When a girl/women quickly looks away(usually to the ground)

decadeOfSA

Well-known member
Is that a sign she likes you or just can't stand you? This has happened at school(college) with a few women that I like and I feel that they might like me. One of them doesn't talk much to anyone in class(except her friend that sits next to her), but sometimes when I ask a question in class, she looks back directly at me(in my eyes) and tries to answer my question, without smiling though :(. Acutally one day in class it started raining and some people left the class. I was wondering why and asked why everyone is leaving. She came right up in front of me and looked me in the eyes and told me that they left their windows down. She didn't smile or anything, but I thought it was interesting that she did this looking me straight in the eyes right in front of my desk. Then on certain occasions, I run in to her in the hall and she doesn't smile(actually she has never smiled at me - she kind of did once when passing in the hall and she was looking down, it was like one side of her lip was smiling) but she "quickly" looks away(usually just straight down). She used to sit next to me and then for some reason she moved seats. The class has ended and towards the end of class she just seemed to avoid coming anywhere near me or saying anything to me anymore. A similar thing has happened with several other women I have been interested in. I'm wondering if it's a good sign and she is just shy or what? I am too shy(anxious) to ever make any moves and I feel like I have missed some opportunities by not making conversation. I want a relationship, even though it would be hard with SA, though it maybe good therapy. I don't even care how long it lasts if it gets me started gaining confidence with women and other people. I find it hard to smile and I look mad a lot and so I wonder if I scare off these women.

thanks
 

DaDahhhhDaDaDa

Active member
Ok, I've had a similar experience to you but I'm not 100% certain what it means, just in my case it was bad. :? First off, this girl really liked me and showed it (introducing herself to me, smiling, touching, almost dating etc). So when I decided not to call her after she asked me to, she gave me a cold shoulder for about a week before I managed to have the courage to apologise. Again the new date didn't happen and for a few weeks after that failure we remained friends, those signs of interest were still there.

So then she starts ignoring me, I see her talking to some guy and then I know it's over. One day out of a large crowd I catch her staring at me and she immediately lowers her gaze. However, I sit next to her in class later that day and she subconsciously shows the signs of interest (mimicking my actions) but really, really tries to ignore me. It's a very awkward moment but we do manage to say a few words to each other towards the end and that's the last time I speak to her or any of her friends.

Taking this from my story, it seems like your girl has lost interest and is trying to get over her attraction to you. I personally think trying desperately to 'get over' someone that you see everyday by totally ignoring their exsistance is pretty stupid because, at least in my case, the more you try to ignore something the more attention you pay to it. I can't confirm it because I'm not a woman, but maybe a girl on this forum can lend some weight on my claim. My suggestion - try not to dwell on it too much and move on with life.
 

decadeOfSA

Well-known member
girls/women are weird with their games

I hate when they play hard to get. I remember this girl would be all over me and then ignore me for a week and then when I was staring at her she would tear up and shortly later she would talk to me again. I never had the nerve to ask her out though. Probably just got tired of me not asking her out? I dunno.

Anyway there seems to be a pattern where a girl/woman shows some interest in me and I don't show enough interest back(because of my anxiety) and then I see her in a hall or something and she quickly drops her head to the ground as soon as she see me.

This has happened several times and I wonder if it means that she likes me or just plain hates me. I would think that someone not interested at all would just look to the side instead of quickly looking down.

Often they smile a lot though, but this one didn't really... so I dunno why she was only talking to me(besides her friend) and did some things that made me think she was interested. She seemed to listen closely to whatever I said and when she had some opportunity she would look at me directly in the eyes and say something, but she would never talk to anyone else except her friend. I think she might have been a little shy too.
 

strawberrybrunette

Well-known member
Do all guys read into women's gesture like this? That's pretty freaky - does that mean us girls have to be constantly self-concious and careful about every single freakin gesture we make?

Seriously, i think you are reading into this too much. The girl you are refering to probably doesn't even realise she does it. Maybe she is just a bit shy. If you like her, don't let something like this put you off - perhaps it would be best for you just to assume she's shy, and respect that she might seem a bit distant sometimes. If she likes you, in time she'll probably act upon it - just be warm and friendly towards her.
 
I know that I do this a lot, to people in general, for no particular reason. Actually it is very confusing because I would probably do it if I did really like the person, or if I didn't like them at all. It good very well mean that she likes you though, it is just a problem with expressing emotions. I think she doesn't want you to know how she feels, and just tries to hid it. Whenever I am nervous I look away and at the ground because I am afraid of looking the person in the eyes, and I am afraid that they think I am staring at them.
 

rain_

Member
Honestly, I also get extremely annoyed with the "games" guys play around with too. :roll:

Anyway, it would really depend on the girl and her personality. I look away when I like someone because I become flustered and embarrassed as I'm unsure how to react to the person.
 

