Xervello
Well-known member
I have absolutely no idea where to post this so I'm putting it here, sorry. So I've been to a couple of forums - a few poetry ones, a few dealing with loneliness/social problems - and notice quite a lot of people using them more as a means to network or hook up than for any kind of discussion or help. Not that that's inherently bad. Everyone has their own motives as to why they join a forum; as is their right. Though I'm curious as to people's experience here, being a newbie and all.
A few observations. At the couple of loneliness/social disorder sites I frequented, there were twice as many men than were women. In some cases three, four times that. And the male posts would outnumber the female's by four, five to one. With most of the men's going unreplied and ditched to the archives. Whereas the women's would have pages of comments. Which isn't the women's fault. This isn't a male vs. female thing. It just made me kind of sad seeing all these lonely, desperate men (I say that compassionately) flock to the women like that. Which isn't all that great for the women either. For starters, they get inundated with heaps of messages - a lot unwanted, a few of them creepy. They have a difficult time knowing whether what someone is posting is sincere or if some guy is just saying what he says to curry favor with her. And it can also breed jealousy among the other females.
But here's the most amusing. I've been to about four or five different poetry sites. Poetry sites typically have a more balanced membership. Males still tend to be the majority but the disparity isn't as great. I've posted poems, gotten my fair share of responses, yadda yadda. But at the most recent poetry forum (which had roughly the same amount of members as the others) I registered as a female. Used the same profile info but with a feminine avatar. And I posted the same poems that I posted at other sites. The result? Twice as many comments for all, lol. It might not be a fair comparison, but it was an interesting experiment nonetheless.
I know this might all sound petty, but the whole networking thing (particularly with guys) irks me a little. Because those numbers of posts can drown out the ones from those needing help or something more substantive. Again, I'm new here; I'm not casting aspersions at THIS place. Just curious as to people's experience with it, or if they think this is all just b.s.
A few observations. At the couple of loneliness/social disorder sites I frequented, there were twice as many men than were women. In some cases three, four times that. And the male posts would outnumber the female's by four, five to one. With most of the men's going unreplied and ditched to the archives. Whereas the women's would have pages of comments. Which isn't the women's fault. This isn't a male vs. female thing. It just made me kind of sad seeing all these lonely, desperate men (I say that compassionately) flock to the women like that. Which isn't all that great for the women either. For starters, they get inundated with heaps of messages - a lot unwanted, a few of them creepy. They have a difficult time knowing whether what someone is posting is sincere or if some guy is just saying what he says to curry favor with her. And it can also breed jealousy among the other females.
But here's the most amusing. I've been to about four or five different poetry sites. Poetry sites typically have a more balanced membership. Males still tend to be the majority but the disparity isn't as great. I've posted poems, gotten my fair share of responses, yadda yadda. But at the most recent poetry forum (which had roughly the same amount of members as the others) I registered as a female. Used the same profile info but with a feminine avatar. And I posted the same poems that I posted at other sites. The result? Twice as many comments for all, lol. It might not be a fair comparison, but it was an interesting experiment nonetheless.
I know this might all sound petty, but the whole networking thing (particularly with guys) irks me a little. Because those numbers of posts can drown out the ones from those needing help or something more substantive. Again, I'm new here; I'm not casting aspersions at THIS place. Just curious as to people's experience with it, or if they think this is all just b.s.