Urgent help, severe social anxiety and Love

Urgent help, severe social anxiety and Love (Edit: Too late, I'm done)

I will tell shortly. need help fast.
She loves me, i love her a lot. didn't feel so much love my entire life. my entire body is warm and feels good but also bad.

She was frustrated why i didn't talk to her, then next day i explained her, i was shy person so i don't talk much, convo was like 4min and went to sleep.

the next day i wake up and filled with so much shame because of what i told her. she probably felt same. guess what, i log to facebook and she deactived her account, i've cried so hard, all day.

couples hours later she reactivates her account back.
she texts me, i answer coldly and with no interest and i logout.
why i answered coldly? because i've been through hell, how can i pretend like nothing happened and then talk to her normally.

next day she posts a song "You're killing me again" about me.

I wrote to her a long message explaining my self, that i need time to work on my self and etc.

She responded in hearts, she said she wants me and i'm pretty and more more she wrote. we had a convo of 20min and it went nice.

next day which is now i'm filled with so much shame again from yesterday and worried. it's so bad, i can't eat or sleep, i'm too nervous, really.

i think she'll feel the same, i think she's nervous too.

Please tell me what to do! do i remove her, i can not, i didn't feel so much love my entire life. or do i tell her in chat,

"how do you feel? i think it's better if we stop communicating with each other, as i said, i need time to change my self and it's hard for me, i wouldn't mind if you'll delete me later or be with someone else. i need a break"

what if she'll burst into tears or something.. please help! what do i do?

I'M JUST NERVOUS TO TEXT HER AGAIN! and i feel so bad! IDK WHAT TO SAY, I'M AWKWARD

nobody helped. i sent her a message that we're over. i think she went to harm her self, not even sure, she read my comment, didn't respond and left. person is broken mentally. was painful but for the better, i really felt nervous pretty much all the time. now less. but what's up with her?

URGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So much pain and suffering. she and me was listening to this song when we were pretty ok with each other https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XK-leYHGJQA this is just a song to describe the pain now when i listen to it

I just wish she could take it easy. and do what i need to do. just no to suffer constant nervousness.
Such a hard Life. *Crying*

That girl was basically my life. I'm 20 years old and i've never experienced so much love towards a person and she loved me as much as i loved her.

u know what happened day before i texted her this message? we chatted for like 25min and everything was ok. it was a great conversation. i wrote her name + my name on a list and uploaded it to facebook tagged her. i had ideas running with her under the rain, sit under the moonlight. which i never would do with any other girl i know.

Get Rid Of Negative Energy In Your Life - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nd6roGmAcSw
Pretty much i was the negative energy.

well, ur first post was up for about 1 hour before you went and did something. idk maybe not enough ppl read it in time. I would have said to distract yourself a little and let a natural response to her "games" come about when the time was right, because natural, un-rushed responses are the best choice in these situations, I think. anyway, sounds like ur really wound up about all this.

don't dwell on it too much. but if you need to continue to tell her how you feel, then do it. just remember she might not respond to it positively.

R3K said:

well, ur first post was up for about 1 hour before you went and did something. idk maybe not enough ppl read it in time. I would have said to distract yourself a little and let a natural response to her "games" come about when the time was right, because natural, un-rushed responses are the best choice in these situations, I think. anyway, sounds like ur really wound up about all this.

don't dwell on it too much. but if you need to continue to tell her how you feel, then do it. just remember she might not respond to it positively.

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that's it bro. no matter what i do. always i will give bad energy for her. i felt not good my self and was in constant anxiety and nervousness. maybe she was too. until i change for real. maybe there will be something but low low chances.
because it will take sometime and this time.. later on she won't care anymore. once i send a message. boom. i'll get a hit and she'll remove me from friends.

after i sent her the message i didn't longer feel anxiety but i got panic attack. my throat feels tight. and the worst that i think now if she's ok and if she accepted what i wrote and how she feels about it.

I'm pretty much going to end up never seeing such love in my entire life. I'm 20 now and it was the first time it ever happened to me. i've seen tons of cute girls and so many pretty girls in life. but her and her personality. never seen.

This reminds me of how I felt about a girl from work when I was the same age as you. It triggered a panic attack for me too.
I know it might now feel like all is lost, but in time, you will get over it, and you'll probably be wiser for it.

You feel like you were a bad energy in her life because you're a bad energy in your life as well. You're overcomplicating things. Did she make your life easier? Did you make her life easier? Then why not just go with that? It didn't really need to be a relationship, or needed to have a specific name. It could just be two people who got along and cared about each other, and just taking it from there without pressure or expectations.

If you really need to work on yourself, then why not have her along for the ride if she's willing to give you a helping hand? You could just as easily do the same thing for her, there's no reason to "break up" or fight over it. Simplify your life as much as you can. You care about her? Message her, show her that you care. Don't let anxiety be the judge.