Under The Coffee Table

Hello, all.

A while ago, a week or so, I had made a post about being suddenly depressed for a reason which I could not find, and it has been on-going. During this week, I've had some stuff happen that I'd like some advice or comments on. So, during this low, it's been quite hard to go outside and head off to school, which reminds me that I need to make a thread about how I don't know what to do with my life after that, but next time! It's been hard to head off to school, because It's Canada and november, so it's already hitting -15 degrees celsuis, it's hard to be in that without a car, fifteen minute walk, that already sucks energy out of me that I don't have, and then I have to be at school with the stress of exams, and I have no motivation whatsoever. But, I managed to find refuge these past two days.

Under my coffee table.

I've been under this table since around 3 pm yesterday, thankfully there was so much snow I didn't have to go outside, school was cancelled. So I haven't left, I'm actually typing this out underneath it currently. I find this weird since I am deathly claustrophobic, or at least was. But here, as pathetic as it looks, it's the best I've felt all week. Being in a small, enclosed area, I've never felt safer. As if nothing could ever touch me. I was gonna get out around six, it's midnight now, but my brother came in to call me trash, so I decided against it.

I'm starting to think this is my safe-spot, dark tight spots. As a conclusion, I have some questions.
-Do any of you feel this way about small places?
-What are your 'safe-spots'?
-How am I suppost to come out of here? It's hard, I've tried, I feel so exposed outside the table.
-Advice on getting my motivation/energy back?
-Advice on hiding the fact that I have no motivation/energy?

Thank you~~

Sincerely,
-R

I prefer dark places anymore and small rooms where no one bothers me. I suppose I have my whole life really. I don't like to feel exposed in any way. I could live in a cave and be happy. That would make me feel the most safe.

Did something happen to you to make you retreat?

We can't stay there though, in our safe places. You have to just force yourself out. It actually is never as bad as we think it will be. Plus, just remind yourself you can go back if you need to when you are done with what you need to do. That helps me. I feel like I can relate to my dog, who goes into the closet and lays on the floor when his anxiety gets high due to tensions in the house. He comes out when things are better. He needs his den to feel safe, though.

I used to lock myself away in wardrobes when I was anxious. I no longer have a wardrobe to be able to. I would stay in there until I had to pee or something, then if my anxiety attack had passed by then I would stay out, otherwise Id go back in again.

I dont have much advice for coming out, just try and do it slowly, edge your way out. Give yourself little goals to reach, sit on the edge for a set time limit, then go back in, then sit a bit further out, etc

Oh yes, when I was a kid I would squeeze myself into all kind of tight spaces. I remember my grandmother had this giant ottoman that was hollow underneath and I spent a lot of time in there.

As a middle aged man can't really do that stuff anymore so I guess my version of that now is staying in bed as long as I can.