severely irritated

[Chilling_Echo]

ugggh i'm so ill. since i can't rant to anyone about this in the real world i'll just rant on here.

i get so frustrated because i'm in a serious relationship and i can't help but think that i hold my boyfriend back, even something as simple as i don't dance. because i won't, he won't and he knows he can't say anything be he understands what i go through but it still doesn't cover the fact that he's dissapointed.

he even mentioned that he probably wouldn't be able to dance with me at my wedding. and at this rate he's right. what's sad is that that one day that is supposedly "my day" and my spouse's day, i don't even want that attention. i'm sick of feeling like i have to make everyone else happy by dancing, singing, speaking up, what ever, just for their peace of mind - yet i know it bothers the one person that DOES matter to me, that i want to make happy.

 

[GettingThere]

Its a tired old cliche' but "love conquers all". Have you stopped to think that maybe your b/f is onto a good thing in you and that he is happy to take the bad with the good? It is frustrating though, the feeling of not being able to do all things freely.

 

[Anonymous]

aw ur bf sounds like a lovely guy and u sound like a lovely girl. i dread teh though of a wedding.i always say id run away to some tropical place and have a tiny wedding with a few very close friends and no family.its sad that we have this fear of something that is supposed to be the happiest time of your life. The only thing id say is if u really r worried, its a good incentive to get some help ie medicne and therapy.either that or just make sure you r a little but tipsy the whole time. i can do anything when im drunk........lol

 

[Chilling_Echo]

lol yeah, i've always told myself that i'd have to be pretty drugged up that day.

 

[Anonymous]

Hey Echo, I'm in the middle of planning my wedding...its a nightmare, I don't want the attention so there wont be many people at ours.
We have decided against a reception as theres no way I'm going to dance, make a speech or whatever either. Will there be many people at your wedding?. Anyways its your day and if you feel so scared about dancing in front of people then dont. Explain it to your bf, if he is as caring as you say to him surely he will understand. Or failing that, if you do dance just stay in close and keep your eyes shut.
Do ya ever get the feeling that getting married is just too much?...lol

 

[LilMissTragic]

That was me above, forgot to log in.

 

[Chilling_Echo]

actually, i'm merely a freshman in college so marriage is out of the question, for another 3 years or so, but we've been together for 2 and a half years and i know he's he one, i'm not afraid of getting married, just that one day. i can't wait to get married. if it weren't for college, i would. it's unfair, but really alot of the attention is on the bride and i don't want that! and i don't want to dissapoint him with no reception, it's just as much his wedding as it is mine. i think i'll just be on meds pretty good then and get through it.

i'm also deathly afraid of having a baby. only that's 9 months of continous attraction, not to mention giong into labor, all those people looking at my crotch?? doctors, nurses, my husband, his mom prolly, wtf??? i couldn't do that. as silly as it sounds it's true, i'd rather be around a bunch of strangers just because i wouldn't have to face them when it's over.

 

[Chilling_Echo]

also, congrats on getting married! (or being engaged, i guess you're not really married yet). when's the date? tell me how you're planning it.
as long as you have it the way you want it that's all you can do! i'm sure it will be a special day for you. any honey moon plans?

 

[Shadow]

If you're boyfriend loves you, he won't care about that. We all have faults and difficulties but we learn to live with those when we love one another.

Don't stress out about the future. In two years time you could be a completly different person and have no trouble dancing in front of other people. It may not seem possible now, but you never can know how things will change. It's not worth worrying about.