Moonie
Well-known member
I hope this post doesn't come across as vain, but I guess it is sort of inevitable. Basically, I feel like I am losing my looks. I am 24 years old, but I feel so old and ugly. And very sadly, my looks are the only thing that has enlivened me, made me feel worthwhile, made me feel noticed, made me feel confident in the last few years.
All throughout school, I had no friends, no dates, no life, no good looks. Don't get me wrong, there are things that I had back then that I don't have now. But in 2004, I started to work out, started to lose weight, tone up, get a tan, do my hair, dress better. And suprisingly, I got more attention at school, in my dorms, at stores, on the street, at bars, etc. I even got my first BFs in the year 2004. I really enjoyed this attention.
But now, only 2-3 years later, I feel like I have really lost my looks. I have gained about 10 pounds, I look old, lost my toned shape. And I feel miserable.
I feel ashamed for even having to write this post. I am not a model by any means, so that's why when I started to get attention for my looks, I was so happy and awakened. I feel like I lost some of who I was, though. I used to write alot, used to be creative, used to have hope. But after relying on my looks to make me happy for a couple years, I really have lost all my other interests. I feel like no one thinks I am pretty anymore. And for me, that's the only thing I had going for awhile. God knows, I really don't have much of a personality and I will honestly say it. And even if I do/did, hardly anyone will get to know it because looks were my only way of drawing people in.
I don't want to come across as vain. I am definitely not a person who judges people by their looks. I am only hard on myself when it comes to appearance.
I really don't know what I am looking for. Maybe help on how to feel better about myself without relying on looks. Maybe someone who understands the situation. I think I may have body dysmorphic disorder... because all I ever do is think about how ugly/fat/disgusting/undesirable I am.
All throughout school, I had no friends, no dates, no life, no good looks. Don't get me wrong, there are things that I had back then that I don't have now. But in 2004, I started to work out, started to lose weight, tone up, get a tan, do my hair, dress better. And suprisingly, I got more attention at school, in my dorms, at stores, on the street, at bars, etc. I even got my first BFs in the year 2004. I really enjoyed this attention.
But now, only 2-3 years later, I feel like I have really lost my looks. I have gained about 10 pounds, I look old, lost my toned shape. And I feel miserable.
I feel ashamed for even having to write this post. I am not a model by any means, so that's why when I started to get attention for my looks, I was so happy and awakened. I feel like I lost some of who I was, though. I used to write alot, used to be creative, used to have hope. But after relying on my looks to make me happy for a couple years, I really have lost all my other interests. I feel like no one thinks I am pretty anymore. And for me, that's the only thing I had going for awhile. God knows, I really don't have much of a personality and I will honestly say it. And even if I do/did, hardly anyone will get to know it because looks were my only way of drawing people in.
I don't want to come across as vain. I am definitely not a person who judges people by their looks. I am only hard on myself when it comes to appearance.
I really don't know what I am looking for. Maybe help on how to feel better about myself without relying on looks. Maybe someone who understands the situation. I think I may have body dysmorphic disorder... because all I ever do is think about how ugly/fat/disgusting/undesirable I am.
I would bet your very beautiful...if you don't mind me saying
