Johnie
Well-known member
With the Christmas party season here, how do SAs feel about drinking?
It seems to me that the whole (99%) of socializing revolves around alcohol, and it's becoming even more the thing as time goes by.
Most people say that drinking lowers their inhibitions and makes them more sociable, but with me it seems to have the opposite effect. My SA seems to fight against the effects of becoming drunk, and it makes me even more dizzy and very, very much more remote than when I'm sober. I seem to retreat into a shell.
Sometimes when this happens, other people try to CHEER ME UP by plying me with EVEN MORE DRINKS. How misled can they be?
Even if I go all the way with drinking, to the point when I throw up, I do not go thru' a period when I enjoy it. I just feel compelled to leave the scene long before then, even if it means hiding in the men's room or talking all the way home.
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I have a family background regarding drink. My paternal grandfather was a serious drinker who was always in fights, being thrown out of pubs and coming home to beat up the missus and the kids. It followed from this that my father was very anti-drink; to the point of it being an obsession.
Like me, my parents never had friends or a social life, so I was just not introduced into socializing, parties, drinking, etc.
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Years ago I remember being invited to a "stag" night, before my sister got married. They felt obliged to ask me, and I felt I could not refuse. The only guy I knew in the group way my sister's boyfriend; and even him not much.
We went around to a local nightclub, about 15 of us, and we sat around a table right under the loudspeakers. The noise was so loud that the table was shaking and there were waves on the beers, and it was as hot as hell. Then we took the usual turns taking the tray to the bar to refill with beers; there was no way I could slow the pace much.
The other lads were going to and from the dance floor but I remained in my seat as usual. After an hour and a half with maybe 9 or 10 pints of beer I went to the toilet, and threw up. The bouncers gave me a mop and made me clean up the mess on the floor. Then I just sneaked off home, which was only 10 minutes walk away.
This episode in a way damaged me a bit, in the head. It left a permanent impression on me that I never really got over. Enjoyment? I would rather stick red-hot knives into my eyes!
---
In following years I managed to avoid any real drinking, tho' I would have a pint or two once a week when the lads went out from work at Friday lunchtime. They also held a night out at the end of each month when they went out on the booze, but I didn't go. I tried to suggest once that if they did something different occasionally, rather then go drinking, then I would go with them. Went down like a lead balloon!
Every year the company would have a Christmas Dinner, on the last afternoon before we closed down for the break. By this time I was one of the gaffers, so I felt I could not refuse.
In the early years I would try to keep up with all the boys, drinking in the bar before the meal, bottles of wine with the meal, a whisky or brandy to finish then back to the bar for a few more lagers. Then a bus would pick us all up, and a lot of the lads would go on into town to start over. I would go home at this point. I hated this, it just seemed that everyone else was having a good time save me.
After a few years of this I started to ease back on the drinking, and just eat as much as I felt like and leave the rest. (Eating in public is also a problem with me). This I found tolerable, just keeping a low profile. I also found that I preferred high concentration drinks (like whiskey) rather than beer or lager, which tended to bloat me up with liquid.
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I live in the NE of England, where it seems that drinking is the only thing, almost a machismo obligation. It seems than not drinking is not an option, if you want anything of a social life. Is it possible to change other people's attitudes to accommodate your own preferences? When the people you want to change are not even your friends (because I don't have any), and don't want to change themselves?
Johnie.
It seems to me that the whole (99%) of socializing revolves around alcohol, and it's becoming even more the thing as time goes by.
Most people say that drinking lowers their inhibitions and makes them more sociable, but with me it seems to have the opposite effect. My SA seems to fight against the effects of becoming drunk, and it makes me even more dizzy and very, very much more remote than when I'm sober. I seem to retreat into a shell.
Sometimes when this happens, other people try to CHEER ME UP by plying me with EVEN MORE DRINKS. How misled can they be?
Even if I go all the way with drinking, to the point when I throw up, I do not go thru' a period when I enjoy it. I just feel compelled to leave the scene long before then, even if it means hiding in the men's room or talking all the way home.
---
I have a family background regarding drink. My paternal grandfather was a serious drinker who was always in fights, being thrown out of pubs and coming home to beat up the missus and the kids. It followed from this that my father was very anti-drink; to the point of it being an obsession.
Like me, my parents never had friends or a social life, so I was just not introduced into socializing, parties, drinking, etc.
---
Years ago I remember being invited to a "stag" night, before my sister got married. They felt obliged to ask me, and I felt I could not refuse. The only guy I knew in the group way my sister's boyfriend; and even him not much.
We went around to a local nightclub, about 15 of us, and we sat around a table right under the loudspeakers. The noise was so loud that the table was shaking and there were waves on the beers, and it was as hot as hell. Then we took the usual turns taking the tray to the bar to refill with beers; there was no way I could slow the pace much.
The other lads were going to and from the dance floor but I remained in my seat as usual. After an hour and a half with maybe 9 or 10 pints of beer I went to the toilet, and threw up. The bouncers gave me a mop and made me clean up the mess on the floor. Then I just sneaked off home, which was only 10 minutes walk away.
This episode in a way damaged me a bit, in the head. It left a permanent impression on me that I never really got over. Enjoyment? I would rather stick red-hot knives into my eyes!
---
In following years I managed to avoid any real drinking, tho' I would have a pint or two once a week when the lads went out from work at Friday lunchtime. They also held a night out at the end of each month when they went out on the booze, but I didn't go. I tried to suggest once that if they did something different occasionally, rather then go drinking, then I would go with them. Went down like a lead balloon!
Every year the company would have a Christmas Dinner, on the last afternoon before we closed down for the break. By this time I was one of the gaffers, so I felt I could not refuse.
In the early years I would try to keep up with all the boys, drinking in the bar before the meal, bottles of wine with the meal, a whisky or brandy to finish then back to the bar for a few more lagers. Then a bus would pick us all up, and a lot of the lads would go on into town to start over. I would go home at this point. I hated this, it just seemed that everyone else was having a good time save me.
After a few years of this I started to ease back on the drinking, and just eat as much as I felt like and leave the rest. (Eating in public is also a problem with me). This I found tolerable, just keeping a low profile. I also found that I preferred high concentration drinks (like whiskey) rather than beer or lager, which tended to bloat me up with liquid.
---
I live in the NE of England, where it seems that drinking is the only thing, almost a machismo obligation. It seems than not drinking is not an option, if you want anything of a social life. Is it possible to change other people's attitudes to accommodate your own preferences? When the people you want to change are not even your friends (because I don't have any), and don't want to change themselves?
Johnie.