why dont they understand?

[deleteduser]

everytime my parents walk past me when im on this site they have a big go at me saying that im stupid and its all in my head and they're really nasty about it! even my sister who suffers from emetophobia tells me im weird!im not even allowed to mention it to my mum and dad because they will shout at me!

 

[tupac]

no one even knows about me, when someone comes in and im on this site i just close it. most people wouldnt understand the condition were in. if you tell normal people they would probably say something like "what your scared of people?" i can get that they dont understand it,but really they shouldnt be negative towards you. i dont even speak to my family unless i need to, its been like that for a long time now. they just think im strange and somethings wrong with. they even suspect me of abusing drugs, partly becaus ethey found a lighter and rollies in my room. but weed is all natural. god put it in the earth for me to smoke it, at least thats how i feel about it

 

[Angie_05]

Im sorry to hear that your family is so negative towards you. You did not choose to be like this. My boyfriend sorta rolls his eyes when I talk about SA or I'm at this site. I don't think we can ever change people's understanding of this. Even if they have no idea what it's like, they could understand if they tried. But they don't try. It may just be a way for your family to boost themselves up. Maybe they have insecurities of their own and they are happy to point out other people's shortcomings as well.

 

[Scottish_Player]

they even suspect me of abusing drugs

that the same for me,a few people i know including my parents think i am on some kinda hard drugs,dont realy know why? maybe its just cause the way i act and look :roll:

 

[maggie]

i have never told anyone either, i don't think any of my family or friends would understand...everyone else in my family is outgoing..i have always been the quiet, different one of the bunch...and noone really knows who i really am deep down...

 

[Meatwad]

My mom used to be kind of like that when I first found out about it (about 5 years ago). A lot of times, parents might think its like an excuse. Like if I don't want to go to a family party, I would use "Social Anxiety Disorder" as an excuse. But they don't understand that it is not just shyness, but much more extreme

 

[zyxockjm]

It's the exact same in my family.....no one understands what it means to be so fearful of nothing. I try to explain to others sometimes that I feel so paranoid sometimes of nothing and they have no idea what I'm talking about. They think I'm just being shy or something.

 

[deleteduser]

i know what you mean about the family occasions and all that, i try to avoid them every christmas and birthdays etc.
the thing is all of my aunties and uncles are really loud and have a big questionaire ready for you when you arrive, and i dont mean to be nasty when i say this but id actually rather not know them, i hate them!
they ring me every year on my birthday and ask me loads of questions and even sing down the phone! im not a phone person, its like speeches my chest goes all tight and my hearts coming out of my chest, cos i know everyone in the house can hear me! im such a freak!

 

[maggie]

hanny-i'm the same with the phone thing...i don't know why, cause the phone should be easy for me...i don't get it :x ...but i have to really psyche myself up to make any stupid phone call....and i won't talk on the phone in front of others 8O ...i get all breathless and quiet and don't know what to say half the time...

 

[Tim001]

Unfortunately in the "real" world of the so called "normal" people, something like SA is not taken seriously enough even by our own families. It is regarded as more of a personality weakness or maybe a phase you're going through, rather than a real condition. Mental health is often ignored because there are no obvious symptoms many times. It is easy to dismiss something like SA as non-sense, compared to "real" diseases like cancer and such.

A so-called friend of mine, who I confided in about my SA years ago, gave me the following advice: "Stop being such a wuss, get a set of balls and stop being so damn sensitive". Really... :?

 

[Angie_05]

Unfortunately in the "real" world of the so called "normal" people, something like SA is not taken seriously enough even by our own families. It is regarded as more of a personality weakness or maybe a phase you're going through, rather than a real condition. Mental health is often ignored because there are no obvious symptoms many times. It is easy to dismiss something like SA as non-sense, compared to "real" diseases like cancer and such.

A so-called friend of mine, who I confided in about my SA years ago, gave me the following advice: "Stop being such a wuss, get a set of balls and stop being so damn sensitive". Really... :?

Ignorance...that's why they don't understand. They don't attempt to understand. I am studying to be a psychologist...not a medical doctor. I think it is important to help people who are physically sick, but what about the healthy people who have psychological conditions? It is just as painful and wrong to let it go. They must keep on living, unlike some people with cancer, so why are they not allowed to live a normal life?

 

[Ensamniak]

I wanted to suggest the possible stigmatism that surrounds mental health problems. It seems some people are afraid of that stigmatism that goes with a "label". As my family seems to be. When I first started going to the psychiatrist, my family members would say things such as that... like "nah there's nothing wrong with you". I didn't know what disorder I had, but I knew I had one. Even my grandmother says the same things, and she has a degree in social service, and knows the details of all the disorders. She just doesn't want me labelled I think.

