When a girl "bites your head off"

AtTheGates · Apr 24, 2015

Has this ever happened to anyone?...its pretty much my worst fear when ever when considering talking to a girl..half the time I just decide its not worth it...like if she was just overly rude/mean for no reason simply because of the fact that she doesnt want me to talk to her.....I was watching an episode of Louie last night and at the beginning of the episode he was trying to talk to this girl in the most polite way possible and she just ripped him a new one for no reason...he wasnt even trying to hit on her..I know its just a tv show or whatever but that kind of thing really does happen..mainly to awkward guys who arent that much to look at......I always assume that kind of thing is going to happen to me if I try to talk to certain girls.....its just unnecessary stress..I dont need that kind of thing in my life so I just avoid most girls/women....

Aylaa · Apr 24, 2015

I wonder what you mean with "certain girls"?

AtTheGates · Apr 24, 2015

Aylaa said:
I wonder what you mean with "certain girls"?

idk...the ones that look like they MIGHT be nice?

..I can never really tell though.

and no I dont mean only hot girls..I dont mind if a girl isnt exactly a bombshell.

but im not talking about flirting..I mean just polite conversation.

Pacific_Loner · Apr 24, 2015

You've posted a few things about how girls are mean or rude when you try to talk to them, and I'm just wondering what is usually the context when you try to talk to these girls, it would be easier then to try and help you

Sacrament · Apr 24, 2015

Sometimes it happens because the girls is naturally mean, or she's upset at something that happened during her day. It can also happen because she's freaked out for being approached (assuming you're a perv, or simply because she's not interested or has a boyfriend), and wants you to get away as soon as possible. Sometimes it might even happen because they have low self-esteem and freak out immediately because they don't know how else to react, regretting it in hindsight.

It doesn't necessarily mean that something's wrong with you. Either way, if you're going to do the whole direct approach thing, you have to assume some girls will act like that. Most girls don't really like that, and prefer guys introduced to them by their friends, etc.

Megaten · Apr 24, 2015

In referring to you joking and she cursed you out, I've learned the hard way that sometimes people's humor may not quite line up with yours. Especially sarcasm. Anyways I dont think there's any rhyme or reason to who's going to shut you down gently or violently. Some people are nice and others just arent. My first date was pretty freakin bad. I was bumbling and making mistakes so I told the woman that it was my first date so sorry if Im making stupid mistakes. She cursed me out saying she was not going to be someone's training wheels and that I was using my social anxiety as a crutch. Later I found out she had a history of having guys just using her and leaving so she misunderstood what MY intentions were and flipped. So long story short, if someone is mean its probably because they have their own issues and its not all just your fault.

Kiwong · Apr 24, 2015

I suppose polite conversation can come across as awkward. Way back then I did hear a few girls say I was too polite, or they hated guys who were too polite. I never learnt to talk naturally, I was too nervous, I thought I was being polite but I came across as awkward.

There were girls who bit my head off, I always chose the wrong ones, it seemed. There were kind girls too, and maybe if I tried to talk to them things might've worked out differently. But I got too badly hurt by the unkind girls, and I gave up even trying.

OCSASE2016 · Apr 24, 2015

As far as conversations go I found women to generally be nicer than what I initially thought (conversations with complete strangers). It really helps though to have a handful of icebreakers ready for chatting (I find situational icebreakers are easy to remember). But do keep in mind though that the more attractive a woman you talk to the more resistant she may be to having a "talk" as she is more than likely attempted to be chatted up throughout her life by many men, and she has to have some way to cut out a lot of her time spending on strangers to get her stuff done.

Anyway, you'll probably still encounter that "female dog" that just chews you up and spits you out, but just remember empathy; Perhaps she just really had a really poopy day and is taking out her anger/frustration/sadness on the nearest person for convenience. In that case just brush it off as an isolated incident and part of human nature.

Hope that helps!

Bronson99 · Apr 24, 2015

Sacrament said:
It doesn't necessarily mean that something's wrong with you. Either way, if you're going to do the whole direct approach thing, you have to assume some girls will act like that. Most girls don't really like that, and prefer guys introduced to them by their friends, etc.

Not true. Many women like attention, even from guys they don't know. It's flattering. Certainly the reverse is true, virtually EVERY guy likes attention from women, doesn't matter who it is.

So I don't think it's the opposite with women. We're all human beings, we all like attention. In some cases, yes of course, some will respond negatively but it happens to everyone.

THeCARS1979 · Apr 24, 2015

AtTheGates said:
Has this ever happened to anyone?...its pretty much my worst fear when ever when considering talking to a girl..half the time I just decide its not worth it...like if she was just overly rude/mean for no reason simply because of the fact that she doesnt want me to talk to her.....I was watching an episode of Louie last night and at the beginning of the episode he was trying to talk to this girl in the most polite way possible and she just ripped him a new one for no reason...he wasnt even trying to hit on her..I know its just a tv show or whatever but that kind of thing really does happen..mainly to awkward guys who arent that much to look at......I always assume that kind of thing is going to happen to me if I try to talk to certain girls.....its just unnecessary stress..I dont need that kind of thing in my life so I just avoid most girls/women....

it doesnt mean its going to happen though

Sacrament · Apr 25, 2015

Bronson99 said:
Not true. Many women like attention, even from guys they don't know. It's flattering. Certainly the reverse is true, virtually EVERY guy likes attention from women, doesn't matter who it is.

