What does a social anxiety panic attack feel like? I think I had one.

I had to claim social welfare money for the first time a few days ago. I really didn't want to do it and I was desperate to avoid it. College is no longer an option due to lack of money. I can't find a job. Anyway, my mom forced to to go on the dole. A few days ago I had to go to the unemployment office and sign on. The whole walk there was hell. Before entering the building I felt such desperation to get out of that situation. I kept thinking "I want to die, I WANT TO DIE". I really didn't want to do it. I wanted to turn around and go back home. I was on the verge of tears and I just couldn't handle it.
Once we got there my Mom did most of the talking. I was so intimidated by the judgmental woman behind the counter. She didn't say anything bad but I could just tell she though I was a lazy scumbag. Now, I have a meeting next week to explain why I need social welfare. I CAN'T HANDLE IT.
I'm going to have to go to the post office to collect the money. They don't put it into your bank account. I have a huge fear of interacting with authority figures. This is making me so depressed and stressed.

I know how daunting situations with authority figures can be. Stay strong, and just do it. Try to block all those negative thoughts that you expect from this meeting. Or think, you'll probably never have to interact with these people again soon after that.

This is so scary but if you face it and get it done with you will feel so good about yourself!

Thanks for your reply. But the thing is, I'm going to have to do this every week.

This might not be a lot to go on, but just think you will get used to doing this if it's a weekly occurrence. The biggest hurdle is now, so just try your best!

SadSally said:

I had to claim social welfare money for the first time a few days ago. I really didn't want to do it and I was desperate to avoid it. College is no longer an option due to lack of money. I can't find a job. Anyway, my mom forced to to go on the dole. A few days ago I had to go to the unemployment office and sign on. The whole walk there was hell. Before entering the building I felt such desperation to get out of that situation. I kept thinking "I want to die, I WANT TO DIE". I really didn't want to do it. I wanted to turn around and go back home. I was on the verge of tears and I just couldn't handle it.
Once we got there my Mom did most of the talking. I was so intimidated by the judgmental woman behind the counter. She didn't say anything bad but I could just tell she though I was a lazy scumbag. Now, I have a meeting next week to explain why I need social welfare. I CAN'T HANDLE IT.
I'm going to have to go to the post office to collect the money. They don't put it into your bank account. I have a huge fear of interacting with authority figures. This is making me so depressed and stressed.

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I know how embarrassing it can be, but if you actually need it and are trying to find a job, I don't think anyone would think less of you. Just remember that it's only temporary and it's giving you a hand up. I'm sure you could use the financial relief and maybe it can ease some stress associated with money.

I have the same thing happen to me, when I go to centrelink (my job office).You can get thou this, just remember to stay strong, you can do this. We believe in you.

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What is a panic attack like? You think can't breathe, you chest becomes tight, you feel faint like the legs are going to come out from underneath you. You are sure you are going to have a heart attack and die. That's what they were like for me.

I feel agitated during a panic attack. I can be at home alone, or out in the world. Perceiving that I may be socially rejected somehow brings on the worst attacks. All I know at that point is that I desperately want to separate myself from people. It feels good to do some meditation. I'll talk myself down, remembering my strengths and successes, or even failures if it puts things into perspective. I feel like, if I beat myself up, a lot of other people must feel similarly, even the ones with better jobs and degrees. You are not alone, SadSally, even in the dole line.

A lot of people seem to be resorting to self-employment. With minimal advertising, one can go into domestic work. With our aging population, housecleaning, cooking, child-care, gardening, and handiwork can pay multiple times the min wage, you work independently, and have flexibility to choose clients. Even though physical labor is involved, I currently find such freedom preferable to horrible anxiety attacks. There are certification courses that are far cheaper than college as well. I preach all this, but the best jobs seem to be found through friends' ideas and support, as everyone's situation is different.

I always get this panic attack during my sleep at night, it was horrible. The whole "take the deep breath" doesn't really works for me

SadSally said:

I was so intimidated by the judgmental woman behind the counter. She didn't say anything bad but I could just tell she though I was a lazy scumbag. Now, I have a meeting next week to explain why I need social welfare. I CAN'T HANDLE IT.
I'm going to have to go to the post office to collect the money. They don't put it into your bank account. I have a huge fear of interacting with authority figures. This is making me so depressed and stressed.

Click to expand...

I know exactly how you feel as I have been in this situation a number of times. It might help to remember that the authority figures we talk to are actually quite low down in their organization - I don't mean that in a derogatory way towards them, but it certainly helps me by realizing that they are no more important than I am in the global scheme of things. On this particular day they have a job and I don't, that's all. In a few weeks time it might be the other way round.

Another thing to bear in mind is that these people work to scripts, they aren't allowed to say or do whatever they like, they have to follow rules. So you can prepare yourself by doing online research about what rules will affect your situation so that you can more confidently address things as they are put to you. I'm not good at thinking on my feet so I find preparation like this helps me a lot.