Sh*tting myself at the thought of College.

[VainCape]

Yep so I'm moving to the US to begin my undergrad program and the very thought of it is making my head spin :sad: That means socializing, socializing and more socializing. On top of that I will no longer enjoy the luxury of being holed up in my room, away from the outside world. F*ck me. mg:

/rant

 

[Lilly789]

I failed my first year of university because of exactly that

So I quit, and did it externally (correspondence / online / distance ed, whatever you want to call it), and have now have a few degrees and have "attended" some of the best uni's in the world.

Its ok now, but at the time it was pretty horrible, not just the social situation but failing because of it too.

You don't need to be on campus, there's more than one way to skin a cat, as they say. this isn't the 1980's anymore. I stupidly listened to other people at the time who didnt know any better.

If it works, great, but if not, dont worry too much, you can still do it other ways.

 

[ctguy30]

@vain, I US colleges are fun , open and accepting say verus high schools here. I wish I could go back as it is going to be the best years of your life if you let it be. There are people there like you who share things but you will never find them if you wall yourself in. Social Anxiety is like being scared over being cut open for a surgery or needles, and say a doc says to you " you had this illness for 5 years now, aren't you tired of it? Well to get rid of it I need to cut you open unless you want to die". So out being tired of it and afraid of death you reach down inside and want to be better than being worn out. So there's a sickness you reach inside to say I will put aside what I don't want to be done of to get rid of this burden. So reach down inside and say i'm down with this, I'm sick of this and it's time to step out of my shell and live life before it's gone. Especially college.

 

[alxbkr]

Step out of your comfort zone.
Go to orientation. If you have high social anxiety, orientation helps A LOT.
This is where everyone won't know each other and is your perfect opportunity to make some change in your life

 

[Earthcircle]

I experienced a lot of homophobic abuse in college, and when I sought help in the counseling center I was abused there too. I'm not sure what advice to give, although I would definitely avoid counseling if I had to do it over again. The sad fact is that many students, especially on the undergraduate level, are mainly there to socialize and judge people accordingly. Maybe if you can find a school that is extremely study oriented, but I don't think any of them are completely.

 

[Earthcircle]

@vain, I US colleges are fun , open and accepting say verus high schools here. I wish I could go back as it is going to be the best years of your life if you let it be. There are people there like you who share things but you will never find them if you wall yourself in. Social Anxiety is like being scared over being cut open for a surgery or needles, and say a doc says to you " you had this illness for 5 years now, aren't you tired of it? Well to get rid of it I need to cut you open unless you want to die". So out being tired of it and afraid of death you reach down inside and want to be better than being worn out. So there's a sickness you reach inside to say I will put aside what I don't want to be done of to get rid of this burden. So reach down inside and say i'm down with this, I'm sick of this and it's time to step out of my shell and live life before it's gone. Especially college.

I'm not sure that forcing oneself to socialize really cures avoidance (or treats avoidance, or whatever the right verb is). I have forced myself to socialize a lot, and I'm sure that the sum total of my socializing is much greater than many people who are half or 1/3 my age. And yet, I'm avoidant and many of them are not.

 

[Heremit]

Yep so I'm moving to the US to begin my undergrad program and the very thought of it is making my head spin :sad: That means socializing, socializing and more socializing. On top of that I will no longer enjoy the luxury of being holed up in my room, away from the outside world. F*ck me. mg:

/rant

The same thing of me, but I'm moving to England.

 

[Livemylife]

@vain, I US colleges are fun , open and accepting say verus high schools here. I wish I could go back as it is going to be the best years of your life if you let it be. There are people there like you who share things but you will never find them if you wall yourself in. Social Anxiety is like being scared over being cut open for a surgery or needles, and say a doc says to you " you had this illness for 5 years now, aren't you tired of it? Well to get rid of it I need to cut you open unless you want to die". So out being tired of it and afraid of death you reach down inside and want to be better than being worn out. So there's a sickness you reach inside to say I will put aside what I don't want to be done of to get rid of this burden. So reach down inside and say i'm down with this, I'm sick of this and it's time to step out of my shell and live life before it's gone. Especially college.

I disagree with this. Really disagree with it. It's stuff like this that made me think college would be a "blast." It has been utterly awful and where my social anxiety spiraled out of control. I feel like if I had had a heads up--instead of images from the media portraying college as the ultimate time--I wouldn't have gotten so down about it. And wasn't there a guy last month who went on a homicidal rampage because college didn't give him the "pleasure, sex, and fun" it was supposed to?

