Totally upset about a stranger getting mad at me.

I didn't had such a nice day today. I had a migraine-attack this night/morning but that went better after some time, so I decided to go get some groceries. I was riding on my bike and the headache was not that intens, but I was a little dizzy and not really focused.
I was just wandering of in my head so I didn't see a car comming from the right. We nearly hit each other and we both could stop just in time, but I immediately got into a state of panic. I don't think it was like, really my fault, but I should have been more focused ofcourse.

In the car was an old lady, and I was so in panic that I couldn't move. I felt terrible. She came out of the car and looked very angry. 'How can you drive like that?' She yelled. 'what do you thing you are doing?' she kept talking and talking. I didn't know what to do and just said I was sorry over and over again.
'you could kill someone with that behavior,' she said, 'im 84, I could have got a heart attack. That whould be your fault then.'
I don't know why but I started crying at that moment. I just repeated how incredibly sorry I was. I felt so ashamed and horrible. She asked if there was any damage on the car and luckily there wasn't.

After this I cried for half an hour. I was so in panic. I felt so horrible and bad.

I keep thinking about he fact that she could have had an heart attack and how I whould have killed somebody. I feel like an horrible person. I know she has a right to be mad but I felt so scared.

I also feel verry embarrassed about this. I hate it to cry about stupid things in front of people I don't know. I just know she things bad about me and that is killing me. The idea that she might go to her husband and tell about this crying rude person who nearly gave her a heart attack is just killing me.

I just can't stop thinking about it. my emotions are literally al over the place. I know I probably make things bigger than they really are but I can't really help it.

Just needed to get this of my chest. Thank you for reading.

If I were that lady I would probably go home and realize that I was mean enough to yell at someone who was already apologizing until I made them cry! How mean! Not only that, but if she is so old that she is concerned she may have a heart attack from driving a vehicle, she should surrender her license and take a cab because that is a dangerous situation.
Also, if it was partially her fault (like you said, you didn't think it was all your fault) perhaps she was using you as a scapegoat in her mind to justify her driving, especially at her old age, or maybe she has always been like that thinking it's always someone else's fault.
Try not to let her get to you. Try to just put it out of your mind.
Next time don't even stop. If there wasn't a collision you probably had no need to even stop, in fact, with all the road rage stories I have read recently, it's probably safer not to. My husband had a near collision the other day (due to a car speeding up at the last minute) and he really ticked off a guy when he had to cross a foot into his lane. This man was so mad he whipped around and followed my husband for a mile or two. Finally my husband just started heading for the police station (a safe place where you would have protection) but when the guy saw that is where he was heading, he took off. Don't try to deal with people on your own, there are some nuts out there!
Hope your migraine is better!

jellzzz said:

I just can't stop thinking about it. my emotions are literally al over the place. I know I probably make things bigger than they really are but I can't really help it.

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definitely, she was just a very rude person, don't bother too much, there are a lot's of those on the street, I take the car every morning in the traffic and I see so much of those... if it's your fault (and no one get's hurt of course) just apologize and then try to ignore them.

Okay, it just happened to me (got upset over a near stranger's comments) on Facebook. Mine wasn't even as serious as yours, and I started having a panic attack. It is more than frustrating that I am so weak . Oh, I wish things could be different for us all. I just want to be normal. I don't want to hate people, I really don't, but in all honesty the joy of socializing left me a long time ago. I can only tolerate my husband and kids at this point. Horrible.
Sorry to piggy back on your post, it just made me think of your post, I wanted you to know that you aren't alone.

Yeah, I hate it too to feel so weak. I had it already in elementary school, where I sometimes randomly started to cry when a kid said something mean our a teacher was just a little disappointed in something. It is so frustrating. How can I get close to people if I know that I am so easily hurt?
I try to think positive though. I keep telling myself that it wasn't my fault and even if it was, it is not the end of the world. This lady probably forgets about this in a couple of days anyway. I don't think that she wanted to hurt me this bad, she doesn't know how emotionally unstable I am. And maybe I shouldn't be upset about what people think of me anyway.
It is just really hard because I know that I will still think about this for years...I really hope we al find a way to get peace in our mind one day. Its embarrassing if other people see how you struggle and it isn't good for your self confidence at al. Talking about it helps a little though. It help me to see things in perspective and I know I am not the only one experiencing this.

