Ome
Member
I've been in therapy with several psychologists since May 2012; although, the very first one wasn't very good at her job and she violated several "ethical rules" by trying to persuade me into her religion multiple times.
I initially started therapy because I had turned extremely aware of my body and any "symptoms" that might have indicated a horrible, horrible disease, especially some sort of cancer. A friend of mine died of brain cancer and it really carved into my mind for years, and I exploded in 2012.
To this day, I'm still paranoid about several diseases, but I guess it's a bit less severe. Still, I frequently wash my hands when I touch something I classify as "dirty". I have several bottles of ethyl alcohol in my room that I use to further "sanitize" my hands.
I am extremely self-conscious, with low self-esteem and I have lots of intrusive thoughts everyday, along with some weird impulses (like start screaming and moving my arms in my room for no reason). Sometimes, I wake up in the middle of the night thinking repeatedly of just 1 thing or subject, and it won't leave me alone until I fall asleep again or some time passes.
It's nothing new, really. My parents have told me that I got obsessed with several topics as a child (such as meteorology, football, cartoons, etc.) and suddenly, some day, they just disappeared and I moved onto another obsession.
I really don't like being around people. I feel that they all stare and judge. Also, most people I have regular contact with have little to nothing in common with me; I usually try isolate them and be alone, even though I'm not successful most of the time, as they try to talk to me and get me to solve their schoolwork (I have a high avg. score at school, that's why they probably approach me).
Panic attacks are not uncommon. Be them caused by imaginary diseases, stress in social situations, or the thoughts that wake me up late at night, I am usually disabled by a state of fear and frighten, thinking that there is something wrong with me mentally or physically. I am unable to work or focus when I'm having panic attacks, and this in turn causes me to think there is something wrong with my brain (physically), and it just makes the attack even worse.
I haven't asked my shrink for a diagnosis because I've only had 3 sessions with her so far (I got a new one recently, my old one got married and quit for some reason). I've researched my symptoms, but I still don't know if my speculations are right or not.
Do I have OCD or some sort of anxiety disorder? I'm really confused and desperate, I think I'm going to go insane one of these days.
I initially started therapy because I had turned extremely aware of my body and any "symptoms" that might have indicated a horrible, horrible disease, especially some sort of cancer. A friend of mine died of brain cancer and it really carved into my mind for years, and I exploded in 2012.
To this day, I'm still paranoid about several diseases, but I guess it's a bit less severe. Still, I frequently wash my hands when I touch something I classify as "dirty". I have several bottles of ethyl alcohol in my room that I use to further "sanitize" my hands.
I am extremely self-conscious, with low self-esteem and I have lots of intrusive thoughts everyday, along with some weird impulses (like start screaming and moving my arms in my room for no reason). Sometimes, I wake up in the middle of the night thinking repeatedly of just 1 thing or subject, and it won't leave me alone until I fall asleep again or some time passes.
It's nothing new, really. My parents have told me that I got obsessed with several topics as a child (such as meteorology, football, cartoons, etc.) and suddenly, some day, they just disappeared and I moved onto another obsession.
I really don't like being around people. I feel that they all stare and judge. Also, most people I have regular contact with have little to nothing in common with me; I usually try isolate them and be alone, even though I'm not successful most of the time, as they try to talk to me and get me to solve their schoolwork (I have a high avg. score at school, that's why they probably approach me).
Panic attacks are not uncommon. Be them caused by imaginary diseases, stress in social situations, or the thoughts that wake me up late at night, I am usually disabled by a state of fear and frighten, thinking that there is something wrong with me mentally or physically. I am unable to work or focus when I'm having panic attacks, and this in turn causes me to think there is something wrong with my brain (physically), and it just makes the attack even worse.
I haven't asked my shrink for a diagnosis because I've only had 3 sessions with her so far (I got a new one recently, my old one got married and quit for some reason). I've researched my symptoms, but I still don't know if my speculations are right or not.
Do I have OCD or some sort of anxiety disorder? I'm really confused and desperate, I think I'm going to go insane one of these days.
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