Remember you are at college to learn and possibly get a job in a certain field. Focus on your studies and don't beat yourself up about being social or a party animal. It's OK to stay in your room, but at least join a few clubs, because they might be fun. Join clubs that are about your interests. Good luck.

 

[Livemylife]

I experienced a lot of homophobic abuse in college, and when I sought help in the counseling center I was abused there too. I'm not sure what advice to give, although I would definitely avoid counseling if I had to do it over again. The sad fact is that many students, especially on the undergraduate level, are mainly there to socialize and judge people accordingly. Maybe if you can find a school that is extremely study oriented, but I don't think any of them are completely.

I've been mistreated by college "adults" as well...College "adults" can be really shallow. But why wouldn't they be, all they think about is who's hot and who to have sex with. I am really surprised there is an answer here saying colleges are fun and accepting. Maybe he's lying to make OP feel better...

 

[Earthcircle]

I've been mistreated by college "adults" as well...College "adults" can be really shallow. But why wouldn't they be, all they think about is who's hot and who to have sex with. I am really surprised there is an answer here saying colleges are fun and accepting. Maybe he's lying to make OP feel better...

Well I am a professor now. Lol. But I wasn't referring to faculty. I was referring to the less-than-competent ****s who end up working in university counseling, including psychiatry. What happened to me was really shocking, but at least I survived. Frankly, I think anyone entering college should keep their expectations low. One should not be in despair about it, because there are good things too. Sometimes, it is really interesting, and I would recommend going over not going. But if you expect to have fun on a regular basis, you could really just be setting yourself up for a big disappointment. Of course, you will have fun occasionally. It's not a prison camp.

 

[Odo]

@vain, I US colleges are fun , open and accepting say verus high schools here. I wish I could go back as it is going to be the best years of your life if you let it be. There are people there like you who share things but you will never find them if you wall yourself in. Social Anxiety is like being scared over being cut open for a surgery or needles, and say a doc says to you " you had this illness for 5 years now, aren't you tired of it? Well to get rid of it I need to cut you open unless you want to die". So out being tired of it and afraid of death you reach down inside and want to be better than being worn out. So there's a sickness you reach inside to say I will put aside what I don't want to be done of to get rid of this burden. So reach down inside and say i'm down with this, I'm sick of this and it's time to step out of my shell and live life before it's gone. Especially college.

How fun college is usually depends on whether or not you find people to spend your time with. If you're an outcast at college, and I have seen this happen, then it will not be fun for you.

And the best years of your life isn't something that applies universally to anyone. First year uni was pretty good for me but I've had a few good years and bad years since then.

It is what it is... there's no extra pressure to enjoy yourself more at whatever age than at other ages unless you're the most conventional person in the world.

 

[Livemylife]

Well I am a professor now. Lol. But I wasn't referring to faculty. I was referring to the less-than-competent ****s who end up working in university counseling, including psychiatry. What happened to me was really shocking, but at least I survived. Frankly, I think anyone entering college should keep their expectations low. One should not be in despair about it, because there are good things too. Sometimes, it is really interesting, and I would recommend going over not going. But if you expect to have fun on a regular basis, you could really just be setting yourself up for a big disappointment. Of course, you will have fun occasionally. It's not a prison camp.

I was referring to students. Most college students are 18 or over, thus adults. I think that is why people say college students will be more "mature" than high schoolers...This is simply not true. Hell that's the only honest media representation of college. The people who say this may be lying or delusional. College just isn't as constricting an environment as high school is, giving bullies in class less opportunity to bully you.

 

[Livemylife]

How fun college is usually depends on whether or not you find people to spend your time with. If you're an outcast at college, and I have seen this happen, then it will not be fun for you.

And the best years of your life isn't something that applies universally to anyone. First year uni was pretty good for me but I've had a few good years and bad years since then.

It is what it is... there's no extra pressure to enjoy yourself more at whatever age than at other ages unless you're the most conventional person in the world.

I wouldn't say there is "pressure" but posts like ctj30's echo what the media portrays college life to be. If this isn't true, how come a week ago a 22 year old man killed himself, others, and injure several others because college didn't give him the "pleasure, sex, and fun" it was "supposed" to give him?

 

[Earthcircle]

I was referring to students. Most college students are 18 or over, thus adults. I think that is why people say college students will be more "mature" than high schoolers...This is simply not true. Hell that's the only honest media representation of college. The people who say this may be lying or delusional. College just isn't as constricting an environment as high school is, giving bullies in class less opportunity to bully you.

I thought you were referring to problems with fellow students versus problems with faculty or the fountains of wisdom who make their money in the counseling centers.