Upbeat? Happy?

I just had a realization about this website: Not everyone here is depressed. Right?

For some reason, I had associated social phobia with depression--and of course, sometimes, there is a connection.

I think my situation is this: While I have definitely known the sad depths of life (my dad died when I was a kid, my mom fell into a life-long depression, a lot of people can be cruel, etc.), I think at the heart of it, I am upbeat and just about melt when I can have a friendly conversation with someone, it seems so rare.

So . . . if you are "well rounded" in this regard, I'd love to hear from you--maybe be "penpals" (e-mail is fine). I just feel it's SO hard to meet nice people, including in my own family, and I would love to have that connection. Just looking for friends, nothing beyond that.

Thanks for reading.

My depression and anxiety are not constants. They come and go. Sometimes I am depressed 50% of the time, happy 50% of the time. Other times I am depressed most of the time for days, or weeks, but it's becoming more and more common for me to be happy most of the time. My depression and anxiety are slowly fading away. And a lot of it is due to therapy and me working on my thoughts, beliefs, and attitude.

I have mild depression, that comes and goes.

I've been through some very dark times, but I appreciate the happier times I have experienced this last few years, because of what I went through.

Kiwong, you point out something very important that I really missed the boat on last night, when I posted this:

Depressed or not, many people are capable of engaging in and enjoying upbeat conversation. My experience has been tainted, and so what I said probably came off as narrow minded and hurtful--and I'm really sorry about that.

My mother (main blood tie I'm in touch with), my half-brother, many of my friends in recent years, my in-laws, and even a boyfriend from some time ago, all suffer from depression, and I found that even if a relationship started out okay (not even always the case, though), it ended up one sided and quite toxic--and something more often than not I had to leave/cut the cord with to save myself . . . though sometimes, this took a VERY long time. I have also been taken advantage of/made the scapegoat of three close friends' problems (relating to mental illness) over the years (stretching a pretty long time-frame), and my mother behaves like this, too. Just recently, I thought I had made a couple of friends through a volunteer stint I do--and that did not turn out to be the case. One seemed very functional at our place of volunteering--but then, when we went out to lunch, my mind was blown at how unstable she was (to the point of my being frightened of her). I did meet one great person--and then learned he'll be moving in a year! ):

So . . . I guess I'm trying to steer clear of people who are too deep in need of help to not be able to maintain a healthy view of themselves, a relationship with a friend, and just be there for a friend in an upbeat way. I understand this can happen--and it's difficult to be there for someone else/be casual/talk about upbeat things when you are soooo down . . . I have been there, myself . . . and my heart goes out to anyone in this situation.

I am just finding, late in life, I need some positivity in my life that I haven't been finding in a lot of close relationships I have. I am grateful to have a husband who is upbeat, and we get along very well--but I do miss having a circle of friends, too.

So, I am sorry I came off as "anti-depressant", one might say. Best to you all!

I was depressed when I first came to this forum, about two years ago. Since then I've been slowly climbing out of it and living what I consider to be a very happy life, but not without its challenges of course. I consider myself to be a self-made optimist.

Well, with me, it depends. On a good day, generally happy n' upbeat. Though, ah've got one of those faces that doesnae smile much. So constantly get asked "What's wrong?" can make me mildly depressed. But persisting with that line of questionin' based the assumption - not made by me - that's something IS wrong. Then I will get pissed off to the point we'll huv a very shouty, sweary argument. :veryangry:

The aftermath of which will leave me more depressed than ah technically should be, and possibly in tears. :sad: And you stormin' away in the huff, cryin'. :crying: But generally, ah try n' remain in an upbeat mood by makin' daft, silly jokes.

I joined SPW because of my sexual anxiety, but depression has been my main issue for the best part of 13 years.

I think it's getting better, but who knows. One major problem could have me spiralling down again. I can't predict the future, but I do know that this is the "best" I've felt in a while in terms of keeping the depression at bay.

Having said that, when I talk to people, I'm usually pretty upbeat and try to make them comfortable, and I'm always trying to make myself available as a confidant (although that has been abused in the past, unfortunately, from people from this very site).

I hope you find some positive people you can chat to, chatterbox. I am certain that you will, and once you do, it'll be nice to have a happy person to bounce with, and their happiness can be a positive influence on your outlook, too.

My depression is closely linked to social anxiety. I'm depressed because I'm alone, when I have fulfilling social interactions, I'm not depressed, I'm also not depressed in general.

Srijita52 said:

My depression is closely linked to social anxiety. I'm depressed because I'm alone, when I have fulfilling social interactions, I'm not depressed, I'm also not depressed in general.

Click to expand...

I think good interactions with other people make us feel happy, no matter what. As humans, we crave this sort of interaction, no matter how introverted or misanthropic we may be.