DaDahhhhDaDaDa

Active member
strawberrybrunette said:
Do all guys read into women's gesture like this? That's pretty freaky - does that mean us girls have to be constantly self-concious and careful about every single freakin gesture we make?

Heh I think it's to do with social phobia, you're always looking for the 'right' ways to react or counter-react in social situations.

rain_ said:
Honestly, I also get extremely annoyed with the "games" guys play around with too. :roll:

Well I actually love eye games or seeing from the corner of my eye that women look at me and whisper behind my back. It can really, really boost confidence and it was quite a shock in my post-depressive "I think I'm pretty f**king ugly" phase to know women even took any interest in me. I'm very, very far from thinking I'm top-stuff, and I certainly won't ever be close, but at least as a result of playing all these games I might if I work up the courage actually ask a woman out.
 

Walk

Well-known member
I wouldn't place TOO much emphasis on people's body language. At least not when it's not OBVIOUS, like a girl licking her lips while she's talking to you.

I've seen hot girls who have actually frowned when I'm around them, only to find out they liked me.

Pretty much, the only way to make things happen with a girl, even if she likes you, is to talk to them, which is the tricky part, of course.

Jeez, I know I've blown it many a time before. The worst is not talking at all though... :oops:
 

decadeOfSA

Well-known member
strawberrybrunette said:
Do all guys read into women's gesture like this? That's pretty freaky - does that mean us girls have to be constantly self-concious and careful about every single freakin gesture we make?

Seriously, i think you are reading into this too much. The girl you are refering to probably doesn't even realise she does it. Maybe she is just a bit shy. If you like her, don't let something like this put you off - perhaps it would be best for you just to assume she's shy, and respect that she might seem a bit distant sometimes. If she likes you, in time she'll probably act upon it - just be warm and friendly towards her.

Well I don't like being rejected, so I will usually not hit on a girl unless I know she likes me. The thing is, she hasn't really smiled at me except for kind of a half smile, but she has done other things, such as initiating conversation when she talks to nobody else except her friend(I've noticed her friend staring at me) and it seems like she is always listening to what I am saying and jumping in ocassionally to say something and she has done some other things. I just noticed a pattern in the past when girls that liked me and did the whole smiling and preening thing and then I didn't smile back, because I am not the type that smiles a lot(I wish I was) and I have SA, so I'm shy. Then I see them later and as soon as they see me they look straight down really quick. These girls don't do that with anyone else either. She doesn't look down quickly when other guys look at her. So, I am pretty sure they either like me or hate me. I would think the former, but I would really like to know if this is usually a sign of attraction and shyness or disgust. I don't think she would have talked to me at all if she was disgusted. So, in conclusion I am not reading into one sign, but I would like to know what quickly looking down indicates. In the future I would act on that sign and flirt. Actually I probably offended her as I tend to be kind of arrogant some times and she said something to me in a manner that made me laugh, even though what she said was not funny. I wish I didn't do that. If I see her again alone I would try to talk to her and smile(even though it is hard for me to smile sometimes), but she has been always walking with her friend lately and I would want to talk to her alone.

thanks
 
strawberrybrunette said:
Do all guys read into women's gesture like this?
That's just because we like to know if what we're doing is working or not.

But it really doesn't matter if she likes you. If she doesn't like you, MAKE her like you. If she already likes you, make her like you more. You don't really need to know what she thinks now.
 

Primrose

Well-known member
I know where you are coming from - its very easy to think this way.

I see people looking at me and then looking away. I don't associate anything good with it though - it always looks as if they are ashamed they looked in the first place.

Surely it's not normal to assume this?
 
Ive had a simular problem that ive noticed with girls body languages. In the past i used to have trouble maintaining eye contact with girls, its not that i would look away, but that i had a hard time focusing on their faces, so my eyes were looking at the girl, just moving left and right every second or two, it was frustrating, because my first girlfriend i ever had noticed it and told me.

Recently ive been talking to another girl that I like, but i dont have that problem anymore, my eyes can now sit still and relax whenever i talk to women, but now i notice that girls might feel intimidated by this because I notice that this girl looks away, not down, but to the side, and slowy comes back into eye contact with me.

This doesnt only happen with her, but also with my two sisters, my mother, and even my father. Im a pretty nice person, a little cocky but im nice and i dont understand why people do this, I dont want to send an intimidating message, but then again maybe it is because im 6'1 and 195 lbs of mostly muscle, damn me and my hunkyness.
 
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