What does Xmas do to you?

In some ways I enjoy Xmas, but because of my SA I generally don't like it.
All the Xmas parties I get invited to, all the BBQ's.. I stress about finding excuses to not go.

Why don't I go? Because I really don't give a shit when it comes to standing around listening to people getting drunk and talking c*r*a*p.

My perfect Xmas? Spending time with that someone special, watching them open the special gifts I bought for them.. then maybe having one or two close friends come around to spend a quiet afternoon with. Doing the things we like and are comfortable with.

And yep, we would probably all have SA.

What does the Xmas season do to you, and what would be your ideal Xmas?

What christmas does to me is bring up traumatic memories of my dad yelling at me, throwing the food on the floor, in anger over something, , the nervousness and hurt that he caused me. And then me and my mom would sit alone in silence, eating the christmas food, and she wouldn't say a thing.

I usually spend christmas with my sister and her husband and children. Sometimes it's nice, but sometimes I just think of bad memories and feel a general despair and sadness about my empty existence.

The ideal way to spend it would be in some house in the mountains, a wood stove and snow outside and maybe a friend and a cat.

I mostly like the Christmas season.

Like you guys, I have some bad holiday memories, some even horrible, but overall, I can appreciate the merriment of everyone else.

The family Christmas party is pretty much torture, especially since I'm the second oldest grandchild in the family and I haven't had a date or anything to bring to the shindig since I was in high school; meanwhile, everyone else is married and has kids. I know they think I'm bizarre, but the thing means a lot to my mom, so I can endure three hours of feeling really bad once a year.

Besides, once the step brothers and their broods clear-out, it gets a lot better and I'm able to loosen up. My granddad's 85 now, and I know I won't have too many more of these with him, so I try to put on a brave front and make them count.

But it is ROUGH! :crying:

Nanita said:

The ideal way to spend it would be in some house in the mountains, a wood stove and snow outside and maybe a friend and a cat.

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My vision of a perfect christmas as well In fact I managed to do this once, I don't remember how we managed to bail on the family christmas dinner, but me and my sister rented a shack with a wood stove, not in the mountain but in a forest next to the river, there was no one around and that was the best christmas ever.

Christmas isn't that bad in my family though, it's only my parents and sisters, we don't buy gifts and we usually only do a christmas dinner on the 24th, and sometimes do some activity like ice-skating on the 25th if people are willing. Nothing complicated.

Edit: I forgot to answer the question of the thread. I actually like the christmas vibe and I'm the kind of person who will enjoy setting a christmas tree with tons of lights, watching christmas movies and eating gingerbread cookies. But I don't have a TV and I avoid shops and supermarkets at all cost from mid-november to mid-january, so most of the christmas commercial capitalist bullsh*t never reaches my eyes and ears.

Its a really tough time, a lot of time thinking about unnecessary stuff, dealing with crowded supermarkets, trying to find a park around those tortured souls rushing for that last item, struggling to sleep because of the heat and humidity. The lousy spoilt holiday drivers. Crowded beaches at even sunset when I am trying to take photos. A lot of fear and uncertainty trying to survive in this fish bowl of a place I live in.

It is a break from work and people, which is good. The best XMAS I have enjoyed where when I was away from Porpoise Spit in Perth, going for runs through Kings Park.

i generally enjoy it. i love decorating, baking cookies, giving people cookies, christmas music and christmas movies, the food. i make the house smell all christmasy with cinnamon and pine scented candles. i just like the atmosphere of christmas.

However, when it comes to family and receiving gifts, i tend to not like it so much. honestly the best christmas for me was the one where i didnt get anything (due to a mess up with the secret santa gift exchange we tried. we're doing that again this year). I'm have this guilt with receiving gifts. i was the baby of the family by quite a few years, so i often got a lot more gifts than my siblings. This resulted in my siblings being resentful toward me and jealous. I always felt bad about it, and so i developed a sort of guilt with receiving gifts. I dont want to be viewed as spoiled or that i get everything i want. I dont ask for gifts anymore, and i dont tell people what i want. i'd rather not get anything at all. i want others to have gifts, not me. i wish people wouldnt get mad about "oh, i didnt get this or that," or "this person got more than me," or people getting so stressed out over buying gifts for people...

the family part is stressful, as there's always drama of someone getting upset because someone didnt come to visit for the holidays, or drama because of this or that or whatever. my grandparents always visit, and they stress me out so much. my grandfather is a **** to me. he said i was fat last year, says my sister is the pretty one, and is always trying to push me to do what he wants me to do with my life. he makes fun of my outfits, makes rude jokes all the time...

and with family gatherings always comes the questions of "you get married yet?" ...no... "do you have a boyfriend?" ...no... "How's school going?" ..i dropped out of college after my first year... "Oh, you going back?" i dont think so... makes me just feel like a bit of a failure in comparison to all my siblings and stuff..

perfect christmas would just be a peaceful one where no one makes anyone feel like crap.. just peaceful...

