Popcorn

[Anonymous]

...cruelest task master. It's sucking your soul dry. You're feeding your body as fuel to it. Like an Aztec human sacrifice at the altar of pride. Whatever you are resisting being perceived as -- boring, lecherous, stupid, incompetent -- reorient your life to TRY to have people perceive you this way. Humiliate and humble yourself to kill that huge, man-devouring monster called pride.

 

[Remus]

whats that got to do with popcorn?

(hate the stuff)

 

[LilMissTragic]

I'm beginning to wonder if I have SP at all and not something else. I get anxious around people but I do not feel embarrassed if I do something wrong, I like confrontation and I can handle critism...maybe its just varying stages, I dont know.
er....Why is this thread called popcorn???...lol

 

[Anonymous]

I think this post has something to do with pride being the popcorn

 

[wistful_dementia]

maybe it depends on your definition of pride.

there is a fine line between self-respect and false pride I think. To a small degree, I think that it is ok to feel pride as long as it is a result of something which is productive towards yourself and especially society as a whole, but pride is harmful and false if it eats you up and allows you to feel humiliated by the opinions of others... like someone said- don't look for applause. If you are not looking for applause then it isn't going to hurt if someone doesn't approve of your actions or personality or whatever may cause you (unjust) shame or embarrasment.

 

[Anonymous]

yes, i really have think i have to much [b]pride[/b]!

yes, actually i have social phobia, but it may indeed have to do with too much pride/ ego. I alway thought deep inside me that i was better looking and smarter then anyone else. At least I wanted to be, and envy those who are better then me. Maybe thats what social phobia is. This EGO thing. Can you all concur that? i mean honestly! from your heart! I think all social phobics want to stand out too much and when they dont, they withdraw.

 

[wistful_dementia]

ego- isn't that the word that the sex obsessed, egoist freud came up with? I don't know- I agree self-obsession can have negative consequences and is dangerous.

do you ever notice how people try to solve problems by taking extreme? Is that always healthy? Isn't there a healthy medium, where you take care of your self-interests without becoming a total egoist? And isn't compassion and caring for others a good thing?


Standing out tooo much? Well, some of us would say that is our right and that society as a whole should be more tolerant. And others of us would say that they are just fine without being noticed and picked out of the crowd. To say we all are like that isn't really accurate, I don't think.

I must admit that I was like that in the past though. Although, not now.
But, unfortunately, there is a innate competition among most social creatures to be noticed. Especially when it comes to finding a mate. Maybe, it is wrong only if we go haywire and want attention too badly.- anywho, I still stand by the whole looking for applause thingy- I think that is a good philosophy to adopt- um, I mean not looking for it.

 

[applesewer]

I think anybody with SAD is automatically more humble than your average Joe. Having any kind of handicap will humble a person.

But, at the same time, for me, pride is still an issue. I hate arrogance in other people and yet I see it in myself and I hate that. This is really interesting though cause I never thought my ego might be connected to SAD. I remember thinking I was special back in primary school, way before I developed social problems, but I wonder if that was the reason they developed….because my ego began to grow!!!

p.s. I like that “don’t expect applause” thing too! I’ll bear that in mind in future.
p.p.s. I only found this forum a few days ago but everybody seems to be so intelligent and deep and complex. I wonder if that’s got anything to do with SAD too?!

 

[Anonymous]

im liking this thread. i dont think freud was responsible for the concept of ego. all the major religions discuss ego. its really very interesting to look at ego from a spiritual perspective....people blame many of the wars and bitterness....violence and corruption in the workld on religion or the lack of it..but actually ego is the problem...everybody feels that theyre at the centre of the world...they falsely identify with one religion or country...we are not these bodies we are spirit soul..to believe i am this body and to believe that i am the supreme controller in this universe is false ego.

