What will you do if you have a crush?

For myself, I feel it's like a dilemma when I have a crush with a guy. Like right now, I have a crush with one of my colleague and everytime I meet him, I will blush and my heart pumpin so fast, and that makes me feel embarassed, and I don't dare to look at his eyes, I feel my words kind of messed up. And that makes me don't want to meet him cause I'm afraid to be embarassed. But on the other hand, when you like someone, of course you will want to see him as often as possible. I don't know what to do. I feel impossible to get close to him and kinda wish I can forget him and don't feel this feeling...
What is your all experience about having a crush...?

Pretty much the same

go after it, whats the worst that can happen? He might say no, thats it, thats a lot better than not ever even approaching him.

EmptyWords said:

go after it, whats the worst that can happen? He might say no, thats it, thats a lot better than not ever even approaching him.

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I think the problem is, what after the other side says no. will you just get depressed and leave? what will you say. i guess i can just freeze and look goofy.

:idea:

I had a similar experience about one year ago, I had rent a room in a house and fell desperately in love with a flatmate. I had the same symptoms you describe, and a couple of times I thought I might be close to having a heart attack just because she had walked into the same room. Quite stupid.

A strange thing that happened is that I felt the most ardent desire of her company when she was not there, and often in the middle of the night I would entertain the (very unwise) idea of rushing to her room and declare my love like in the 19th century. But then when I actualy was with her for a while, once the initial impact on my pulse and blood pressure had passed, I would become less interested.

Oh and no, I never managed to tell her, until I left Horrible experience, really. But it shouldn't be so hard for a girl as it was for me. I mean I had no chance whatsoever, even though she did not completely dislike my company it was perfectly clear that she was not attracted to me in a romantic way. But you, as a girl, have many more chances of succeding. Besides, we guys are much more sensitive and polite (yes we are ) so even if he says no he will most likely say it in a nice, understanding manner. Just go for it, and don't worry.

theres this girl at work. shes 5'6 slim long brunette hair she never lets down. a total four eyed geek. blue/grey eyes.

when i first worked with her. i made no eye contact. and always avoided her.

over the months i got comfortable in the place and with other people somehow were good friends. but we still dont talk much.

we have nothing in common and theres not a lot of activity for conversation. and i try really hard to conjure convo. i basically recite what id like to say to her then next day. she laughs at most of them.


shes with another man. but i still find myself thinking of her and always looking for her.

i think she likes me, but she doesnt show it. women are so subtle. sometimes i just wanna make a move. i have things wired in my brain like impulse that i have to get someone else posession. i grew up seeing that.

but where would i go then? ive never gotten close to anyone. hyperhidrosis.

socratic said:

I met a gorgeous girl last year. We got on really well and at the end of the night we had a kiss and a cuddle, i was dumbstruck. It felt like getting whacked over the head with a brick. She was about 5 foot 2, a bit smaller than me with blonde hair, she looked like, i think shes called kelly clarkeson, very cute. That night i was with my friends and one of my female friends was really unhappy that i was getting on with a girl and she went mental, as i was kissing her i saw a few people drag her off because she was really angry. Me and the cute girl swapped numbers and we all went our own ways. The next day my female friend and her cousin told me she was a lesbian and she wasnt interested. I tried to text her but got no reply. Seems weird we got on so well, then nothing. Im wondering if they said something to her to scare her off. I know she wasnt a lesbian, lesbians dont kiss guys. The same thing pretty much happens whenever i meet a nice girl. I think my friends are comfortable with me being the weird loner and they'd like to keep it that way. Sucks. But in response to the question, if i meet a nice girl and i know i wont bump into her everyday, if i think she likes me too, i just ask her out casually. I dont say, wanna go on a date, ill say something like, i was gonna go n see that new film, i havent got no one to go with though, are you upto anything this weekend? its not to full on and the worst they'll say is, eww get away from me yer freak! nah jus kiddin, they'll say theyre busy if they dont wanna go.

