Someone I know had a very interesting theory.

[paul]

I have a friend (she's 15 and very religious, although her religion seems to be one of her own) and she's very easy to talk to (if a bit irritating sometimes :lol and when I was describing my fears, she came up with something very unusual.
She said that she thinks there are types of people in the world, like Givers, Followers, Leaders, Fighters, etc. But she said she thinks I am a "Default" -- somebody born just basic, with no real talents. She says that since I am a "Default", my lack of asset with talents and skills contributes to my feelings of inadequacy and social anxiety. She says that she thinks "Defaults" are kind of people who don't really have a preset goal or purpose, but instead form one with the passing of events in their life.

I do doubt this theory, but I just thought it would be interesting to share with you all.

 

[jenz]

luckily it just a theory....I don't lack in "talent" ...but my shyness even prevents me from sharing any of it....sometimes im too hard on myself.......my lack of social skills ...is what makes me feel "inadequate".....example; art classes( I ve made artwork that I had to describe infront of classmates....I could barely say anything..but there was so much to say) .....I ve learned most people talk about the same stupid things I think about or talk with (few people I do know)....its just that I can't control how my mind reacts to social situations...my mind and confidence issues is what affects me.

(grouping people into categories can't be possible people aren't just black or white )
Ive set up goals for myself ..some have come into fruition other havent'

You probably have at least one goal: to get over being shy/avpd/sad/sp...so that can be a motivator on its own.

And everyone has that dream goal in held deep in their subconscious...don't tell me it isn't true and everyday we try to emulate and live our lives close to that thought so that we can eventually reach it...doesn't matter what it is.

sometimes I loose sight of those goals easily when Im feeling down and thats when I let things happen on their own without my controling over them.

a "defult" imo is non-existant.

 

[redlady]

Oh dear - it seems your friend is all theory and no real knowledge. First of all i am glad to hear you don't pay her theory much mind. Secondly her definition of a 'default' defines us all my friend - we are all born 'basic' with no talents. You are not born with talents as such they are something you learn and develop after you are born whilst you are living your life. And one can only form goals and a sense of purpose with the passing of events in their life - therefore we are all 'defaults' - well according to your friend anyway.

 

[Atari]

Well obviously there are people who are born with natural talents, athletes for example. Not everything is learned, some things come naturally...

 

[redlady]

Yeah some people have a natural proclivity for certain things - but that is merely potential and potential is nothing without effort and development.

 

[black_mamba]

Yeah some people have a natural proclivity for certain things - but that is merely potential and potential is nothing without effort and development.

Exactly, talent is nothing without hard work, regardless of whether it was given at birth or not.

She said that she thinks there are types of people in the world, like Givers, Followers, Leaders, Fighters, etc. But she said she thinks I am a "Default"

Sounds like something from a teen magazine quiz; which type of person are you? Too much naivity in there for me: life is not as simple as that, like jenz said its not as distinct as black and white. Maybe my opinion of her being too naive is a little harsh, but her terms used; basic and lack of talents, well, thats insulting.

I myself don't even fit into the non-default roles your friend has pointed out. To survive, grow and be happy, I'm guessing a good mixture of all those traits would come in handy.

 

[paul]

I did think of that as kind of insulting haha, but she didn't MEAN to be insulting so I didn't take too much offense to it.

Just to clarify, I do not believe her theory, never really did. It does sound like something from a What Person Are You quiz (great reference), never really thought of that.

redlady - " And one can only form goals and a sense of purpose with the passing of events in their life "
That is very true...cant really think of anything else to say but that's true.

 

[4myself]

I really dont think that it is possible to have no talents, everyone is good at something.

 

[wutnow]

Toro do.

but then again, she's 15.

So,

free pass . I thought alot of wacky sh:t @ (15) too.

 

[Vincent]

(Am) I am (in) de(fault)

I agree with your friends theory, at least in the way that it applies to me.

Because I divide my conscious thoughts between self loathing, self pity and the three types of anxiety (anticiptory, during, post), as well as regrets etc. I have no avaliable time to think on what I like and then to find out whether I am good at it.

Therefore, although Im sure that I'm good at something, I don't know what, so I am default. Perhaps others among you have more prominant special qualities, or perhaps you are more accepting of yourself and social anxiety so that you find and maintain hobbies.

I like what Nick said about strengths. He said that we are very good at finding excuses to avoid socialising, putting ourselves down, comparing to others and making life near unbearable. I know that I'm good at those things.