunately, i only know of 2 things that ease the anxiety.

1) time. time to know and feel more comfortable around the person. a challenge apon itself.

2) prescribed meds

thats just me though. hopefuly someone else here may know something better.

 

[mart22n]

Hi dpow,

Practice small talk with other strangers as well, for example, I sometimes do small talk at the bus stop. When you practice it a lot in a short time frame, you'll get comfortable. No big deal after that talking to a cashier as well!