I like the idea of Christmas.

I do not like the trappings. But since my holidays is always over this period I do have some sort of holiday feeling.

And the family spend it together, my brother, my sister and her boyfriend and my parents.

My best ever Christmas was a few years back when my father had a knee replacement and could not come out of the bedroom and I did spend the day cleaning out my bedroom from top to bottom.

Christmas on the farm was ok as a kid, but hell as an adult. And since I eat under stress it means that I spend most of the day with a painful stomach.

My ideal holiday? I would love to spend it with someone I like and feel comfortable with, and read.

In a sentence; it makes my butt big.

..It's pretty much an ideal situation.

Like some others have said, Xmas for me is mostly full of bad memories. I tend to get angry, bitter and sad about it. But I try to enjoy parts of it, such as dressing up my pets and buying them presents, or the food. Usually I would try to be happy for the people I am with. This year Im looking at xmas alone at home with just my pets so Im unsure of how Im going to go this year, there's a community centre that does a free lunch for people with nowhere to go on xmas that Im considering going to, but I think im more likely to just spend it at home alone, eating junk food and wallowing in self pity.

However there is a part of me that longs for the white xmas picture that I see in movies and such... Sadly as an Australian my chances of having a white xmas is very low.

Hey if anyone is alone on Xmas day, maybe log onto chat just to say Hi and merry Xmas

It can be terribly lonely, so maybe just reach out on that one day. Maybe even not for yourself, but just to let others they aren't alone.

I don't celebrated Christmas to be honest. For me it means nothing. It's just a day off for me. I don't do Christmas things like most people do. I don't visit family since I don't know them very well and my parents are religious and don't believe in that stuff. The only thing I do is take advantage of the discounts from stores.

I was thinking of the same question awhile ago. For me, Xmas is a time of getting together with my family. Well, this is my only time to spend time with my parents.

Xmas makes me realize that gift shopping prices increase with age!

Christmas makes me a bit sad because a lot of my family members still buy me gifts while I don't give them anything in return. I do what I can to scrape together enough money to buy my nephew and little cousins a present, but I can't help but feel awful for not buying the rest of the family anything.

Sial Axetder said:

Xmas makes me realize that gift shopping prices increase with age!

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Oh hell yes!

Janey said:

Christmas makes me a bit sad because a lot of my family members still buy me gifts while I don't give them anything in return. I do what I can to scrape together enough money to buy my nephew and little cousins a present, but I can't help but feel awful for not buying the rest of the family anything.

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Yes that does feel awkward.. but I'm sure those that are giving you gifts don't feel that way.

Ah buckin' hate it...!! :thumbdown:

Christmas just makes me anxious, like really anxious. Then there's me being guilt-trippedinto being sociable with my dysfunctional family whom ah don't get along with. And every year ah huv drag ma arse doon the stair, an sit in the living room makin' small talk with folk ah'd happily avoid on every other day.

The weird thing is no-one in ma family believe in it now, yet they use the meal as an excuse.

And possibility of another huge argument, because the youngest of my two older sisters turns into a violatile, shouty bitch if she doesnae get things her way. Then there's the risk a loud argument because if ah say summit wrong ma older sibiling is on me like a pigeon on a chip.

So, basically I'm damned if ah do, damned if ah don't. Either way, I'm still puttin' everyone else happiness ahead of my own.

Ma ideal Christmas... Me, own ma own, as far away from ma family as possible. Preferable somewhere in Scottish Highlands.

PugofCrydee said:

Yes that does feel awkward.. but I'm sure those that are giving you gifts don't feel that way.

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I hope not! I do wish I could give more, as that's a far more pleasant feeling that receiving from others I find.

I have a nice Christmas memory of bailing on all the social crap for the time and floating down an icy river, fishing and camping out under the stars. It was cold as hell and snowy, but sooo beautiful. I felt like we were the last people on earth. That was pretty special. There were these two dogs that swam across the river to hang out with us. That was awesome since we had no dogs. They were so cool. I hated it when they swam away and went home, wherever that was.

Mostly X-mas stresses me out a bit since it's all about materialism and religion, neither of which I ascribe too.

I do love the lights, when done nice, not tacky.

I love the holidays - it always makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I feel closer to my family too - as a kid, my parents would always at least pretend to be happy in order to give my sister and I a good Christmas. As I get older, I find that this time of year makes my overies cry because I want to be married and have children.

Ideally, I would like to spend Christmas with someone I am madly in love with, hanging out with family, having a really great time playing White Elephant or something....and maybe being pregnant lol