Freud coined the term ego- meaning self. I guess selfishness and self-centeredness is what we are really talking about when refering to ego. Any-who, just saying that there is a healthy median when it comes to taking care of yourself and looking out for others you care for. Also, when we focus less on our own mysery and selves and more on others we suffer to a lesser degree. Of course that's harder to do when you are afraid of others and only have yourself. Oh well, guess that's where making yourself challenge your own fears regardless of the dangers comes in. Difficult, but not impossible. As far as religion and supernatural- I'm still not sold. I think man created religion to meet our psychological needs. I think we as a human race would do far better by elevating things like humanity, arts, and philosophy to a sacred level, rather than fooling ourselves into believe in the supernatural in order to find a sense of purpose and meaning.

 

[Anonymous]

....people blame many of the wars and bitterness....violence and corruption in the workld on religion or the lack of it..but actually ego is the problem...everybody feels that theyre at the centre of the world...they falsely identify with one religion or country...we are not these bodies we are spirit soul..to believe i am this body and to believe that i am the supreme controller in this universe is false ego.

Have to agree with you on the religious thingy- self-centeredness not necessarily the religions themselves allowed for the violence, corruption, and lack of humanity. But, also certain esoteric, self-centered, all incompassing, not yielding rules that are in certain religious text that doesn't take all of the human race into account.... I guess you can call that ego.

Still, false pride is dangerous and destructive (including self-destructive)as well.

SP- special people, I became very defensive when I first came to this site, because I wasn't sure if they meant special person as in 'handicapped' or gifted.

 

[MrHappy]

yeah pride is the enemy. i often think i have a big ego for someone whos sp....because i hate criticism...like i take it to heart...and i hate to look a fool or be thought a fool....but thats totally an ego thing...ive tried to be humble..i mean..its something i keep in mind..theres some cool tibetan buddhist sayings like ummm "dont expect applause" and stuff that kinda help.....

The above is an accurate description of me. Relieved I'm not the only one !

 

[Fredscars]

hmm.i would not say i have a false ego, for often i think so little of myself..but i cannot take critism or indeed advice.


i think it is not an 'inflated' ego that causes so many of these problems, but perhaps the desperation to apear to to be so superior that one has the reason to have an ego.

i have found, that people long to be proud of themselves, to have somehting that they can say 'look at me, because i am amazing' they long for that sort of attention. Ok maybe im generalizing here..but this is what ive seen and noticed. god knows it certainly describes me. As an SP sufferer, i struggle harder to recieve this attention because i fear to put myself out incase people look at me and go 'what a f**king t**t'..that would hurt me inconsolably.

But anyway, as i was saying..i do not believe it is the presence of an ego that causes such egotistic responses and problems, but the need for an appearance of this. For example i have a mate (also 15) who suffered from severe depression 2 years ago..after some councilling..and basically meeting her (now) bf she has managed to clear away trhe majority of the feelings. However, she is still relatively shy, but she puts forward this astonishing attitude, totally confident, uncaring and (to be honest) totally rude . it gets annoying and hurtful because she can insult and shout and scream..and whatever because she thinks she is amazing..or at least this is how she appears. as her 'close' mates however, we know her not to be this egotistic over confident person. it is nothing but a cloak to hide her fear.

 

[Anonymous]

What causes embarassment? -- when you imagine that another person perceives you in a way you wish you wouldn't be perceived.

If you discard all of your pride -- all the ways that you are trying to project an image of strength, confidence, etc. -- and give people permission to think negatively of you, you will recover from this emotional immaturity.

Confidence doesn't come from doing the right things, but from being totally comfortable with making mistakes and with being negatively perceived.

 

[applesewer]

Hmmm, that’s really interesting. Cause I’ve always seen it as the things I’m confident in are the things I’m good at. And cause I’m rubbish at socialising I lack confidence in that area. But, I think you’re right…if I could accept who I am, good points and bad, then I think that would bring confidence too.

So, now I’ve just gotta get rid of my pride! How the hell do I do that?

 

[Yossarian]

I don't think I'm an overtly proud man but what pride I have has been a source of strength for me.

I agree people should not be afraid of making mistakes for many reasons. Unfortunately phobias aren't rational. There's so much I think which I know is stupid, silly or plain wrong. It doesn't change anything.

Ho hum.