Anonymous
Well-known member
I recently moved from Los Angeles, California to Birmingham, Alabama within the USA. All the newness has put my anxiety out of control. Alabama is a beautiful state, but this sp does not allow me to enjoy myself anywhere. My husband and I moved here because he got a good employment oportunity. When ever I feel I am about to get better, I fall back into my sp. I started taking Paxil to help me out, but I guess I can not expect a magical cure out of any pill. Paxil has helped me some, but I still feel extremely anxious around people. Before taking Paxil, I was beginning to not even be able to step out of my room. Even my own sisters used to cause me sp. I was always able to manage keeping a job, but now I do not know how.
Now, I need to start looking for employment again and I am so afraid I may not be able to start all over again. There was no way I could transfer from the jobs that I left in California. My husband has been my only true friend, outside of my sisters, and married me regardless of my sp. But I feel that by not helping him financially, I will be letting him down. I know that once I get a job, little by little I will be able to handle it. Though, my problem is getting in the right door and not letting my sp get the best of me.
God! I sometimes do want to believe with all my soul that there is a God, but feel so hopeless and resentful in times like this. In times like this I want to ask God, why?, why me God?, why me? :x I just want to cry and scream.
Now, I need to start looking for employment again and I am so afraid I may not be able to start all over again. There was no way I could transfer from the jobs that I left in California. My husband has been my only true friend, outside of my sisters, and married me regardless of my sp. But I feel that by not helping him financially, I will be letting him down. I know that once I get a job, little by little I will be able to handle it. Though, my problem is getting in the right door and not letting my sp get the best of me.
God! I sometimes do want to believe with all my soul that there is a God, but feel so hopeless and resentful in times like this. In times like this I want to ask God, why?, why me God?, why me? :x I just want to cry and scream.