Tired of being a doormat

beachbum

Member
I hate people that take advantage of me just because I'm the quiet girl. I try to avoid confrontation at all costs, because I'm afraid to speak what's on my mind. I work in a hairsalon and it's a very competitive business. For example, tonight at work it was my turn to take the next customer that walked in, and my stupid b?!*& coworker stole my customer!! :oops: I was so pissed! The other girl that worked tonight with us said she does that s$!# to me because she thinks I'm stupid. Well, I called the manager on her a**and she's going to wright her up. This is her second time to be written up, and the third time that's it she'll be fired! I'm just mad at myself because I did not confront her about what she did, because I was too afraid to say anything.
The other thing I can't understand is just because I'm quieter than most people dosen't mean that I'm stupid as well. I just hate always being the one who gets walked all over. Does anyone have any advice on how to stand up to people like this?
 

decadeOfSA

Well-known member
Luckily I have no problem speaking my mind. I probably do it too much really even though I still have SA. Just try and do it. You can. People assume things all the time. Quiet does not equal stupid. Tell that to that bitch. Good luck.
 

decadeOfSA

Well-known member
Once you assert yourself, you'll see it will pay off and people won't take advantage of you anymore. Then you will be much better off and you will be more confident and willing to assert yourself more. I really don't know why I have social anxiety. I usually don't give a fuck what people think. Those are my conscious thoughts anyway, but my body is conditioned to be nervous for some reason.
 

Jack-B

Well-known member
Beachbum,

I'd be your customer but i have no hair as i have shaved it off : - )

But what i will say is that confrontation induces anxiety in our mind and its this state of mind that we wish to avoid, not other people. Anxiety arises in confrontations because we feel threatened, it can be quite stressful.

Other people dont see the world the same way because their minds perceive things differently. They dont see us or things the same way so we feel threatened - it induces that 'i am right and you are wrong' attitude. For both parties what they see is true for them and so they relate to that, this causes conflict.

Reducing anxiety in confrontations is learning to see from the other side of reality, changing our attitude to adapt to the other persons way of thinking and seeing their world. What happens then is quite extraordinary because we lose that tight grip on how we see things and open into a more realistic way of viewing the situation. Our anxiety of holding our own position dissappears. We find solutions, heal relationships and better connect to other people.

I wish you love,

Jack


So in summary
 

dying_days

Member
This lady, whoever she thinks she is, is the one that is truly stupid indeed. To have the nerve to do that to you, just goes to show you what kind of a inconsiderate and immature idiot she is. We quiet people sure do have to put up with alot of BS, don't we? And I certainely have had more than my share of BS. If I were you, i'd get up the courage to say something, anything, because as long as you don't say anything, she will keep on thinking that you are easy game. She deserves to be put in her place. Bitch.
 

maggie

Well-known member
beachbum said:
I hate people that take advantage of me just because I'm the quiet girl. I try to avoid confrontation at all costs, because I'm afraid to speak what's on my mind. I work in a hairsalon and it's a very competitive business. For example, tonight at work it was my turn to take the next customer that walked in, and my stupid b?!*& coworker stole my customer!! :oops: I was so pissed! The other girl that worked tonight with us said she does that s$!# to me because she thinks I'm stupid. Well, I called the manager on her a**and she's going to wright her up. This is her second time to be written up, and the third time that's it she'll be fired! I'm just mad at myself because I did not confront her about what she did, because I was too afraid to say anything.
The other thing I can't understand is just because I'm quieter than most people dosen't mean that I'm stupid as well. I just hate always being the one who gets walked all over. Does anyone have any advice on how to stand up to people like this?
you sound a lot like me beachbum...and i agree, just because we're quiet, doesn't mean we are not intelligent, or that we don't have a valid point of view to offer :wink:
 
Top