So I don't think it's the opposite with women. We're all human beings, we all like attention. In some cases, yes of course, some will respond negatively but it happens to everyone.

They don't like attention when they're used to having ****s approaching them, being crass and so on.

Megaten · Apr 25, 2015

Bronson99 said:
Not true. Many women like attention, even from guys they don't know. It's flattering. Certainly the reverse is true, virtually EVERY guy likes attention from women, doesn't matter who it is.

So I don't think it's the opposite with women. We're all human beings, we all like attention. In some cases, yes of course, some will respond negatively but it happens to everyone.

Sacrament said:
They don't like attention when they're used to having ****s approaching them, being crass and so on.

Yeah Ive had some women tell me that they get hit on just about every time they're alone and do not like it. However everyone likes attention from someone they're attracted to. A lot of us guys dont get approached by women often so we havent gotten to that point where we are annoyed when one starts talking. Well unless you're a celebrity. I was reading how this woman walked up to Johnny Depp at a basketball game to get his autograph and security jumped her. I dont think he was flattered because apparently he went about his business sipping his iced tea lol.

NathanielWingatePeaslee · Apr 25, 2015

AtTheGates said:
Has this ever happened to anyone?...its pretty much my worst fear when ever when considering talking to a girl..half the time I just decide its not worth it...like if she was just overly rude/mean for no reason simply because of the fact that she doesnt want me to talk to her.....I was watching an episode of Louie last night and at the beginning of the episode he was trying to talk to this girl in the most polite way possible and she just ripped him a new one for no reason...he wasnt even trying to hit on her..I know its just a tv show or whatever but that kind of thing really does happen..mainly to awkward guys who arent that much to look at......I always assume that kind of thing is going to happen to me if I try to talk to certain girls.....its just unnecessary stress..I dont need that kind of thing in my life so I just avoid most girls/women....

Could be worse.

But at least he scored, right? :thumbup:

More seriously, this is a common problem with social anxiety. The more socially anxious you are, the less likely you are to interact with people (including girl-people). The less you interact, the more likely you are to be and appear uncomfortable, which tends not to go over well. Also the less experience you have, the more you are likely to screw up without even realizing what or how. That's just how anything goes, really.

Someone who didn't have social anxiety would not have been put off much or at all by anything you mentioned, and would simply have stormed right on to the next opportunity.

There is no easy answer to the problem. I can only tell you that the fewer attempts you make (however painful and scary they are, and however unsuccessful) the fewer successes you will have. It takes experience and that's not easy to come by.

Bronson99 · Apr 25, 2015

NathanielWingatePeaslee said:
Someone who didn't have social anxiety would not have been put off much or at all by anything you mentioned, and would simply have stormed right on to the next opportunity.

Well said.

Work on diminishing social anxiety, and hopefully at a certain point, "rejections" or whatever will just bounce right off and you won't de-value yourself, because of it.

Bronson99 · Apr 25, 2015

Sacrament said:
They don't like attention when they're used to having ****s approaching them, being crass and so on.

I guess being more polite during an approach will, then, insure one from getting their head bit off..? (Sounds like a joke, but it's actually an honest question.)

Kiwong · Apr 26, 2015

I've been singing the title of this thread to Percy Sledge's "when a man loves a woman"

When a girl bites your head off.
Can't keep his mind on nothing else.

Sacrament · Apr 26, 2015

Bronson99 said:
I guess being more polite during an approach will, then, insure one from getting their head bit off..? (Sounds like a joke, but it's actually an honest question.)

That will depend on her attitude. But if your attitude's in the right place, and you take it with a grain of salt, there will be no negative side to you (as in, if she's nasty to you, you can 1) become insecure and wonder what's wrong with you, or 2) shrug it off has her probably having a bad day, since you've done nothing wrong).

Argentum · Apr 27, 2015

It really is on other people if they respond to someone saying hello with rudeness. Whether or not it's common doesn't mean it's an accurate measure of anything except one person's bitchiness. Doesn't change the shock of it, but still.

Metal_isthe_Answer · Apr 27, 2015

Sacrament said:
They don't like attention when they're used to having ****s approaching them, being crass and so on.

Being crass or perverse is not the same thing as someone who approaches someone in a polite manner. Anyway, I don't approach many women because while I'm in college right now, I'm older than a lot of the students (I'm 30), I always worry that women will be disgusted by an age difference so I just don't say anything (I'm also a bad judge of other peoples age).

kya · Apr 28, 2015

Maybe the ones that seem kind of abrasive and rude are actually nice they're just insecure themselves. Good luck , dear xo

When a girl "bites your head off"

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