Whats wrong with me

I am 26 and have suffered from mild depression for about 6 years now.

I used Proprananol for about 5 years but stopped after feeling confident enough to carry on without them.

Last year I was involved in a fist fight that occured out of the blue, a group attacked me and although I won the fight I have not been the same.

I am perfect within my house and quite confident with friends and those who I know very well, but outside or when a stranger comes into the house I am a totally different person.

For example my next door neighbour is being difficult and is blasting music at 4.30 in the morning and if you use the Police around my area you are an outcast, I have been trying to tell him to stop doing it but each time I do I feel stupid and like Im in the wrong.

Today I tried to fight my emotions and when I was overcharged in a shop I spoke out but I felt like a right idiot when they denied it, I felt like I was in the wrong for arguing over 50p.

I also find it hard to take criticism whether it be in person or over email, on other forums when I write something that people dont agree with I am afraid to read their replies and dont know why I do that.

I would really appreciate it if someone could help me diagnose my problem or point me in the direction of what they think I could have.

Thanks.

I cannot give you a clinical diagnosis of what you are having because I'm not in the position to do it... but I can relate with you... sometimes, I have the courage to say what's on my mind just to defend myself to something that i think is right, but then it still gives me a guilt feeling because I feel that I just made a big deal out of the situation... For example, I argued with a driver for overcharging me, the driver gave in but i still felt guilty for whatever reason.... I just think that what gives me this feeling is because my SUPEREGO is so high that this small aggressiveness could bother me a lot, and another reason is it really bothers me what other people are thinking about my action... so even if I try to tell myself that criticisms are just a normal part of life, I couldn't really fool my feelings because it does worries me still.... so the point is that this kind of anxiety is mainly rooted from my overconsciousness of the people around me and my overly conscience mind... so I just thought that it does relate with what you are experiencing right now... just analyze what makes you feel that way and it could help you solve your problem in a way....

Thank you for your post.

You've hit the nail on the head, it is overconsciousness thats doing it and I'll have to try and find a way to combat that.