I had a similar incident a while back. I had people give me mean, hard looks when I was driving probably because they think I'm too slow. One time, I cut in front of this car and the driver just went nuts. I didn't hit his car actually, nevertheless he got angry. He started following me, honking at the same time, and I was so scared that I couldn't look at him. The woman next to him said, "she's not looking" so he finally gave up. I didn't have a heart attack, but I certainly could feel my heart beat very fast! This is why I hate changing lanes, also one of the most difficult stuff to do when driving (at least for me). Now I always take a long hard look before I change lanes.

I just had a similar incident this morning. Not as daunting as your experience, but it's still bothered me a lot. I had to call up a machine repair guy at work to report that our machine was still faulty. He told me that it was because we were filling up the tank with hot water. I told him we've never filled it with just hot water, but sometimes we use both hot and cold taps so it's warm water, and often we just use cold water. Then I questioned if he was sure, because the water tank works fine when the battery is charged on the first day, but doesn't work on the second day when the charge is depleted. Then I could tell in his voice he had no patience, he said "This is my job, I know what I'm talking about, you're filling the tank up with hot water" and "I've had to change the valve on your machine 3 times now" [which is a lie, we've only called him out twice] and that I should just put a call out if I have a problem. I don't know why he didn't just leave a note the first time telling us to make sure we didn't fill the tank up with hot water. To be honest, when we first got the machine they told us not to fill it with hot water, but we figured if we use both hot and cold it'll be ok. So it probably is our fault.

But the point is I feel absolutely awful about it. I can't seem to shake this feeling inside me. I try so hard everyday to be perfect, because I hate it when people accuse me of faults and wrongdoings. Now suddenly I feel like I've let one slip. In this repair guys life I'm just another idiot who's made his life difficult. I'm trying to comfort myself...I know I never use just hot water in the tank cause I remembered the warning....putting warm water in isn't the worst sin in the world. The repair guy could've warned us after the first repair if he knew that was the problem and didn't want it happening again. Also I'm still not convinced it IS the problem because between the first and second repair only a couple of weeks past til the problem returned, whereas it was 9 months before we had to call him out the first time. Plus the problem seems to only occur on the second day when the battery is lower, suggesting the battery is part of the problem.

So I think maybe this guy was having a bad day, or is perhaps just the kinda guy who is angry like this all the time. I really don't think I've done anything majorly wrong, apart from using warm water, but now I know for sure, I'll always use cold in future. I also think in years to come I'll never remember this. It'll all blow over. Plus I need to refocus on what's important in life and not let these little work things sway me from my mission. So yea, I feel a little better now.....kinda :/

I know how you feel. It difficult when your emotions don't listen to your common sense.

Yesterday I was traveling by train, and I forgot that I couldn't use a special card in the evening or something. The person who was checking my card said I was traveling illegal. He didn't charge me and he said he would let it go for one time. He was a really nice guy...but I felt so horrible. I was sitting in my chair en there where people everywhere and I just tried not to cry. I had the feeling everybody was looking at me and I couldn't control my tears. I just wanted everyone to vanish or something.

Ugh, I hate trains.

jellzzz said:

I know how you feel. It difficult when your emotions don't listen to your common sense.

Yesterday I was traveling by train, and I forgot that I couldn't use a special card in the evening or something. The person who was checking my card said I was traveling illegal. He didn't charge me and he said he would let it go for one time. He was a really nice guy...but I felt so horrible. I was sitting in my chair en there where people everywhere and I just tried not to cry. I had the feeling everybody was looking at me and I couldn't control my tears. I just wanted everyone to vanish or something.