 

[Fighter86]

Yeah, I agree with ALL of you. When I had this condition, I didn't wanna tell any1 coz they would think I was paranoid or something like that. But well, I got to the stage where I simply skip nearly all my lessons, didn't dare to go to school & had no choice but to tell my parents. It created quite an uproar. My mother was like- she goes to school, others also go..just exactly what is her problem? My father thinks that I am making up all these because I simply don want to go to school. In fact, till today, he doesn't know I am seeking help from a therapist...

 

[IcanDoIt]

i think no one understands actually..

i got all those warning letters and often lied about not going to school..

my dad found about it one day and boy what a scolding i got..

i hinted about some mental disorder thingy, and he thought it was utter rubbish..

"one more nonsense and im going to take u off the school!"

i was pissed, not because he scolded me, but he refused to understand..

my mom found about it too, and i told her about mental disorder, she just told me there is no such thing..i was like :!:

but she is so understanding and told me it was just teen angst that i was experiencing, she did not scold me whatsoever and gave all her support..

she was partly the reason i improved.. :wink:

 

[Fighter86]

A lot of times, parents might think its like an excuse. Like if I don't want to go to a family party, I would use "Social Anxiety Disorder" as an excuse. But they don't understand that it is not just shyness, but much more extreme

Same for me. When I refused to go to school(due to SA), they think that I was making all this crap up & being a drama queen about my fearing school... :roll:

 

[Fighter86]

Well, I am now at my 3rd school & its only the 3rd week & I have taken quite a few MCs. I think the teachers r starting to wonder, 'just where the hack is this girl?'. But I simply couldn't turn up. I mean I couldn't even sit through a lecture, more less give speeches & presentations(which I found out that my course has in plentiful )

I have juz spoken to my class advisor & its been decided that she will talk to the deputy director & I will most likely get a deferment or have to withdraw from school. I haven told my parents about this yet but r they sooo going to kill me!!!!! This is the 3rd time that it is happening.. :roll:

Teach me what to do.....

 

[IcanDoIt]

Noo..!

i once poured my sorrows to the deputy director and he said the best thing i could do was to meet the school counsellor..

seriously, the school counsellor will surely help you, in terms of relieving that stres you are facing, or maybe try their very best to let you adjust in the school. they will help.

the school will not leave you in the lurch, unless you keep mum about it..

my liaison officer, the deputy director of my course who was in charge of me when i was doing my internship nearly failed me as i was performing below average..

i cried to him and told about my disorder..

he investigated, researched, about what i did in the attachment company, and in the end i did not fail, but got a B+...i was so glad..

 

[Fighter86]

My BIG problem is this now: my advisor just contacted me: Either 1 of my parents HAVE to go down to school to see the deputy director next week!!!

& well, how am I going to tell my parents why don't I dare to go to school?
The other time I told them, it was a DISASTER...

They are going to kill me....PLEASE help me

 

[IcanDoIt]

hmm...

i see, so counsellor = advisor..

i thought advisor = :?: initially

okeh..

actually its good that you dont deny the forces that is working against you..

if you feel you cannot go to school, then you dont go..

that is kind of good because it feels much better this way..thus less depressive effect = less thought of dying etc..

academic wise, you suffer..

but i see that you are able to go to the doc, that means your disorder is not that bad..

i wasnt..until one day i said enough was enough, i did not care whether i exploded in the clinic wahtsoever..

so set a goal..see youself completing this course, what do you see in future..

think, if someone who has a much worse SA than you has been able to complete the course, why cant you?

it is always good to challenge the mind like that..

so my advise to you is, if you really dont want to upset anyone any longer, just stay on with the course, no matter what happens, go slow and steady, and you will complete the course..

and while completing the course, do lots and lots of things about your SA, research, techniques, etc, that might reduce the effect of SA..

it took me nearly 3 years to really find the answers, and to be where i am today, although i am a bit shy, i must admit..

think again, if you are going to take mc, leave school, take mc and leave school again, where would you be inyears time, perhaps 10 years?

ok, probably if you are rich, it might help heaps..

but for me, i would think how i would survive to find work, to take care of my parents when they are old, to go to Uni overseas, if i dont take care of my SA from now..

so, take charge of your life, set a written goal whatever..

remember, i have to overcome that persisting depression, before SA, and that was doubly hard.. :wink:

 

[Fighter86]

Umm, advisor means my class tutor, the 1 in charge of my class...

& thanks icandoit, you offer really good advise :lol:

Yeah, wat u said is true I cant take MCs all my life, that's what my therapist said as well, I have to face my fear...She will be so dissapointed to know how far back I have backslided in just 1 week(I will be seeing her tomorrow).

But I just can't

I am sorry but I simply cannot

but wat u said did keep me thinking...I think I will reconsider my options again & I have to do it fast...