People who put you down have their own faults

[J]

Overhearing my "charming" coworkers is always instructive. People who like to think of themselves as smart, witty, enlightened, sophisticated, etc. can often be as ignorant, dismissive and gullible-- or more so!-- than the people they look down upon.

One coworker was having yet another of her personal at-work phone conversations. During it she was describing someone who went on an outing with her and other folks and apparently had SA-- yet this coworker described this person as "socially inept," "just dumb," "somehow deficient," "doesn't have the decency to [talk to others]", and so on-- we all know the insults.

Strangely enough, this very person would probably be horrified at otherwise making fun of people with mental illness, owing to her 'sophisticated' self-image. Amusingly, during one of her other personal at-work conversations this morning, she was glowingly talking about a performance she saw recently by a psychic and how "accurate" his "readings" were. (Psychic "readings" of course are claptrap; parlor games gussied up with supernaturalism; any clever person can be trained to give 'psychic readings'--ESP or 'psi' is not required.)

Some people who will put you down in this life are people who are apparently blissfully ignorant of their own shortcomings, which people like us notice but are too polite (or anxious? ) to point out.

 

[Jesse]

You make a good point, but aren't you doing the same exact thing. Like you said she would be hurt by your comments the same way you were hurt by hers. Is it really her fault that she is unaware of the problems of SA? Jumping to these types of assumptions are exactly what I try to hope people arent doing around me.

 

[JoeRandomUser]

I think grumblina nailed it, actually; perhaps your co-worker "friend" could be feeling a little insecure herself. The "doesn't have the decency to [talk to others]" comment sounds to me like she felt a little put out or uncomfortable having the SA person around because she didn't know how to deal with the situation and it made HER feel nervous.

I can understand people not 'getting' SA or understanding the impact it has on a persons' life, but I think that anyone who would go out of their way to belittle somebody for having SA is covering up for their own insecurity. Denial is a very powerful tool, you know -- by making fun of others, she's effectively denying the problem exists (it's THEM dammit, not ME!) which is not uncommon. The schoolyard bully was more often than not the kid who felt very insecure himself; I have no reason to believe the office bully would be any different.

 

[Ensamniak]

I tend to agree and have a theory that bullies are somehow insecure theirselves, and pick on others to boost their own ego and self-confidence. (though this is somewhat common knowledge) That's why i've been wishing I could sue all of the bullies in my life for what they have done to me. (essentially caused my SP) Because I feel that somewhere they are probably doing well in life, seeing that they have boosted their egos while shattering mine. And the sad thing is that this is happening in schools and elsewhere, all day everyday and to this day. New SA sufferers are being created ever minute.

Though the problem with this can create hypocracy because it seems that we take a lesson from this bullying and are predisposed to become bullies ouselves. We must be careful not to let that happen.

And these bullies (whoever they may be) always seem to sniff out people with SA. It never fails that they will notice you and prey on you.

 

[Ensamniak]

True, not all have benefitted.

Great story of karma though.

 

[Yossarian]

Yet another perversity of my SP mind set. Anyone who would actually put me down, reject me, laugh maniacally at me in the street etc. For any of the reasons, whether trivial or not ,that my mulch which passes for a brain can think of is really someone who's opinion I couldn't give a shit for.

Unfortunately it has to happen before I don't care - urgh. Really, who cares how someones ties their shoe laces?.... ramble, ramble...

 

[wutnow]

described this person as "socially inept," "just dumb," "somehow deficient," "doesn't have the decency to [talk to others]", and so on-- we all know the insults.

I got a good one once: "anti-social son of a bitch." To the point, concise, with some historical reference and background, overall well done.

I also had someone speculate that I had just been released from prison, thus my social ineptitude and apparent son of a bitchedness .

People come up with some whacky sh:t 8) . Once a man walked past me at a bus stop, walked back in front of me, and then back the other direction and yelled out: "I know what you're doing!"

"You know what I'm doing? What am I doing? I'm waiting for the bus."

He got really flush and tense and went way to the other end of the platform. 8O The Hell? 8O I'm glad he did, he could have kicked my ass.

Hardcore Karma: from little 'playa/ thug', steal your food out of your fridge, sell your clothes, steal your weed, ladies man/ athlete to; quad, neck down at 17. Who knows if anyone ever visits the poor man. I haven't and that happend in '84. That's karma man, brutal karma.

I think the older you get, the more definitive the karma becomes. And maybe the less important it becomes. My best friend from age 7, jettisoned our friendship at high school. He went to college close by, but instructed his family not to let me know where he was. His brothers would laugh at me if I asked them to say 'hi' to him and for him to call me. Well, then, right, the poor man died in his mid 30's. No one told me. I missed the funeral. I still don't know what happened to him.

When I finally found out he had died, the person that told me was sort of indignant that I didn't attend the funeral, since it was known we were best friends at some point. I told her I didn't know.

Anyway, that's karma.

 

[Fighter86]

Well, I know this sounds curel, but I think all these people deserve it...for all the times that they built their own happiness on others misery(by bullying, teasing etc.). They never stop for a moment to think WHAT IF they were the victim...They just don't. & for that, they deserve what happened to them...



"The good will get rewarded but the bad will get retribution"