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Kelly clarkson?? Isnt that the singer who won pop idol

Nothing

I went up to her and she had no idea who I was even though we met just weeks before. I needed that turn off.

scyth said:

socratic said:

I met a gorgeous girl last year. We got on really well and at the end of the night we had a kiss and a cuddle, i was dumbstruck. It felt like getting whacked over the head with a brick. She was about 5 foot 2, a bit smaller than me with blonde hair, she looked like, i think shes called kelly clarkeson, very cute. That night i was with my friends and one of my female friends was really unhappy that i was getting on with a girl and she went mental, as i was kissing her i saw a few people drag her off because she was really angry. Me and the cute girl swapped numbers and we all went our own ways. The next day my female friend and her cousin told me she was a lesbian and she wasnt interested. I tried to text her but got no reply. Seems weird we got on so well, then nothing. Im wondering if they said something to her to scare her off. I know she wasnt a lesbian, lesbians dont kiss guys. The same thing pretty much happens whenever i meet a nice girl. I think my friends are comfortable with me being the weird loner and they'd like to keep it that way. Sucks. But in response to the question, if i meet a nice girl and i know i wont bump into her everyday, if i think she likes me too, i just ask her out casually. I dont say, wanna go on a date, ill say something like, i was gonna go n see that new film, i havent got no one to go with though, are you upto anything this weekend? its not to full on and the worst they'll say is, eww get away from me yer freak! nah jus kiddin, they'll say theyre busy if they dont wanna go.

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Kelly clarkson?? Isnt that the singer who won pop idol

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Haha...I thought that too..

Ugh...never even cross my mind that I will ever tell him about my feeling, because I cannot even speak properly to him about work matter. This is SA effect I think, I'm just too scared.
I find it difficult even to ask simple question to a colleague who I don't really take notice of.

I'd probably just tell em now =/

why do all guys have the similar stories??..one, they dont go wit a girl at all..or even if they do..next day the girl have some excuses for y she cant see the guy again..im sooo afraid to meet a girl now

:idea:

its horrible . im so scared of rejection. once in awhile they'll be a girl thats eyeing me, or at least someone will say that she is ,but i have no clue to tell when a girl is giving me signals.


when i have a crush, i just keep to myself , i just dont know how to approach people. my self-confidence is non-existant. :roll:

I become obsessed with my crushes and eventually start to stalk them. I monitor their everyday behaviour and a pattern usually develops - so i eventually get to a stage where i can show up to a place that i know they will be before they get there. It seems less suspect that way - not that i appraoch them or anything...they don't even know me or that i am there -i always conceal myself from them so they don't notice me. I just like to watch.
Okay seriously, i pretend like they don't exist when i am around them - i know i will never make anything of it. I dream about them though.

Crush on a guy?

Very good post. An issue most of us have to deal with somehow!

From a guys perspective who has had crushes on women, I can offer some advice. I did not do this but it is something you might try. Approach him about a work-related issue--that seems to take the pressure off the personal aspect of your feelings. You may find out things about each other. The conversation may drift into personal things or it may not. This seems to be a good start--you practice social skills with a real person in a real situation.

It's sounds as if it is too late, but try to avoid an emotional investment in him. I assume you fantasize about a relationship with him. Neither of these things reflect negatively on you...they are probably fairly typical.

I recently developed a very strong crush on a celebrity I'd seen only on TV. I kept trying to live with the painful reality: I would never see her; I would never meet her; I would never talk to her; I would never get to know her in wany way. Unfortunately, I kept thinking about all the fantasies of meeting her in some bizarre, impossible way. I preferred the happy delusion to the unhappy reality. I recently took a trip to help my elderly aunt and, upon return, the fantasies were gone, kinda, sorta, maybe... It takes time to get over these things.

In your case, it is possible to meet and get to know this guy. Upon finally reading responses to your original, I understand that you can't even talk to him about work matters. Your anxiety goes well beyond just this guy. Are you seeing a psychiatrist who deals with anxiety issues, maybe has CBT sessions? You understand your disorder; you need help in working through it. Please don't go through life w/o trying to solve this anxiety issue. I'm 55 yo and lived with SPia and depression all my life. I see little hope at my age.

BTW, if and when I did manage to meet the object of my crushes, they turned out to be damned disappointing.

What I do when I have a crush is a bit crazy. I dont do it on purpose but its just the way i panic and react. I normally avoid the person cos im embarrased of what I will do or say when I see them. Sometimes Im even mean to them, or try to get away from them if im in a conversation with them, in order to escape. Its very stupid I know.

scatmantom said:

What I do when I have a crush is a bit crazy. I dont do it on purpose but its just the way i panic and react. I normally avoid the person cos im embarrased of what I will do or say when I see them. Sometimes Im even mean to them, or try to get away from them if im in a conversation with them, in order to escape. Its very stupid I know.

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same here.
I absolutely, crazily, head-over-heels loved this guy two yrs back. I gave him hell n I was mean to him but at the same time I was trying to show that I liked him. Practically stalked him secretly everyday and being so aware of his presence all the time, till he couldn't ignore my behaviour in his presence, and then he kept asking me was I all right? And then I did the stupidest thing and pretended that the reason I was nervous was because I hated him and that's y I couldn't stand his presence! Ain't that crazy? In the end he slipped away...