Throwing large amounts of clothing away-HELP! Getting expensive!

katlac32

Member
I have had a serious issue with laundry since going back to July--it has really consumed my life horribly and I'm not sure what to do about it. I won't go into all of the specifics, but I have a new worry over the past few weeks and I just wanted to see if anyone has dealt with this or what you think of this! The other day I saw a piece of plastic tape with white stuck to it at the bottom of the washing machine basin after I had pulled the just laundered clothes out. I don't like when I don't know what something is--I didn't think it had come off my daughter or my clothes, so I was concerned it came from my husbands clothes (which were washed previously). I have a huge problem with my husband, he does a lot of dirty jobs and his clothes are filthy, he also works on things like tractors and uses a lot of equipment, so I wasn't sure if he had a piece of packing in his pocket that somehow got left behind, and then ended up in our load. I was so worried I threw everything in our load out. It was almost all of my daughter and my pajamas and pajama tops. I went out the next morning and replaced everything and washed them--spent about $150 on new stuff, bought inexpensive stuff on purpose because I throw so many clothes away anymore for things like this. So we had only been through these new clothes for a week, and then something happened again last night. When I was hanging up my clothes to dry with clothespins (I won't use our dryer because I feel it is contamined after my husband clothes go through them)--I noticed there was already a plastic clothespin attached to one of the pairs of pants. Its possible that I started to put it on and got distracted by something, but usually I am very aware of what I am doing. My concern is that this clothespin was somehow on it already and went through the wash and then I am worried with the chemicals on the clothespin and how that might have contaminated the whole load of laundry. It is very possible that the clothespin was on there--because I had that pair of pants hung up in the last couple of days, then it fell down on the floor, so I had to put it in the hamper to wash. It's possible the clothespin stayed attached. Now I am freaking out and want to go repurchase all of the pajamas again, now I am looking at another $150 to spend. That is $300 on new pajamas and tops in the last week. That is crazy to me! I rewashed the clothes after I noticed what happened, but I can not bring myself to wear them. Does anyone understand? I am not trying to be funny. This is really bothering me. I would say my anxiety was at a 10 after it happened, and I kind of let them sit overnight thinking maybe I wouldn't be as worried today, but I am still at 10 and do not feel comfortable at all wearing the clothes. I want to replace them so badly. My husband would freak out if he knew how much money I spent on rebuying things. I feel like if I wore the clothes then that would be a huge exposure for me and probably help me out in the long run, but I just don't want to take the chance. I have a huge problem with things going through the laundry--I once threw out a load of clothes too because an iPod charger went through with it. Someone help! Thanks in advance!
 

dottie

Well-known member
1. are you getting professional help? this is over-the-top, highly dysfunctional, irrational, unrealistic thinking and behavior.

I feel like if I wore the clothes then that would be a huge exposure for me and probably help me out in the long run

YES. and in the process you need to use self-talk and talk yourself rationally out of these thoughts. do not feed these irrational emotions. use rational logic.

but I just don't want to take the chance.

chance of what? there is nothing to contaminate you. laundry washes everything away. the dryer is not contaminated when you put clean clothes in it. the dryer gets so hot that it denatures everything in there, like boiling it - it cannot contaminate you.
 

katlac32

Member
No, I am not currently getting help. I was under the care of a therapist a couple of years ago for marriage problems and what was considered moderate OCD at that point. My OCD is now disabling, my therapist was no help--didn't understand anything about OCD, almost seemed like he just liked to hear my stories...I don't know though. The OCD is so bad I don't even know how to live with it anymore. By taking a chance I mean--what if there is a chemical on there that contaminated the rest of the laundry, and then my daughter and I wear those clothes--chemicals are a huge source of anxiety for me, and possible carcinogens. I just feel really hopeless sometimes.
 

katlac32

Member
Also, I do realize that plastic does go through the wash...in fact many of my shirts have plastic buttons, but for some reason this doesn't bother me, because it is part of the clothes. I guess that is the problem though, OCD is the fear of the unknown. I don't even know how to do self talk anymore. I've been trying to convince myself it is okay ever since it happened, and I go back and forth, but ultimately I just don't like the feeling. I can't be okay with the feeling.
 

dottie

Well-known member
keep looking for a psychologist and ask them what their background is with anxiety. not all psychologists are the same. bad ones are passive listeners. you need one that is proactive, one that expects work from you.
 
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