Ugh, I hate trains.

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I can really relate. When I receive the slightest bit of criticism or embarrassment, especially when lots of people are watching, it just opens up a wound in my heart that feels so tender and deep. That pain of being the bottom rung, the butt of the joke, the loser, the one that everyone looks down upon and pities, the one that nobody wants. It's such a hard pain to deal with. I wish I knew how to handle it better, or understood it better.

Me too. It's just so overwhelming that i can't control or handle it. I wish I could understand more about this feeling. Its a mystery to me why that feeling of rejection is so strong. And that makes it even harder to explain it to others.

Something like that happened to me yesterday.

I was walking my dogs in a big square and some people were watching birds there. Most of the birds were inside a fenced area and a couple were walking outside. My dogs started trying to run, and, in an impulse, I let them go. There aren't any dog parks in my country and I currently live in a very small apartment, so I usually take advantage of any opportunity to let them run whenever its safe. I thought the birds inside would be safe too, but one of the dogs found a way inside the fence and scared them all away while I cried for it to come back like a mad person.
The guy who was watching them with a couple of girls got so mad at me. He started yelling about how how inconsiderate I was. And the worse thing was that he was right. I was so ashamed. I ran home after that I just can't stop feeling so miserable and guilty. In retrospect, it was really a bad move, and I just feel like crap.

Now I am too afraid to get out of the house and run into him again. :idontknow: I wouldn't even know what to say except for an 'I am sorry' since it was really my fault.

I'm sorry to hear that you had such an awful experience. The only thing I can say is that people make mistakes and that you shouldn't feel guilty about it. That probably doesn't change anything, but i don't think you really did something wrong.

The horrible thing about this kind of experiences is that you get so paranoid after them. Even now I am still scared that I might run into that person again. They probably already forgot, but I am stil nervous.

Just say you didn't realize the dog could get in the fenced-in area.

It sounds coarse, but I wouldn't waste a lot of time justifying myself to strangers, it's a bad habit. If they can't understand it was an honest mistake then it's their problem.

They'll get over it or they won't, you didn't kill anybody. :thumbup:

I guess you guys are right. I DO get so guilty and paranoid though. I couldn't even go out for dinner yesterday because i was so afraid I'd run into the guy and he'd make a scene in front of my husband or something.

And at the same time I feel kinda stupid to feel like this over a couple scared birds.

Thanks for the replies, I guess I just have to get over it, which those people probably have done already. >.<

I sometimes feel pretty lonely when I realize that all the people around me are on a fundamental level different than me. If you feel all those miserable feelings about something that looks very small to others, it isn't good for your self esteem and your conection with people who don't have SAD. you can feel verry isolated from them. But you should know that you are not the only one who feels this way.

It's really good to know there are other people like me really. I spent most of my life thinking I was just too sensitive about my own mistakes and that I should never err or would be disappointing everyone/making everyone angry at me. But to say the truth I don't even know if I have SAD. I was just so upset at this whole incident that I started searching all over the internet to see if I could find someone else that I could talk to and maybe would understand it. And well, all I found was this forum, and I can really relate to all the other experiences you guys shared.

I hope this is ok.

It went kinda the same for me, when I first found this forum. I felt so alone and different that I wanted to find someone who felt the same way I did. I couldn't talk with anybody else because they wouldn't understand it. it is such a relief when you find out you are not the only one. And it really doesn't matter if you have a proper diagnosis or not, we are her to help each other out and share feelings, not to judge if a person really has SAD or not.

You are really just making things bigger then they are. You even said it yourself.

Reality is that when people come close to losing their life, they will lose their shit. That is because when someone else's careless mistake cost them their life then the person have every right to be angry. It's nothing against you as a person but against what you did at that particular moment.

As for you I think it's ok to feel bad because you could have killed her. But hey, she's perfectly fine. Fine enough to be yelling at you at the top of her lungs.

These are just emotions we have from these situations so don't feel bad. We all done stupid things at one time or another.