The way i feel

[Anonymous]

Hi pepole, Well there is these horrible feelings i have, when im walking up the road on my own and there are cars on the road all in traffic where there stoped and im walking along and thinking there staring at me and im thinking am i waking funny or do i look weird or do they think im odd and stuff and i get really parionoid and my breathing gose all funny, i been like this since i was 15 as im 24 now. Also when i start new jobs as i have been in and out jobs, i think the same on like i said about pepole staring and stuff, i dread lunch times as i hate eating in front of pepole and i get where i think i dont talk right, so i go out side and have somthing to eat and after i had somthing to eat i would just smoke fags one after another just so pepole might think im just there having a smoke as i dont want to go and join the lunch crowd, it gets me down alot, i allways come home from work feeling rather stressed out. Im going to the doctors to go on the sick and im going to try and get help with how i feel.

Paul.

 

[Anonymous]

Hi Paul

Your not alone! I feel/react exactly the same ways you do. I'm not working at the present, but when I was, I did the same exact thing(s) that you are doing. I'm a female tho, and every day as I was getting ready to go to work, I'd be crying-- that's how much I hated it. Not only did I hate eating in front of everyone.. I didn't even like standing in line to get a drink or snack from the machines, reading a newspaper, or anything... so I would spend my entire breaks outside smoking as well. More than a few times I would get so stressed out just driving to work & thinking about facing people, etc.... that I would get sick in my stomach and need to turn around and go back home (because I couldn't face using the restroom at work or gas stations, etc.) You don't know how many times I thought ending my life would be better than going to work and everyday I walked in the building, I was praying to God to please get me out of there. He finally did too, and I am so grateful.

 

[Ewiger_Schlaf]

when im walking up the road on my own and there are cars on the road all in traffic where there stoped and im walking along and thinking there staring at me and im thinking am i waking funny or do i look weird

Same with me... The strange thing is, everytime I take a look at the drivers, they really do stare at me...

At work (well, I'm still in school actually) I'm not hungry anyway, so I just go outside to stand around and smoke, feeling like everybody else is observing me (of course, most of them pretend they're not even looking at me :wink: ).

 

[Anonymous]

I cant explain what a relief it is to find other people going through exactly the same thing I am..... I just came across this website a few days ago and have eagerly been reading away at everything you all have to say.... I just want to express my relief at finding you all and hope this will get easier and more manageable for all of us......... I too have been suicidal lately, obsessing over how my life is going nowhere and I cant seem to get things going the way I want, always running away from things..... I also get the "everyone is staring at me" thing. i chain smoke to avoid sitting around in a group at work, or take excessive trips to the bathroom, even when I dont have to go, just because I cant sit still... im sure evryone I work with thinks Ima freak, but Im starting to care less and less........ I need the money, and besides... fuck what they think really...
anyway, a big "whats up" to everyone here, its cool that we have peeps from the uk, aust, canada, nz, and the us all going through the same shit......... pretty incredible how similar we can all be...... anyway, just wanted to say hi, and I relate... thats it for now
peace

 

[Anonymous]

i know exatcly how u feel about the car thing. i absoolutely hate it when im walking home from college and i have to walk on this main road, where all these cars come. inside im thinking where to look and i usually stare hard straight ahaead, then my eyes water from not blinking. i really really hate it. BUt its seems like thats one thing that would be so hard to grow out of or get over, the constant thinking and being aware that we have sa. i find that having a walkman on the way to and from school really helps. u get lost thinking bout the music and less time spent worrying about how to walk, where to look , how stupid u look etc. with regards to the breathing i find it hard to, i walk fast and need to take a deep breathe but dont and cant and its bad

 

[MrMr]

i've noticed that this is quite a common problem for sa sufferers,be it thinking that people are staring,judging or acting negatively towards us.but if you think about it,most of these people have never seen us before (so why would they be staring) and are simply looking around as they wait in trafic or scan a room.how many times have we done the same thing ourselfs.we are viewing all these thing irationately,but we simply can't help it.the only way that we will get over this is to think more rationately about the situation.i think that cbt is our best hope at the minute,but i'm sure others may have other views on this.